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Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

562 replies

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

OP posts:
Over40Overdating · 25/07/2026 10:40

@flobo3 your lack of self awareness and hypocrisy is hilarious!

MNLurker1345 · 25/07/2026 10:39

Has he gone yet? Eject this oaf from your house and your life, now!

I once saw a response on MN about a similarly disgusting man, that summed it up, the PP wrote “he is a stinking, dirty, disgusting pig”. When you look at it from that perspective, it’s time to dump!

Blanketyblank04 · 25/07/2026 10:39

OMG you actually had to ask us!!? That is disgusting

OneNewLeader · 25/07/2026 10:39

Your ex DP did this.

NameChangeAgain48 · 25/07/2026 10:38

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:25

31, we had discussed living with each other in the future.

Fuck that

Vomit Barf GIF
WhistPie · 25/07/2026 10:35

You must be bloody desperate if you're considering staying with him.

Raise your standards out of the gutter.

Chewbecca · 25/07/2026 10:35

You're not overreacting, no.

But I would simply say he has to go back to his own place when he's been on a big night out.

Whether you, long term, want to put up with the big nights out or not is something only you can say. I know when I was 30ish, it wasn't unusual for me to get totally drunk and misbehave somewhat so it's not a massive issue for me but I totally understand it is for others who don't also enjoy this occasionally!

Duvetdayneeded · 25/07/2026 10:33

Have some standards and dump him and tell your friend who thinks it is funny that she’s a stupid twat.

toottoot3 · 25/07/2026 10:33

I suppose he could be mortified and still throughly clean the couch? With proper care and cleaning materials not just rub it with a cushion? He's been pretty disrespectful but it's how he deals with it today. Is it your fault cause you didn't "help" him? Is he laughing it off and no thought to properly clean (not you doing it later cause he doesn't care to do a good job)
If your made to feel anything but apologied too your getting a clear picture how your going to get treated forever. Maybe let him get taxis home for a bit before he gains free bed and access to your house when in such a state

IdentifyingAsAWoollyMammoth · 25/07/2026 10:32

I don't understand why someone needs to ask if they're overreacting to this.

He'd be gone. And I don't just mean from my flat but my entire life.

Sereine · 25/07/2026 10:31

I'm hoping OP is quiet because she is busy supervising his cleaning and packing his stuff up in order to throw him out.

Hankunamatata · 25/07/2026 10:30

Change locks. He doesnt get a key anymore. He wants to be a druken twat then he can do it as his house. Suprosed u didn't tell.him this first time he did it

Topseyt123 · 25/07/2026 10:29

Disgusting. Are you sure that the "massive wet patch" isn't urine, perhaps in addition to anything else?

Take his door key off his keyring, wake him up and throw him out. Personally, I'd also be telling him that the relationship was over.

Certainly don't move in with him or get married to him unless you want to spend your life cleaning up after this sort of shit.

getupdostuffgotobed · 25/07/2026 10:28

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:25

31, we had discussed living with each other in the future.

A short conversation?

A conversation that included the words and phrases.... 'No' and 'Hell freezing over'?

Bristolandlazy · 25/07/2026 10:27

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

Your friend has an interesting sense of humour. It's not funny in reality. He's an idiot.

DelphiniumBlue · 25/07/2026 10:21

Revolting. Dump him. I’d say just don’t let him in, but actually it sounds like he has a drinking problem, which is why I’d be dumping him.

PrettyLittleRose · 25/07/2026 10:21

@KrazyKatty When I was young - under 25 - I also used to know women who were married for 45-50 years to a man like this, pissed as a fart half the time, groping her, groping any young female in striking distance, throwing up over everything, and pissing himself - and worse now and again. These women didn't have as many options in those days, and they stayed. When he died it was the happiest day of her life since the birth of her children and grandchildren. Women do have many options today! The OP doesn't even live with this guy, or have any ties to him. She needs to dump his repugnant ass!

.

Sausagemagoo · 25/07/2026 10:19

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:25

31, we had discussed living with each other in the future.

Do not contemplate living with and having children with this man. It will get infinitely worse and you’ll be on here in 10 years complaining he doesn’t do anything around the house and is still coming home pissed and wanking all over soft furnishings with children in the house and you’ll be trapped.

SockPlant · 25/07/2026 10:19

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:25

31, we had discussed living with each other in the future.

bin him off. At the very least take away your key so he can't in.

Why are you putting up with this?

LogicVoid · 25/07/2026 10:17

Get rid. If it has cost you a new sofa, then it is a cheaper price (financially and emotionally) to pay than being a few years down the line, financially entwined and possibly with children. This behaviour is a bloody great red flag about his basic character.

PrettyLittleRose · 25/07/2026 10:17

@Heatwavefry I see one of your 2 friends said his behaviour is funny, I read it as both sorry. I think you need to give the one friend a wide berth who finds him funny!

KrazyKatty · 25/07/2026 10:16

My dad used to occasionally piss the bed after being too drunk to get up and go to the toilet. My mum put up with him for years and was only properly happy after he’d died!!!

I made it a rule to never be friends with anyone who views drinking to excess as a fun activity. It’s not and they’re delusional at best.

Dump him and find yourself a better friend too. The other friend is grand. 👌

User1839423790 · 25/07/2026 10:15

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:31

I’ve had two close friends give opposing views this morning already. One mirrors many replies here, the other says if it’s quite funny and he will be mortified when he wakes..

It’s not funny, it’s disrespectful, immature and pathetic. I’d be telling him he isn’t staying again and if you don’t see an enormous change in his behaviour you’re finished.

PrettyLittleRose · 25/07/2026 10:14

grumpygrape · 25/07/2026 10:09

Ah, OP is a regular poster then?

I know it takes living together partners multiple times to leave but these two don't even live together, except when he wants a doss house with benefits it seems.

Exactly. It's much easier to dump a man when you're not married, not got kids together, don't live together. Why are you with person @Heatwavefry ? You don't need to stay with him!

Raise your bar PLEASE. You deserve better. As has been said, being in a good relationship is wonderful, and can be very fulfilling. And being single can be wonderful and very fulfilling.. Being in a bad relationship is WAY worse than being single.

What, exactly, are you getting out of this relationship?

TheTikiTurnip · 25/07/2026 10:12

TwoBagsOfCompost · 25/07/2026 09:29

I hate being that person but hey it’s an anonymous forum.

Honestly if you have to start a thread and ask this, and wonder if you’re unreasonable, then I almost despair. Is it manipulation and gaslighting? Or is it lack of critical thinking? I’m really sorry, I really do hate being that person, but honestly do you seriously have to ask whether an ever worsening drinking problem and associated grim behaviour is ok in a partner?

Having a friend who found it amusing is utterly bizarre and a more cynical person than me could make some assumptions.

What’s happening, sometimes I wonder if we all live in a simulation.

Maybe she does have to ask.

Maybe she was brought up in an abusive family system, the fallout of which could be low self esteem and difficulty gauging what's 'normal'?

Or not, we dont know.

Maybe dont judge. She's come here for advice.

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