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Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

562 replies

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

OP posts:
Hotsirballloon · 25/07/2026 18:06

As a ex drug addict he is on cocaine the need to cum to sleep is well reported in men

WellThatIsABitMad · 25/07/2026 18:05

If I could type this a thousand times I would…..end it. It will only get worse and if this is him in a relatively new relationship, you are in for a lifetime of sadness and disappointment.

Bigreddog25 · 25/07/2026 17:58

LejlaKapovic · 25/07/2026 08:51

Why do keep allowing him to stay in your home when he's out on his drunken benders? What's the old saying? "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice..."...

Or better yet: what keeps you with this man? I genuinely couldn't be attracted to this drunken mess of a "man". Just, yuck...adult "men" pissing themselves, I couldn't respect or be attracted to this...

Pissing yourself drunk is at least an accident. This man purposely ejaculated on her sofa. Vileee

Bigreddog25 · 25/07/2026 17:56

HelpMeGetThrough · 25/07/2026 08:38

The OP said “massive wet patch”. Unless he cums like an elephant, he pissed himself.

Massive wet patch from when he 'sorted him self out' it's not urine.

N0ChildrenYet · 25/07/2026 17:55

This is disgusting

Bigreddog25 · 25/07/2026 17:54

Cnidarian · 25/07/2026 08:23

Why is there a male loneliness epidemic- Exhibit A

This man is not lonely enough

MyHeartyLemonLurker · 25/07/2026 17:53

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

Absolutely appalling behaviour 🤢. Total
lack of respect. If he’s like this now…..

Bigreddog25 · 25/07/2026 17:52

I can't think of a single thing that could be classed as an overreaction to that behaviour. What a disgusting man.

ExplodingSmittens · 25/07/2026 17:47

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 25/07/2026 17:34

OP, there are men out there who would have spent last night cooking dinner and washing up, and then gone to the supermarket with you and taken you to the cinema today. You can do so much better than this man. He might be better in the future, but there is a lot of time between now and the future. You can and should go and do things with other people in the meantime. And by the time he’s turned into a normal grown up man you’ll already be with someone else thank god.

Edited

Exactly this. DH has done the weekly shop this afternoon and then cooked dinner and it was really good.

Mind you I was told at your age more than once that I was too fussy with men and my standards were too high. My rely was that I’d rather be alone than with someone I wasn’t happy with.

tooomanytortillas · 25/07/2026 17:46

Sack him off

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 25/07/2026 17:34

OP, there are men out there who would have spent last night cooking dinner and washing up, and then gone to the supermarket with you and taken you to the cinema today. You can do so much better than this man. He might be better in the future, but there is a lot of time between now and the future. You can and should go and do things with other people in the meantime. And by the time he’s turned into a normal grown up man you’ll already be with someone else thank god.

Wordsmithery · 25/07/2026 17:20

He sounds utterly repulsive.

Blueseudeshoes · 25/07/2026 17:13

I wouldn’t of let him even sleep on the couch he’d of been left in the street doing that on the couch! Vile

PatchworkCow · 25/07/2026 17:06

idontknowhowtodreamyourdreams · 25/07/2026 13:20

I would struggle to find him attractive after this. What a vile way to behave in someone else’s house.

It’s so disrespectful.

Either you walk away from the relationship or he commits to not behaving like this again (and sticks to it). Don’t move in with him until there is a consistent pattern of better behaviour (or at all).

What is your relationship like otherwise?

Never let the bar for your relationship be "he treated me with contempt, but if he promises to never do it again, it's fine". It's NOT fine, it was never fine and the way to show yourself respect is to never ever tolerate it, not even once. Don't be with a man who's go-to mode of being is to see how much crap you'll put up with before you threaten to dump him.

RoxyRoo2011 · 25/07/2026 17:05

Johnson85 · 25/07/2026 08:39

Obviously a bit rude and thoughtless of him, and binge drinking and related behaviours arent nice or attractive. Should slow down as you get older, no worsen.

