Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

562 replies

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

OP posts:
Comtesse · 25/07/2026 08:36

What a prince…

NotAnotherScarf · 25/07/2026 08:35

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

I think one of your friends has a strange sense of humour. Tell her you'll send him round later to jizz on her carpet and see what she says

Bikergran · 25/07/2026 08:35

Well, I'd be dumping him pronto, he sounds utterly disgusting. At the very least, take your keys off him, and tell him he is only welcome at yours when he's sober.

ChirpyTealFox · 25/07/2026 08:35

Bloody disgusting! You should've kicked his arse out there and then

MorphandMindy · 25/07/2026 08:33

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

It might be funny as a one-off. It's not funny when it's a regular occurrence, and once a month for a year is regular. Once in a 5 or 10 year span is probably forgivable, with sufficient grovelling and cleaning (by him).

Imbusytodaysorry · 25/07/2026 08:33

Evaka · 25/07/2026 08:18

Wake him up and calmly tell him it's over and to leave. How dare he use your hard earned home as a doss house and then jizz on your sofa. What a lowlife.

This !

OvernightBloats · 25/07/2026 08:32

Revolting. Make him clear up the mess and then have a think whether you want this man in your life.

MorphandMindy · 25/07/2026 08:32

I think you need to end it. This isn't occasional behaviour anymore, this is a pattern and it will go on for as long as he wants it to.

The only way you get out of it is by taking away your key and refusing to have him over after drinking. Ideally by getting shot of him, but you might need a little while to process that this routine is now part of your relationship and will continue to be for as long as the relationship goes on or DP chooses not to - but he likes it.

The wet patch isn't cum obviously, that wouldn't even fill a teaspoon. He's pissed on your couch. He's going to be much too hungover today to even feel bad about it or apologise. Send him home, take some time to think and speak about it in a couple of days.

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

LakeGeneva1 · 25/07/2026 08:29

What would you advise your best friend, sister, mum if she was in this situation?

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

OP posts:
Thepeopleversuswork · 25/07/2026 08:31

He’s a contemptible oaf of a man. How can you let someone speak to you like that? “Sort him out?”

Ask him to leave your house and never see him again.

LakeGeneva1 · 25/07/2026 08:29

What would you advise your best friend, sister, mum if she was in this situation?

Blueberrybonanza · 25/07/2026 08:28

🤢 take your key off his keyring, wake him up and tell him to go home and then decide if this is what you want in your home, ffs don't marry him

Soulhorse · 25/07/2026 08:28

Soulhorse · 25/07/2026 08:18

So he gets so drunk he pisses himself? Dump.

Apologies, jumped to conclusion, still eww though.

thedogisfine · 25/07/2026 08:27

That’s fucking disgusting.

AgnesX · 25/07/2026 08:26

Why is he even going on the piss and then back to yours instead of his own place anyway?

Pissing on the sofa? Just yuk. Send him home permanently.

Edited to add: just twigged the "sorted himself out". Even more yuk and double the Ditch him.

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:25

cloudtreecarpet · 25/07/2026 08:22

How old is he?
And are you planning to live together?

Having lived with and married (& split from) a man who behaved like this when we were in our 20s but didn't grow out of it for many years, I would say consider whether you want to stay with him long term.

31, we had discussed living with each other in the future.

OP posts:
NotAnotherScarf · 25/07/2026 08:24

That is fucking grim. Do yourself a favour and get shot. I am a bloke who loves a drink and many times over the years I've had too many. But I've never spunked on someone else's sofa...

Peanutlicious · 25/07/2026 08:24

You're worth way more than that

StopGo · 25/07/2026 08:23

Kick him out, end it, bill him for steam/specialist cleaning and the price of a new lock. Actually a replacement sofa wouldn’t be unreasonable.

WhatAMarvelousTune · 25/07/2026 08:23

I am not overreacting here am I?!

In my opinion, you’re underreacting. I’d be ending the relationship. I couldn’t be with someone who had so little respect for me and my home.

Cnidarian · 25/07/2026 08:23

Why is there a male loneliness epidemic- Exhibit A

cloudtreecarpet · 25/07/2026 08:22

How old is he?
And are you planning to live together?

Having lived with and married (& split from) a man who behaved like this when we were in our 20s but didn't grow out of it for many years, I would say consider whether you want to stay with him long term.

Enrichetta · 25/07/2026 08:22

he treats you as a free accommodation provider, with the occasional ‘servicing’ thrown in.

He has no respect for you.

What else do you need to know…

TheWonderhorse · 25/07/2026 08:22

OP I hope you have more self-respect than to ever put up with that again.

He woke you to "see to him?" Jesus wept, what a guy.

Thirteenblackcats · 25/07/2026 08:21

Urghh he’s disgusting. Please never let this disrespectful man move in with you

how dare he! Put a stop to him using your place as a drunken layover as well.

he doesn’t respect you. It will get worse if you allow it