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Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

562 replies

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 25/07/2026 13:11

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:25

31, we had discussed living with each other in the future.

Don't!

PrayForPlagues · 25/07/2026 13:09

Cherrytree86 · 25/07/2026 12:41

@Heatwavefry

what does he mean he sorted himself out?

and if it’s not urine, what is it?

Oh, sweet summer child.

SmolTiny · 25/07/2026 13:06

You should break up with him.
Simple.

LakieLady · 25/07/2026 13:04

TheWonderhorse · 25/07/2026 08:22

OP I hope you have more self-respect than to ever put up with that again.

He woke you to "see to him?" Jesus wept, what a guy.

That alone would have killed any regard I had for him stone dead, long before the spunking on the sofa.

fluffiphlox · 25/07/2026 12:47

He sounds awful. Get shot of him.

whippersnapper55 · 25/07/2026 12:43

Why on earth would you put up with this behaviour from anyone??

Cherrytree86 · 25/07/2026 12:41

@Heatwavefry

what does he mean he sorted himself out?

and if it’s not urine, what is it?

VickyEadie · 25/07/2026 12:34

Meteorite87 · 25/07/2026 11:39

If this had been a one off, he'd be in "last chance saloon" with me.

How can you tolerate that every month @Heatwavefry ? You deserve so much better.

You would actually give him another chance? Even though this isn't the first time?

NameChangeAgain48 · 25/07/2026 12:33

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 10:41

He hasn’t left yet, he is grovelling and claims he had a memory black out and doesn’t remember coming home or what happened in the night. I’ve told him he has an hour to leave.

Bill him for the wank stain on your sofa.

VickyEadie · 25/07/2026 12:33

IdentifyingAsAWoollyMammoth · 25/07/2026 10:32

I don't understand why someone needs to ask if they're overreacting to this.

He'd be gone. And I don't just mean from my flat but my entire life.

Absolutely. OP, when a man you don't even live with treats you like this, be very happy that all you have to do is dump him and never see him again.

Because when when show you who they are this soon, they will not be better if the relationship continues.

FloofyKat · 25/07/2026 12:32

If he was an immature 20 year old, this sort of behaviour would be bad enough. But I’d still be telling him to sling his hook as I couldn’t be doing with such selfish behaviour As it is, he is supposedly a mature adult who has no self-control or self-awareness. I’d be telling him to go away and grow up!

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 25/07/2026 12:23

So he has selective amnesia and he couldn’t even be arsed to properly clean up his own mess. What a prince.

Please get rid of him, he has shown you that he has no respect for you or your home. This is your life now for as long as you allow it to be.

Imagine waking up this morning to a man who brings you coffee in bed and asks what you want to do today. You go downstairs and he’s put a load of laundry on and the kitchen is clean. You spend the day visiting somewhere nice, he picks up a little something for you that he knows you’d love. You know, just a decent kind man who actually likes you.

Or you walk downstairs to all of the above because you’ve done it yourself and no slobby manchild has come in during the night and vomited on your carpet or pissed in your drawers, or dropped crumbs all over your counters.

Or imagine this - last night and this morning - is how your Saturdays look at least once a month, probably more often as he gets older and more out of control. Cleaning up the bodily excretions of a hungover manchild.

You can choose.

jenny38 · 25/07/2026 12:22

Hi Op, what has he actually said this morning? Has he offered to have the sofa cleaned? I think this is a tricky one, many of us have been guilty of having a few too many drinks and saying/ doing things we wouldn't otherwise.
However its the pattern that's an issue. Interested to know how he views this, in the cold light of day. Minus the hangover. I think this would give insight as to how to move forward.

outerspacepotato · 25/07/2026 12:21

Time to end it.

You're with a man with an alcohol problem and who doesn't respect you and your home. How do you think this will work out if you let such shitty behaviour slide? It's already becoming his new normal.

He got so drunk he came to your place and woke you up, expected you to have sex with him and when you didn't, he ejaculated on your sofa. He claims he was blackout drunk. Right there, you've got two giant red flags, he's got an alcohol issue and if you don't have sex on demand, he ruins something of yours.

I'd be done. I don't date men with alcohol or substance abuse issues, I grew up with those in the family and it's no way to live. The sofa destruction, just grotesque behaviour. What a disgusting man. I also don't date disrespectful men. This guy is bad news any way you look at it. Send him a bill for a new sofa and break up with him, he's an asshole any way you look at it.

Itiswhysofew · 25/07/2026 12:18

He doesn't respect you, I'm afraid. I think if he did, he wouldn't want you to witness him in such a drunken state, nor would he expect you to tolerate his behaviour whilst smashed.

TheTikiTurnip · 25/07/2026 12:12

PollyBell · 25/07/2026 11:47

Why are you so desperate?

Maybe i am breaking some mn code but just why?

Assuming you're asking a genuine question, and not just to kick the OP while shes going through a difficult situation, I'll break it down for you:

Usually it boils down to low self esteem, and not knowing your own worth.

Often the result of being brought up in a dysfunctional family system.

Its not desperation, its putting up with far too much for far too long, because that is what you have been brought up to do.

EmailsaysOOO · 25/07/2026 12:08

🤢 grim

AstonCanKissMyArse · 25/07/2026 12:07

Thepeopleversuswork · 25/07/2026 12:02

Its less having the wank itself its a) asking his partner to “sort him out” ad if she were s sex worker and b) failing to clean up after himself.

It suggests a person with no concept that his partner has any independent identity and no respect for her.

Absolutely this! Its not the wank in and of itself, it's the utter disrespect of failing to clean up, getting semen everywhere and treating the OP like his personal hooker.

If it was urine, the same would apply: of course having a wee isn't the problem - having a wee on the sofa and not cleaning it up, is!

Utter disrespect for her, her time, her property and her home.

AstonCanKissMyArse · 25/07/2026 12:03

Please tell us you've dumped this revolting specimen.

You deserve so much more. He won't change.

I can't understand why your friend thinks this is in any way funny, unless their partner is also this grim?

The waking you up to sort him out is vile.

Thepeopleversuswork · 25/07/2026 12:02

Johnson85 · 25/07/2026 08:39

Obviously a bit rude and thoughtless of him, and binge drinking and related behaviours arent nice or attractive. Should slow down as you get older, no worsen.

But having a wank and getting it on the sofa really doesn't seem that serious to me. People saying 'dump him' are being ridiculous. Tell him you find it rude and thoughtless to ejaculate on the sof

Its less having the wank itself its a) asking his partner to “sort him out” ad if she were s sex worker and b) failing to clean up after himself.

It suggests a person with no concept that his partner has any independent identity and no respect for her.

FierceForester90 · 25/07/2026 12:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I think OP probabaly has enough going on this morning without your 'observation' 🙄

EarthSight · 25/07/2026 12:01

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:25

31, we had discussed living with each other in the future.

Oh God. Run now.

LondonPapa · 25/07/2026 11:59

Soulhorse · 25/07/2026 08:18

So he gets so drunk he pisses himself? Dump.

More like gets drunk and has a cheeky tug. Absolutely vile though and I say this as a guy. 100% dump him OP!

Glittertwins · 25/07/2026 11:59

rainbowstardrops · 25/07/2026 11:47

At the very least, I’d make it clear that he’s not allowed to come back to yours when he’s been drinking. Personally, I’d find a 31 year old man regularly going out and getting drunk to the point that he supposedly can’t remember, a complete turn off. He’s not 18!

I wouldn’t accept an 18 yr old getting home in that kind of state either to be honest.

RubberyChicken · 25/07/2026 11:58

Semen is such a persistent stain

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