Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

562 replies

Heatwavefry · 25/07/2026 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
AcrossthePond55 · 29/07/2026 15:45

@Heatwavefry

Ok, that's your choice to make.

Just remember when it happens again (and it will) that there are threads on MN to support the partners/spouses of alcoholics.

I'll see you there eventually, I'm sure. And you will be very welcome and will not be judged.

KarenNextDoor · 28/07/2026 12:25

Only just came back to this. So after all that, youve forgiven him? 😂 until next time hey…..

he booked into the pub to placate you but really so he could get a hair of the dog 🤦🏻‍♀️

All the best op

Jackiepumpkinhead · 27/07/2026 20:12

PetulaGordeno · 26/07/2026 17:14

Imagine buying the jizz sofa second hand?
I cannot understand why a woman in her 30’s, clearly has built a life for herself, would put up with this? I can understand that for all sorts of reasons women become trapped, but this woman isn’t?
She has actively chosen this man, he now really knows he can pull these stunts and get away with them.

Edited

Revolting isn’t it!

flobo3 · 27/07/2026 07:22

daisychain01 · 27/07/2026 06:58

Apologists for vile male behaviour are predictable and dull but it doesn't stop you does it.

I’m not apologising for the male, he was vile. I’m wondering why grown women can’t simply step away from the thread instead of coming back to berate the op for not following their advice. People are being incredibly bitchy and unkind, why? It’s her life. Stop being so invested.

nutbrownhare15 · 27/07/2026 07:05

Someone said to me once you get to see what people are really like underneath when they are drunk. I would not tolerate this and would be seriously rethinking whether I want this relationship. Asking you to 'sort him out?' Just vile

pag3turn3r · 27/07/2026 07:04

If he was really sorry, he wouldn't have done a half-hearted sofa clean up. He would have spent a long time cleaning it properly to show you he was sorry. The fact you had to clean it properly yourself tells me he's not sorry at all.

daisychain01 · 27/07/2026 06:58

flobo3 · 26/07/2026 22:32

Op I’d just get this thread deleted now because all you’re going to get is sad individuals coming back to tell you how low your standards are etc etc etc. It’s all quite predictable and dull.

Apologists for vile male behaviour are predictable and dull but it doesn't stop you does it.

daisychain01 · 27/07/2026 06:56

Every day is the perfect opportunity to dump scum like him.

User565635 · 27/07/2026 04:23

Jesus Christ...
The shitbag partners that people have on here blows my mind.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 27/07/2026 02:50

Oh dear, I'd bet money on you regretting not dumping him...that was the perfect opportunity.

There are so many better men out there, don't 'settle' for this disrespectful prick.

IndigoBluey · 27/07/2026 01:28

flobo3 · 26/07/2026 22:32

Op I’d just get this thread deleted now because all you’re going to get is sad individuals coming back to tell you how low your standards are etc etc etc. It’s all quite predictable and dull.

are you the sofa jizzer / wetter?

Havingaswimmoose · 27/07/2026 01:21

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 27/07/2026 01:09

@Havingaswimmoose bloody hell I remember that! She was very proud that it was an expensive restaurant, as if that meant more!

Oh, wow, thanks!
I was hoping that I had remembered correctly.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 27/07/2026 01:09

@Havingaswimmoose bloody hell I remember that! She was very proud that it was an expensive restaurant, as if that meant more!

Havingaswimmoose · 27/07/2026 00:43

Apologies if hundreds of you have mentioned this.

Wasn't there a similar thread where a woman accepted a meal out as "compensation" for a man behaving in a vile manner? Lots of really great advice was given. Then ignored.

Is this OP"s tale a coincidence? A copy? The same person?

The previous OP, she gleefully mentioned that the restaurant she'd picked wasn't cheap. To reassure us she had standards. Wasn't being bought off for a paltry sum!

It was a while ago.
The mumsnet replies showed heads shaking in despair at the non existent bar.

flobo3 · 26/07/2026 22:32

Op I’d just get this thread deleted now because all you’re going to get is sad individuals coming back to tell you how low your standards are etc etc etc. It’s all quite predictable and dull.

cloudtreecarpet · 26/07/2026 21:47

Minasama · 26/07/2026 19:47

What a disgusting individual.

I have never been with a man who behaved like this, it’s horrible.

Sounds like a good thing you do not live together, I certainly wouldn’t start to after this.

My husband enjoys a good night out and a lot of drink with some friends but there has never been any indication of this sort of behaviour even when he’s been very drunk.

So your husband also likes to binge drink and get "very drunk" with his mates, he just hasn't wanked over the sofa.

So excessive drinking is OK then just as long as he doesn't do anything "disgusting"?

Doesn't sound a whole lot better really does it? Heavy drinking is heavy drinking.

Daisymail · 26/07/2026 20:30

A roast dinner? You seriously need to raise your standards.

OnlyHasEyesForLoki · 26/07/2026 20:10

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:32

He has booked my favourite country pub for a roast later, so he’s at least trying to make amends!

That’s alright then! Wow I can’t believe you’re still with him!

RP2211 · 26/07/2026 19:58

He only stays at yours when he wants to go out and get pissed? Read the signs... A Sunday roast and you forget what he's done? 🤦🏼‍♀️

outerspacepotato · 26/07/2026 19:58

Double up on birth control and use a barrier method as one. Protect yourself and don't have kids with him. Growing up with an alcoholic parent is absolute hell.

Minasama · 26/07/2026 19:50

Heatwavefry · 26/07/2026 13:05

If he dares to behave like that again then my poultry will be permanently re-aligned, I’ve made that very clear!

Umm… he will. Because this is the type of behaviour that is so bad that a normal person would never do it in the first place.

Really, really disgusting and disrespectful. What does he have up his sleeve next time you do something he doesn’t like, I wonder?

Minasama · 26/07/2026 19:47

What a disgusting individual.

I have never been with a man who behaved like this, it’s horrible.

Sounds like a good thing you do not live together, I certainly wouldn’t start to after this.

My husband enjoys a good night out and a lot of drink with some friends but there has never been any indication of this sort of behaviour even when he’s been very drunk.

MerryUmberHedgehog · 26/07/2026 19:34

What a slob

B1anche · 26/07/2026 19:09

I'm so pleased you've managed to sort things out with this wonderful man. Just think, in decades to come you can tell your grandchildren the funny story of when Grandad jizzed on the sofa on one of the many occasions he came home blind drunk and Granny was too tired for sex. 💕

Triskellion75 · 26/07/2026 19:05

Is he providing the gravy?