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Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

562 replies

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

OP posts:
WildLeader · 25/07/2026 16:36

He wanked onto your sofa.

look at the contempt! Look at the revenge and hatred he has for you not sorting him out

i know you’ve booted him out, but go get a new lock for your front door and block him. He’s beyond gross.

Flutterbees · 25/07/2026 16:34

Not one shred of what you’ve posted is even remotely funny. Someone who gets that drunk frequently has an issue with alcohol. This will only get worse. Show him the door.

PatchworkCow · 25/07/2026 16:34

Speakeasier · 25/07/2026 09:26

Does it matter? Both are completely disrespectful. I’ve been ill in my life over the years. I’ve been very drunk in my life over the years. But I’ve never pissed or masturbated on anyone’s sofa. It’s not really an accomplishment it’s being a decent human being.

It's worse if it's cum. More disrespectful. Nobody deliberately pisses themselves for fun, but he chose to have a wank and to let the results of it go on the sofa.

Either is bad and a dumping offense though, so it doesn't matter that much, I agree.

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 25/07/2026 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Awww that's not very nice is it?

Does you need a hug? I mean not from me, I think what you wrote is very rude, but maybe from someone else?

RafaFan · 25/07/2026 16:27

MsIceSandwich · 25/07/2026 08:20

It's not pee, he's got cum on her sofa.

Oh, well, that's all right then.

Either way is grim, as is his expectation that the OP should "see to him". Charming.

Swanfeet · 25/07/2026 16:15

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

Oh my god. End it, seriously you deserve better than this. Life is precious, move on xx

JJMama · 25/07/2026 15:59

Putrid. In every way.

Get rid and do better for yourself. Make him clean up first before you throw him out.

This is rancid.

Llamallamafruitpyjama · 25/07/2026 15:52

That is so disgusting id immediately get the ick. Can you imagine if you had a child with this loser and they woke up to a naked Dad that had done this on your sofa!! It’s so gross and it seems like he did it on purpose to punish you for turning him down.
YUCK! Throw this one back.

Ump · 25/07/2026 15:40

Cherrytree86 · 25/07/2026 12:41

@Heatwavefry

what does he mean he sorted himself out?

and if it’s not urine, what is it?

He had a wank. The stain on the sofa is semen.

Do you not get out much?

Glidinglikeaswan · 25/07/2026 15:38

If this was the first time he'd ever done anything like this I would give him a second chance. But you are saying it is a pattern of behaviour which he obviously sees no need to change. For me, worse than the mess on your sofa would be the fact that he woke you up for you to attend to his wants.

Chilihealer · 25/07/2026 15:30

I hope you rubbed his fucking face in it and dragged him out in a headlock, never to be seen again the scruffy bastard.

disturbia · 25/07/2026 15:26

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

That is disgusting behaviour don't let him stay at yours again. He can pay to have the sofa cleaned as well

Gengha · 25/07/2026 15:16

what a disgusting bastard

AnonyMumAuDHD · 25/07/2026 15:11

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 10:41

He hasn’t left yet, he is grovelling and claims he had a memory black out and doesn’t remember coming home or what happened in the night. I’ve told him he has an hour to leave.

I think this is all you can do - make it clear that you do not accept this any more. Then you can decide whether to rebuild a conditional relationship where he needs to behave better or accept that the behaviours you have seen ARE him and make a decision based on that.

My DH has got a bit too drunk more than a few times in years I’ve known him (34so far), although mainly long before we had kids, so not for 20years or so now. He never expected me to ‘come and see to him’ [🤢], nor did he sulk and leave deposits on the sofas. The ick would have been too strong if he’d spoken to me and behaved like this, so we wouldn’t still be together.

MNLurker1345 · 25/07/2026 15:09

SevenYellowHammers · 25/07/2026 13:17

Me 🤮 you are NOT overreacting. Tell him to fuck off. I’m thinking of buying a van and every time I read another mumsnet post like this going round and chucking these “men” out. Anyone want to join me?

Yeah! ‘MN Waste-Man Disposal Unit’!

Might need an articulated lorry though.

AcrossthePond55 · 25/07/2026 15:08

@Heatwavefry

As we read here frequently "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time". This may not be the first time he's shown you who he is, but let it be the last. Getting drunk to the point of 'black out' regularly is a sure indication of alcoholism, even if it's binge drinking.

At the very least, if you aren't ready to make that final decision, demand your key off him. He has abused the privilege of entering your home on his own. Leaving 'bodily fluids' of any kind on someone else's possessions .due to being shitfaced is absolutely over the line, I don't care how drunk someone is.

You deserve better than someone who treats you so disrespectfully. Drunkenly waking you up to have you 'sort him out'? I ask you! And then to wank onto your sofa? Just NO.

Why anyone would think this was 'funny' is beyond me.

DaisyChain505 · 25/07/2026 15:08

The only thing I could think of when I read this was how little self respect you must have to want to stay in a relationship with this gross man.

Please want more for yourself.

TheKindnessProject · 25/07/2026 14:54

I would not have the air space for anyone whose level of respect for me - drunk or sober - in my life, nevermind with the consideration of having this person intimately in my life long term. I hope for you that this is the turning point for you in making decisions that lead you to a future containing kind, respectful, loving partners that treat you like an absolute queen. This manchild is not it. Truly.

ginasevern · 25/07/2026 14:53

@Johnson85 "But having a wank and getting it on the sofa really doesn't seem that serious to me."

So do you regularly jizz on other people's sofas?

Ilovebakewelltarts · 25/07/2026 14:41

Twilight7777 · 25/07/2026 14:11

I had an ex boyfriend shit himself after drinking, some of it leaked on my sofa. That was the end of the relationship funnily enough. He was an alcoholic.

😮

pikkumyy77 · 25/07/2026 14:39

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:25

31, we had discussed living with each other in the future.

“See to him” Yikes! Are you his service wench? His concubine on irder for the night?

You are crazy to even be in a casual relationship with this wanker (sic).

FairKoala · 25/07/2026 14:38

CharlotteStreetW1 · 25/07/2026 08:20

Re-read the OP 😬

either way it’s disgusting

Dweetfidilove · 25/07/2026 14:35

@Heatwavefry , this has continued for a year and his drunken behaviour seems to have worsened. What would you like to happen with this relationship now?

ExplodingSmittens · 25/07/2026 14:33

Has he gone now @Heatwavefry.

Whilst I think what he did was awful you now have him not taking responsibility by claiming he has a “memory black out” which is also know as an alcohol problem and him not even cleaning up after himself properly.

Im hoping he has gone for your sake.

Rosegard · 25/07/2026 14:26

Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk
Do it.

Is this really the life you want?
He's scum.

Disrespectful uncouth scum.

It is beyond sad that you would tolerate this after the first time it happened.

Find some self respect soon or you will end up with the most miserable life.

Decent men do not behave like that.
He's a lowlife.

Don't allow him to drag you down.
Very hard to get up and out of a situation when you choose scum for a partner.