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Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

562 replies

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

OP posts:
Clemmie92 · 26/07/2026 15:57

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 12:44

He did leave, not before I read him the riot act and made it clear I won’t stand for any further repeats. Actions will speak louder than words going forward.

Jesus, so even after nearly a year of this, he is still being given another slap on the wrist.. he treats you like a sex slave, has no respect for you and your home, has a drink and drug problem..,yeah, you really showed him… I really hope there aren’t children in the home..

toottoot3 · 26/07/2026 15:55

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

He's hungover and wants a roast, if he was trying to make up for last night he wouldn't have half arsed the cleaning of the sofa, you told him you were upset about it, and he left you to clean it. Bet he will be making jokes over dinner about it too, cause best to start chipping away at those boundaries of yours now before he moves in!!

morbidd · 26/07/2026 15:54

Jesus Christ the bar is low.

disturbia · 26/07/2026 15:52

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

You are easily bought!

madaboutpurple · 26/07/2026 15:39

He needs to get you a new sofa, then you get your key back then say Goodbye to him and start meeting decent men. Nothing good will happen if you stay with him.

BluntButEmpathic · 26/07/2026 15:38

Early signs that he has a drinking problem. I would get shot of him personally.

tooomanytortillas · 26/07/2026 15:37

well that was a cheap n easy apology for him wasn’t it?!? Jeez, what a very low bar you seem to have. Very sad 😔

PinkyFlamingo · 26/07/2026 15:35

Never ceases to amaze me what some women will put up with just to have a "man". Good luck, you're going to need it.

Rosegard · 26/07/2026 15:31

So now he has your number, the price of a roast dinner🙄.
Threads like this explain why some women end up where they do.
They never had any standards to begin with.
🤷🏻‍♀️

Over40Overdating · 26/07/2026 15:26

Honestly the posts on here from women who will excuse literally anything just to hold onto a man who has no respect for them never fails to depress me.

You’ll have more posts on here @Heatwavefry. You’ll change your username, some details even so as not to let on it’s not the first time he’s behaved like a pig. What won’t change is the lack of respect that man has for you. And how being appeased by a cheap roast is setting the bar for what he needs to do to get you on side. You are too young to settle for this contempt but you seem determined to pretend you are being tough and setting boundaries. I can hear your bravado in your posts and I know it’s for you more than anyone.
I hope your sensible friend manages to get you to see how much more you are worth than this pig.

DahliaDelights · 26/07/2026 15:23

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

You're letting him know the cost and level of difficulty of disrespecting you, and you're cheap and its easy.

He woke you up, demanded servicing, jizzed on your sofa (your own fault i presume for not sorting him out) and all it's cost him is a roast dinner.

He doesnt need to spend on an expensive taxi home from the night out, all he needs is a £12.95 roast dinner. Bargain.

columnatedruinsdomino · 26/07/2026 15:19

Oh op, have some self-respect. A roast dinner doesn’t cut it in the real world.

Happysummerrain · 26/07/2026 15:12

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

Are you joking? Maybe you deserve your soiled sofa.

JHound · 26/07/2026 15:06

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 11:02

It’s not urine. I’ve just about managed to clean the sofa - he had a half arsed attempt first.

This makes it worse. If he was mortified and endeavoured to clean up properly that’s one thing. But he is an adult man, in a relationship acting like a child.

Edit : Misread.

LoudSnoringDog · 26/07/2026 15:05

Can’t even begin to describe how much this behaviour would completely put me off him.

JHound · 26/07/2026 15:03

You want him “gone” as in out of your life right? Please mean out of your life.

IndigoBluey · 26/07/2026 15:02

I’d be telling him where to stick his paltry offer of meat and two veg 🤭 well done for allowing him to think such disgusting behaviour is acceptable to women

GilmoreGirly86 · 26/07/2026 15:01

OP, you deserve better. Behaving like this over a sustained period of time then 'making up for it' by doing things he should do anyway (booking your favourite place for lunch) is not acceptable. People in relationships should do nice things for each other as standard, not as a reward for putting up with horrific behaviour. I am begging you, please see that you deserve better than this. Even this one instance is enough disrespect to show you who he is and what you will be resigning yourself to if you stay with him. Please, please try to see that. Don't let him doing one semi thoughtful thing as a way to crawl back into your good books distract you from the horrendous way he has treated you, more than once now. You deserve better.

NCForOneNightOnly · 26/07/2026 14:57

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

As long as he isn’t going to ask you to sort him out afterwards. It’s a bit more messy in a Gastropub.

jenny38 · 26/07/2026 14:57

Well long may the efforts continue. You must make your own choices. I would say revisit this thread, if he doesn't maintain better behavior.

PetulaGordeno · 26/07/2026 14:54

This can’t be real surely?

Happyhettie · 26/07/2026 14:48

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

He woke you up to “see to him”. He then wanked on your sofa because you wouldn’t and then did a half arsed attempt to clean it. And apparently doesn’t remember any of it at all. He stays at yours in a complete state regularly. And you were so 😳 you posted on mumsnet about it.

But he’s booked a country pub so that’s ok.

Definitely buy a house with him.

TwoBagsOfCompost · 26/07/2026 14:46

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 12:44

He did leave, not before I read him the riot act and made it clear I won’t stand for any further repeats. Actions will speak louder than words going forward.

Best of luck OP. I’m glad you have a plan. I’d urge you to stick to it if this does happen again. Sadly these things have a way of festering (and getting worse) and from what you’re saying it’s already been going on for quite a while so it wasn’t a bizarre one off. Only you know if the relationship is worth your patience with this. Your partner might be determined to never repeat his disgusting behaviour again, or he might quickly repeat it. Time will tell and I wish you the best of luck and all the strength.

WellThatIsABitMad · 26/07/2026 14:40

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

It’s what they do, the pattern is already established and will continue. This IS your life already with him, it won’t change.

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