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Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

562 replies

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

OP posts:
grumpygrape · 25/07/2026 10:09

PatchworkCow · 25/07/2026 08:59

It's you again, isn't it, OP? The one with the utter cunt of a partner who's already done all kinds of utterly disrespectful stuff that's shows he DGAF at all about you. Why are you still with him, where's your respect for yourself to continue letting him treat you like this? Go through his pockets/wallet, take any cash towards sofa cleaning/new sofa preferably if there's enough (he can have the spunky one, disgusting cretin). Don't bother with the row, just don't mention it and let him think he spent it whilst drinking. Then block him! I don't care even if you're pig ugly with the personality of a dead worm, you can still do better than him OP.

Don't give him chances to change. He doesn't need changes to change. You don't want a project, you want a MAN, a fully formed adult with a basic respect for his own species. If that's not what he is now at his age, he's never going to be it. Don't get caught in the cycle of endless "second chances". A second chance only comes once, after that it's just a pattern of him disrespecting you and you accepting it.

Edited

Ah, OP is a regular poster then?

I know it takes living together partners multiple times to leave but these two don't even live together, except when he wants a doss house with benefits it seems.

ValcoServesYOuRight · 25/07/2026 10:09

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

Nothing remotely funny about any of it! Dump him and the friend with the low bar.

WestwardHo1 · 25/07/2026 10:07

Renamedyetagain · 25/07/2026 10:01

If you've an ounce of self respect tell him to fuck off. There are better men out there.

Not many, but being single is vastly better than being with someone described in the OP.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 25/07/2026 10:06

I wouldn’t care if he’s mortified when he wakes, he’d be history. If you lived together, he’d get worse.

WestwardHo1 · 25/07/2026 10:05

Fucking rank.

msmillicentcat · 25/07/2026 10:04

God no sorry this would give me the ick and I’d have to get rid.
If not, he would be banned from coming to my place after he had been out drinking. Door locked and phone off next time!

PrettyLittleRose · 25/07/2026 10:02

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

You need better friends. If they think how your partner is behaving is 'funny' they are idiots. His behaviour is appalling, listen to the posters on here, many have been through a lot of shit - and especially shit with men who have been duds, idiots, arseholes, and cunts. Myself included.

I know a few women who have had men like yours, and have stuck with him, and they have had a miserable life, for some years, before they had the courage - and the sense to end it with him.

You are extremely foolish if you stay with this 'man' @Heatwavefry You KNOW it's wrong (how he is behaving!) and you KNOW you should not be tolerating it. You wouldn't have posted on here otherwise. Imagine if you have children with him, and he continues to behave like this. SHUDDER!

He won't change. Men like this don't. He's in his 30s now. He should have grown out of this 18-19 year old 'immature pisshead who can't control his drink' behaviour.

.

Ponderingwindow · 25/07/2026 10:02

I was so disappointed to see you are in the stage of life where this might become a forever relationship. From experience I have to warn you that men don’t grow out of it. If they are behaving like this now, do not presume that when they settle down they will stop this behavior. I’ve been there and so have many others. This will be your life if you proceed with the relationship. If you want to be a parent someday, this will be the type of experience your children have.

Renamedyetagain · 25/07/2026 10:01

If you've an ounce of self respect tell him to fuck off. There are better men out there.

Marycontrarygarden · 25/07/2026 10:00

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

One of your friends has standards and the other doesn't.

Mygardenshedisfallingdown · 25/07/2026 09:58

Just be thankful you don't live with this moron OP. He is easily dumped.
'Sort him out' WTA? Drunk or not that's grim.

Worldcuproadshow · 25/07/2026 09:56

Dump him and charge him for a new sofa, I would have sent the damaged sofa to his house. He can keep it as a reminder of his drunken performance.

Why do you want to be in a relationship with a neanderthal like that?

Gemilo · 25/07/2026 09:55

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

I wonder if your friend would find it quite so funny if it happened to her.

ShutupLwren · 25/07/2026 09:55

Cnidarian · 25/07/2026 08:23

Why is there a male loneliness epidemic- Exhibit A

This fucker isn’t lonely enough

Bloodysauce · 25/07/2026 09:55

Marriage?😱.Dont. Just don't

grumpygrape · 25/07/2026 09:55

ExplodingSmittens · 25/07/2026 08:37

I agree that dementia wouldn’t probably fill a teaspoon. It doesn’t mean sound as though he has got so drunk that he’s pissed on your sofa. Both are unforgivable.

Your DF who thinks that this is all an hilarious jape isn’t putting the prices together here. He has a drink problem and a lack of respect for you problem. Neither of which he seems interested in addressing.

If you do live together in the future it will be joint money that he’s pissing away.

Sorry Smittens, I need to know what 'dementia' was an auto correct for.....please 😂

Bringemout · 25/07/2026 09:54

Just get rid unless you want this to be your future.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 25/07/2026 09:53

Ah yes, as others have said. He pays the cleaning bill.

19lottie82 · 25/07/2026 09:53

Ewww do not move in with this guy.

I’ve been with my DP 4 years and he has his own place but stays at mine most of the time.
He likes to go for a drink with his mates once a fortnight or so. I tell him to stay at his own place because he’s a PITA after a few pints, nothing bad, just repeating himself, talking in his sleep ect. I can’t be arsed with the hassle!!

Pinkchickenwine · 25/07/2026 09:52

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

The other is not a friend!

Bloodysauce · 25/07/2026 09:51

That is not a partner. That is a drunken slob, who has no regard for you other than to keep you on hand as a free place to sleep. Lose him. Trade him in. Today. Have some self respect. If you allow people to treat you like this, how will your life ever improve?

WinterBlues26 · 25/07/2026 09:51

I agree with the majority. Take your key off him, wake him up, kick him out, and tell him by text it's over.

What a horrible disrespectful specimen of a human being.

Optimisticdramalarma · 25/07/2026 09:49

This was my ex

He would come round plastered and piss (cos let's face it,a 'massive amount' isn't cum) in my house

At first I got a vague 'sorry' but soon enough I got 'what is the fucking problem?you where going to clean it anyway' and 'what's the fucking problem?'

Me not wanting to sleep on a pissy mattress (just flip it over') or a wet stain on my carpet ('it needed cleaning anyway') was me being 'picky'

Being much younger,a massive lack of self respect,both sets of our familes saying it was my fault (my mother is a narc and his mummy thought he could do no wrong) and no mumsnet to kick my arse,I allowed this to go on for much longer than I should have

Sober he was the nicest bloke ever

Pissed he was Satan

I finally got rid (all my fault for not shutting up and putting up) and I'm now with a bloke who wouldn't dream of doing this

This is his true self,he has no respect for you,mine didn't and it took a house full of man piss for me to see it

dayslikethese1 · 25/07/2026 09:47

He should have been cleaning up first thing and apologising profusely to you but something tells me that isn't the case.

workitoutt · 25/07/2026 09:46

Rank. I would dump him immediately.

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