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Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

562 replies

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

OP posts:
Shadesofscarlett · 25/07/2026 09:46

so he is using you for somewhere to stay after getting drunk. God knows why you are putting up with this. I hope he is gone now - and i hope he cleaned the sofa. Just yuck, how grim.

bryceQ · 25/07/2026 09:46

Don't be with someone who drinks like this. Unless he seeks real and sincere change.

StandFirm · 25/07/2026 09:43

.

coolcahuna · 25/07/2026 09:43

Urgh no, that's over. Kick him out for good!

SummerDive · 25/07/2026 09:42

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

It doesn’t matter if he is horrified when he wakes up.
What matters is whether his behaviour changes. And the repeat performances that just get worse and worse shows he hasn’t.

At the very least, he shouldn’t put his feet in your house when coming back from going out and getting pissed.

As for getting married, if you’re happy this will be your life ….. I’m guessing it’s not

Slightyamusedandsilly · 25/07/2026 09:42

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

If this is just who he is, he isn't marriage material.

If this is him being an immature and drunken oaf, reading him the riot act, chucking him out today, banning him from staying after nights out and threatening to dump him MIGHT help him shape up. But I wouldn't bet on it. It's rank.

columnatedruinsdomino · 25/07/2026 09:41

Hopefully op is standing over him watching him clean up the sofa then ditches him.
‘Sort me out’. Where do these princes get their lordly expectations from?

AnonyMumAuDHD · 25/07/2026 09:40

Permanent ick as far as I am concerned - he is showing utter lack of respect for you through his behaviour and the way he treats your home. Kick him out and end things. Men only behave like this because women consistently allow them to. Don’t be one of those women. You deserve better.

Icecreamisthebest · 25/07/2026 09:39

Ew. A decent guy, going out with his mates for the evening, would plan to go home to their own home afterwards so he doesn’t disturb his GF at night and being a hungover wreck expecting to be looked after the next day.

This sounds like a regular occurrence. Is this what you want your life to look like ?

AlwaysExtraHot · 25/07/2026 09:39

I mean, as soon as I read that he stays with you because you live nearer the pubs I had an inkling that he was going to be a twat.
Waking you and asking to be ‘seen to’ 🤢 is not respectful behaviour. I don’t even know what to say about him ‘sorting himself out’ on your sofa.
Bin him.
After he’s given you the money for a sofa clean or a new one.

Victorius19 · 25/07/2026 09:38

The friend that finds this funny can come and clean it up for you, yes? Wonder if she'd find it quite as funny then....

Honestly OP, men like this won't ever change. And you're very silly to have even let him into the house knowing he was this drunk. And today will be a write off because of his hangover.... raise your bar.

IronEverything · 25/07/2026 09:37

He's using your home as a doss house. Are you okay with that?

And he owes you a new sofa obviously.

Cosyblankets · 25/07/2026 09:37

Euww
No words!
Get your key off him and send him packing

Anyahyacinth · 25/07/2026 09:35

Cnidarian · 25/07/2026 08:23

Why is there a male loneliness epidemic- Exhibit A

They aren't lonely because the love they seek is with each other...they are just annoyed they can't demand sexual access to women's bodies at will...see for example this dirty protestor specimen

allthingsinmoderation · 25/07/2026 09:34

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

From what you have described about his behaviour has been very disrespectful to the point of revulsion by anyones standards, so you are not being unreasonable or over reacting to be appalled.
Having said that, how he behaves now may be relevant.
Is he mortified in the sober light of day?
Is he apologetic ?
Has he promised nothing like that will ever happen again ?
Has he cleaned the sofa?
Also is this a one off or a pattern of behaviour?

WhisperingHi · 25/07/2026 09:33

Your friend who is defending it hasnt had to wake up to clean dry cum off their sofa. They also probably don’t truly care if you stay together or not. Ignore them.

Youre 31. If you want kids, leave him. You have limited time and I wouldn’t be wasting another minute on this immature excuse of a man. Hed likely be a crap dad anyway by the sounds of it.

Find a proper man who treats you right.

Papster · 25/07/2026 09:33

Who are the 2%
Baffled
Bin him.
Hes in his 30’s ffs
if you got married would you want him wanking on the sofa for kids to find?

Crunchymum · 25/07/2026 09:33

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

Well one of your friends has incredibly low standards!

Seriously, I'm concerned you even had to ask the question.

You say this is just the most recent incident @Heatwavefry ?

Wake him, get him out of your home and don't ever see him again.

Tinkalinkalink · 25/07/2026 09:32

I'm equally concerned about the standards your friend has. Funny?? Mortified when he wakes?? A man with a drink problem feeling entitled for sexual relief from his partner who then either ejaculates or urinates on a sofa? Come on, raise the bar.

Purplebunnie · 25/07/2026 09:30

Oh my goodness. I'm sorry I couldn't be with a man who just asks to be seen to in cold blood. Where is his respect for you. You're not an android. He'd be gone for that alone apart from the drunkenness and then the "sorting" himself out and messing up the sofa. Where I ask you is the attraction to that?

MyDeftDuck · 25/07/2026 09:29

Change the locks and don’t tell him. The next time he goes on a wild piss up he’ll be sleeping in the doorway……serve him right if some drunken slob pisses on him!

DanaScullysLegoHair · 25/07/2026 09:29

He is a dirty tramp. None of this is remotely funny (is your friend OK?) He has zero respect for you and your home.

Delphiniumandlupins · 25/07/2026 09:29

I'm not sure that it matters what has caused the wet sofa. Unless he has spilt a glass of water it's disgusting.

TwoBagsOfCompost · 25/07/2026 09:29

I hate being that person but hey it’s an anonymous forum.

Honestly if you have to start a thread and ask this, and wonder if you’re unreasonable, then I almost despair. Is it manipulation and gaslighting? Or is it lack of critical thinking? I’m really sorry, I really do hate being that person, but honestly do you seriously have to ask whether an ever worsening drinking problem and associated grim behaviour is ok in a partner?

Having a friend who found it amusing is utterly bizarre and a more cynical person than me could make some assumptions.

What’s happening, sometimes I wonder if we all live in a simulation.

principalskinna · 25/07/2026 09:28

He's literally a wanker