Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

Well she's a fuckwit too. Some women set the bar very low.

Why on earth are you with him?? Get rid or at the very least tell him he has to.go back to his own place when drunk.

ooooohhhhh ffs !!! Why do you even have to come on here and ask ??? Just imagine what your life will be like when you’re living together and he feels even more entitled to piss (or whatever.. yeugh) all over your lovely life ! Get. Rid. Now.

I'm sorry op but he's using your house as a place to go after a night out , he doesn't respect you or your sofa, break up with him .

It’s not a good look to tell anyone who has a different opinion to your that they have low standards, people are allowed to disagree it doesn’t make you any superior to them.

I actually felt a bit sick reading this op. It’s grim stuff and I’m not sure I’d be able to look at him the same again. When he wakes up I’d be telling him exactly what he did and ask him what he intends to do about it (professional clean at the very least). If he is extremely apologetic and wants to fix things and stops going out and acting like a lout then I would maybe try to move past it if he’s an otherwise good partner. If he is in any way dismissive or challenging about it I’d throw him out and that would be the end.

I know I’ve been drunk and done silly things before but this really is vile and he needs to be properly remorseful about it. I have a feeling he’ll be so mortified he might try to laugh it off but we’ll see.

It's not funny though is it? It's your partner and it's your couch covered in what is probably piss.
Add to this that he is 31, not 21, and it's a regular occurrence.
I bet that if you move in together it will become an even more regular occurrence.

If you haven't spoken to him really clearly about this then you need to now. You need to tell him that you don't like it, that you find it disrespectful and tell him how his asking you to "sort him out" makes you feel.
Then tell him your relationship has to end if this behaviour continues.

He then has a chance to grow up & change. If he doesn't and he repeats this behaviour, then you will know he doesn't love and respect you enough or has a drink problem - neither of which is great for the future.

However, if you have told him all this already I think you need to end it with him now.

My XH did that. Once.

This sort of thing really does depend on the nuance. If you’re thinking of committing to him long term ask yourself for example …. Is he aggressive with his behaviour when drunk? If you told him he wasn’t to come back to yours after the pub again, would he listen? Does he apologise afterwards and feel mortified? Will he be cleaning the sofa voluntarily? Does he try to pressure you onto sex when you’re not up for it?

in my view the answers to those questions are what you need to ponder on, not whether you’re unreasonable to be annoyed. This sort of stuff is a good opportunity to see who someone really is and to identify attitudes or behaviours that 100% will only get worse in the long term if they’re there already.

Please get some self respect and bin this man. He doesn’t sound like a catch. I’d rather be alone than with someone who behaves like a drunken oaf once a month. Please do not have children with this man.

Just because your self respect and standards are low doesn’t mean people who are calling this out are being ridiculous. Ridiculous would be accepting and minimising piggish behaviour

I would not be seeing this person in any shape or form again.

Step 1. Change locks.
step 2. Call him and say you’re finished.
step 3. Enjoy life

this guy is a total loser. who behaves like that? grim. get rid of this twat

Quite.

@Heatwavefry - if you stay with this pathetic, selfish loser, this will be your life.

This man is absolutely disgusting and has no respect for you.

Dump him.

Yeah massive wet patch sounds like he’s pissed himself.

He sounds revolting and I would throw him back.

Obviously a bit rude and thoughtless of him, and binge drinking and related behaviours arent nice or attractive. Should slow down as you get older, no worsen.

But having a wank and getting it on the sofa really doesn't seem that serious to me. People saying 'dump him' are being ridiculous. Tell him you find it rude and thoughtless to ejaculate on the sof

Imagine him doing this when you have kids.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

It would have been at this point the relationship ended for me. Wake him up, take his key and send him on his way. If you continue this relationship this will be your life going forward.

The OP said “massive wet patch”. Unless he cums like an elephant, he pissed himself.

Find his keys and take them off him.

@Heatwavefry so out loads of women “one friend “ thinks this is ok .
what do you think and how do you feel?
I think you know the answer or you wouldn’t be posting here . This isn’t your friends relationship. I think you want better for yourself .

Exactly. Either she has the standards of a pigsty or she’s one of those people who think things are hilarious - until they happen to them.

I agree that dementia wouldn’t probably fill a teaspoon. It doesn’t mean sound as though he has got so drunk that he’s pissed on your sofa. Both are unforgivable.

Your DF who thinks that this is all an hilarious jape isn’t putting the prices together here. He has a drink problem and a lack of respect for you problem. Neither of which he seems interested in addressing.

If you do live together in the future it will be joint money that he’s pissing away.

Absolutely not. Bag up any of his stuff that's at your house. Dump it outside and text him that he needs to collect it. Lock your doors and block the loser. I wouldn't give him the chance to try to apologise etc, he's a disgusting pig and it's not going to get better.