But having a wank and getting it on the sofa really doesn't seem that serious to me. People saying 'dump him' are being ridiculous. Tell him you find it rude and thoughtless to ejaculate on the sof

🤯🤯

RoxyRoo2011 · 25/07/2026 16:58

So no. You’re not overreacting. Wake him up, Kick him out, permanently and send an invoice for the sofa clean. That’s really really gross. I’d never be able to look at him the same way.

PatchworkCow · 25/07/2026 16:53

toottoot3 · 25/07/2026 10:33

I suppose he could be mortified and still throughly clean the couch? With proper care and cleaning materials not just rub it with a cushion? He's been pretty disrespectful but it's how he deals with it today. Is it your fault cause you didn't "help" him? Is he laughing it off and no thought to properly clean (not you doing it later cause he doesn't care to do a good job)
If your made to feel anything but apologied too your getting a clear picture how your going to get treated forever. Maybe let him get taxis home for a bit before he gains free bed and access to your house when in such a state

No! He has literally told her, when she questioned the wankstain, that it's because she didn't "sort him out" last night. He's confessed to it being deliberate.

OP, getting so drunk he has "memory blackouts" is a dumping offense too, not a valid defense of his actions! Not that I believe him anyway. You are worth more than an apology, more than words designed to pacify you. You're worthy of respect.

Find a man who never has to apologise for his actions like this because he'd never dream of doing it in the first place.

Anyone lesser isn't worth dating. Chuck them back at the first sign of disrespect, always. You don't want to go through life fighting to be shown basic human decency with some excuse for a man who thinks it's ok to push your boundaries to see just how little you'll accept. Just maintaining the status quo is an uphill battle with those types, because they'll always be trying to do less and less and be less and less. They don't want a girlfriend/wife/relationship, they want WomanBot3000 with maid service and sex mode.

EggsBen · 25/07/2026 16:48

He’s a disrespectful minger. Get him out and change the locks.

Bigcat25 · 25/07/2026 16:46

If it happened more than once I would dump.

Branwells77 · 25/07/2026 16:44

Omg I really hope you woke him up made him clean the sofa 🤢 and then took his keys of him and kicked him out and ended the relationship you deserve someone so much better than this I’m sure he will be full of apologies and he will promise it will never happen again it will absolutely happen again and he will just get worse

OnlyHasEyesForLoki · 25/07/2026 16:43

Ewww the dirty bastard. Send him the sofa steam cleaning bill and surely you are dumping the CF?!

LolalaBouche · 25/07/2026 16:41

Oof. Sounds like you (rightly) have the ick. There’s no coming back from that. Bin him off now.

PatchworkCow · 25/07/2026 16:38

Glidinglikeaswan · 25/07/2026 15:38

If this was the first time he'd ever done anything like this I would give him a second chance. But you are saying it is a pattern of behaviour which he obviously sees no need to change. For me, worse than the mess on your sofa would be the fact that he woke you up for you to attend to his wants.

Seriously, why?! If someone came into your home and kicked you in the head, would you explain why that's bad and invite them back again? Because this is on the same level of disrespect.

He should be dumped just for waking her up for sex.

He should be dumped for using her place as a doss house after a night out that she hasn't been on with him.

Please raise your own standards and don't hang out with arseholes like this man.

WildLeader · 25/07/2026 16:37

Glidinglikeaswan · 25/07/2026 15:38

If this was the first time he'd ever done anything like this I would give him a second chance. But you are saying it is a pattern of behaviour which he obviously sees no need to change. For me, worse than the mess on your sofa would be the fact that he woke you up for you to attend to his wants.

He wanked on to her sofa.

some things don’t need the benefit of the doubt. If you allow this once, what’s next?

seriously. The bar has to be higher than this.

BuildbyNumbere · 25/07/2026 16:36

Take away the key!