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Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

562 replies

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

OP posts:
Daisymail · 25/07/2026 09:28

He's disgusting, how could you be attracted to someone like that.

Holdinguphalfthesky · 25/07/2026 09:27

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

It’s not funny, it’s disgusting. Please don’t move in with him, you’ll live on eggshells waiting for the next episode.

FWIW my neighbour rented her place to a bloke whose partner she knows in exchange for doing it up. he was going to do some useful work for her while working through his depression and still enjoying family time with his two young kids.
Instead, he used it as a dosshouse for his alcoholic binges. He’s come back this week to collect his stuff (having abandoned it for about six months) and despite being there all week he’s removed about three items. He must be over 40 but continues to live as if he were 19. Men like this won’t change, especially if they never have to deal with any real consequences of their behaviour because the women in their lives just keep on mopping up after them (both literally and metaphorically).

daisychain01 · 25/07/2026 09:27

Oh honestly, surely you don't need us to tell you he's gross and you shouldn't let him use you for free convenient accommodation just because it's nearer for him to get hammered.

he sounds vile, ditch him and raise your bar.

Speakeasier · 25/07/2026 09:26

PatchworkCow · 25/07/2026 09:23

Nah it's cum. Imagine what a sofa looks like when you've dropped an entire cup of tea on it, then consider the size of a grown man's bladder compared to a cup of tea. If it's not saturated the sofa and all over him/the floor too, it's cum.

Does it matter? Both are completely disrespectful. I’ve been ill in my life over the years. I’ve been very drunk in my life over the years. But I’ve never pissed or masturbated on anyone’s sofa. It’s not really an accomplishment it’s being a decent human being.

Wetcoatsandmudagain · 25/07/2026 09:26

My ex partners friend was like this. Never believed it when you told him as couldn’t remember. He came back to ours one night and I filmed him on my phone and sent it to him when he was sober. Needless to say he was so embarrassed it never happened again.

PatchworkCow · 25/07/2026 09:23

Deadleaves77 · 25/07/2026 09:08

Also I do feel that cum and piss would show up quite differently on a sofa, a massive wet patch is surely piss?

Did he do it to punish you because you wouldn't "sort him out"?

Nah it's cum. Imagine what a sofa looks like when you've dropped an entire cup of tea on it, then consider the size of a grown man's bladder compared to a cup of tea. If it's not saturated the sofa and all over him/the floor too, it's cum.

UninitendedShark · 25/07/2026 09:21

Get rid of this wankstain on your sofa. Sorry, meant to say wankstains plural.

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 25/07/2026 09:20

Evaka · 25/07/2026 08:18

Wake him up and calmly tell him it's over and to leave. How dare he use your hard earned home as a doss house and then jizz on your sofa. What a lowlife.

Exactly.
Unless there’s a genuine emergency, i can’t be woken up suddenly like that.
I’ve got epilepsy, and it would make me doolally.

He wouldn’t be allowed to treat me, and my house like that twice.
It’s the lack of respect that would really make me bristle.
For me that’s a little trip to Break-up City.

user67392097643 · 25/07/2026 09:19

Good grief…the only way I’d ever consider this relationship continuing is if he agrees to go T-total. Otherwise, kick him out and change the locks. You don’t deserve this OP.

Spacedsunshine1 · 25/07/2026 09:18

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

"Quite funny"?? Blimey, it really isn't.

MagicThanks · 25/07/2026 09:18

If you were married or cohabiting, had kids etc I would feel really sorry for you. But this is so easy - do not come near MY home when you’re drunk because you behave like an animal. How is it even a question?

Spacedsunshine1 · 25/07/2026 09:17

Honestly, this would be the end for me. Just grim. I could not stay with him

MagicThanks · 25/07/2026 09:16

What did I just read?!
Why do you let him in your home drunk?!

YorkshireGoldie · 25/07/2026 09:14

This is awful. Can only assume D in DP stands for disgusting, disrespectful, dick head, dirty

you deserve better, get rid

Sereine · 25/07/2026 09:11

Have you woken him and thrown him out yet, OP?

HGHGHG · 25/07/2026 09:08

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

The poster didnt ask what would your friends say - they asked what would YOU advise a friend.

Once you are really honest with yourself, you will have your answer

Deadleaves77 · 25/07/2026 09:08

Also I do feel that cum and piss would show up quite differently on a sofa, a massive wet patch is surely piss?

Did he do it to punish you because you wouldn't "sort him out"?

TheTikiTurnip · 25/07/2026 09:06

As others have said, take his key and get shot of him.

I lived with someone like this. Don't make that mistake - their drunk behaviour becomes increasingly worse. Just because its only once a month doesn't make it ok, you will be treading on eggshells waiting for the next time, and wondering what hes going to do.

Get shot of him now, he has no respect for you, or your property.

peachie82 · 25/07/2026 09:06

Vile disgusting pig. Dump him, you deserve better.

arethereanyleftatall · 25/07/2026 09:06

Who knows @PatchworkCow. There’s so so many women who think this is what their worth is.

DierdreDaphne · 25/07/2026 09:06

Johnson85 · 25/07/2026 08:39

Obviously a bit rude and thoughtless of him, and binge drinking and related behaviours arent nice or attractive. Should slow down as you get older, no worsen.

But having a wank and getting it on the sofa really doesn't seem that serious to me. People saying 'dump him' are being ridiculous. Tell him you find it rude and thoughtless to ejaculate on the sof

What a strange thing to say. Excessive drinking and disrespect of a partner can indeed get worse, this man isn't 19.

Deadleaves77 · 25/07/2026 09:06

There is no way I'd continue to date a man who wanked/pissed all over my sofa. Its your flat and he's coming over and treating it like this! Absolutely insane

This is how he acts when it's not even his stuff, imagine how he will behave when he actually lives there! LTW

Tel12 · 25/07/2026 09:05

How desperate would anyone have to be to put up with this sort of behaviour?

jeaux90 · 25/07/2026 09:05

Too many issues here to make this excusable. He woke you up. He asked you to have sex with him and woke you up purposely for that reason. He jizzed on your sofa. He was so pissed he had no sense of your boundaries. Would absolutely not stay with this man.

superspideysense · 25/07/2026 09:05

Disgusting. Get rid of him.

the wet patch is bad enough but I would of chucked out at “sort me out”.