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Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

562 replies

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

OP posts:
SpaceAngel1999 · 25/07/2026 14:26

This is utterly grim

daisychain01 · 25/07/2026 14:23

Dappy777 · 25/07/2026 14:03

I’m sure it IS real. Plenty of men are just like this. Makes me so glad I’m single!!

It isn't the disbelief that this lowlife would behave like this, it's that the OP would put up with it and not do something about it ie get rid.

MrsVBS · 25/07/2026 14:15

Do you even need to ask if you’re being unreasonable. No one in their right mind would put up with this, get rid!

Twilight7777 · 25/07/2026 14:11

I had an ex boyfriend shit himself after drinking, some of it leaked on my sofa. That was the end of the relationship funnily enough. He was an alcoholic.

Daleksatemyshed · 25/07/2026 14:08

He's 31 and he still drinks like a 19 yo, thinks it's a good night when he comes home that drunk. I'm sure if you try you can find a man who behaves like an actual adult Op

Dappy777 · 25/07/2026 14:03

Bristolandlazy · 25/07/2026 08:20

This post can't be real, seriously? Why would you even ask that, of course it's not acceptable. If it's true it's easily avoided. Dump him or at very least don't allow him to stay with you after drinking.

I’m sure it IS real. Plenty of men are just like this. Makes me so glad I’m single!!

HeyThereDelila · 25/07/2026 14:00

Dump him immediately!! Do not take him back.

Scout2016 · 25/07/2026 13:59

Tell your friend who thinks it's funny that she's welcome to him.

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 25/07/2026 13:58

You're enabling him by cleaning it up. You should have stripped the sofa cushion and insisted he took it to a dry cleaner.

somanychristmaslights · 25/07/2026 13:56

I despair of women sometimes. Why do we doubt ourselves that this behaviour is ok? The bar is set way too low. My DH has come home pissed before and missed the toilet when he puked. That was the only ever time in 13 years as I read him the riot act!!!! Whereas you’ve said his behaviour is bad every month for a year? Why are you putting up with it?

Jerrybalanitis · 25/07/2026 13:55

I wouldnt feel safe with this man. Safe men do not behave like this.

banmusk · 25/07/2026 13:47

itwasyourshowallalong · 25/07/2026 11:24

I’m so sorry to say this, but my gut feeling is that he’s more concerned about losing his place to drunkenly crash than he is about losing you

Throw this one back, you can do better x

Unfortunately I cannot disagree with this.
Please don't let this vile person into your home again.

Ohdearnotthisagain · 25/07/2026 13:44

Raise your standards, OP. You can do better.

grumpygrape · 25/07/2026 13:35

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 11:02

It’s not urine. I’ve just about managed to clean the sofa - he had a half arsed attempt first.

Maybe your definition of massive wet patch and other people's is significantly different. Has he gone now, did you take your key back?

Calliopespa · 25/07/2026 13:34

Cherrytree86 · 25/07/2026 12:41

@Heatwavefry

what does he mean he sorted himself out?

and if it’s not urine, what is it?

😬

ETA 🍆🌋

Calliopespa · 25/07/2026 13:33

rainbowstardrops · 25/07/2026 13:21

Well no, I agree but at least you could put it down to them being young and stupid and discovering alcohol. A 31 year old should be way past that by now was my point.

Yes exactly. He is developmentally immature as well as revolting.

The 18 year old would "just" be revolting.

worldshottestmom · 25/07/2026 13:33

Put him in the bin, along with your sofa cushion.

Calliopespa · 25/07/2026 13:32

Can you explain what you think disrespect would look like OP?

Then compare it to his behaviour ...

ETA he sounds absolutely revolting.

aberturret · 25/07/2026 13:28

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 11:02

It’s not urine. I’ve just about managed to clean the sofa - he had a half arsed attempt first.

What a pig, OP.

I don’t think this is redeemable but the fact he hasn’t been absolutely mortified, booking a professional clean for your couch and making himself scarce so you can calm down would be the decider for me. He’s not even that bothered. Urgh. If he was sober enough to get it up he was sober enough to get tissues or go in the shower / bathroom.

rainbowstardrops · 25/07/2026 13:21

Glittertwins · 25/07/2026 11:59

I wouldn’t accept an 18 yr old getting home in that kind of state either to be honest.

Well no, I agree but at least you could put it down to them being young and stupid and discovering alcohol. A 31 year old should be way past that by now was my point.

idontknowhowtodreamyourdreams · 25/07/2026 13:20

I would struggle to find him attractive after this. What a vile way to behave in someone else’s house.

It’s so disrespectful.

Either you walk away from the relationship or he commits to not behaving like this again (and sticks to it). Don’t move in with him until there is a consistent pattern of better behaviour (or at all).

What is your relationship like otherwise?

Firefly100 · 25/07/2026 13:20

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 10:41

He hasn’t left yet, he is grovelling and claims he had a memory black out and doesn’t remember coming home or what happened in the night. I’ve told him he has an hour to leave.

Ok, then logically he clearly understands now that he can’t handle his drink and has volunteered unprompted that will never be drinking to excess ever again right. Right? Right? Yeah, right!

SevenYellowHammers · 25/07/2026 13:19

MorphandMindy · 25/07/2026 08:32

I think you need to end it. This isn't occasional behaviour anymore, this is a pattern and it will go on for as long as he wants it to.

The only way you get out of it is by taking away your key and refusing to have him over after drinking. Ideally by getting shot of him, but you might need a little while to process that this routine is now part of your relationship and will continue to be for as long as the relationship goes on or DP chooses not to - but he likes it.

The wet patch isn't cum obviously, that wouldn't even fill a teaspoon. He's pissed on your couch. He's going to be much too hungover today to even feel bad about it or apologise. Send him home, take some time to think and speak about it in a couple of days.

This

SevenYellowHammers · 25/07/2026 13:17

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

Me 🤮 you are NOT overreacting. Tell him to fuck off. I’m thinking of buying a van and every time I read another mumsnet post like this going round and chucking these “men” out. Anyone want to join me?

Tiddlywinks63 · 25/07/2026 13:11

Disgusting specimen, wtf do you see in him? Be very thankful you’re no married.

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