Since DS was born, it's been very clear that DH has become really competitive (not sure that's the best word to use) about DS. He always pushed for me to bottle feed in the early days rather than BF (I didn't), said I held him too much and that he should "want" dad more instead of mum all the time. As DS got older this continued - he had a bit of a mummy stage but DH would always comment on it e.g. "mum doesn't have to do everything you know", "don't you love Dad?" " I may as well not be here". The bit that sticks out the most for me is that he never really actively encouraged or supported me being a good, loving mum to our DS, rather it just comes across that he's butt hurt that our son wanted me a lot of the time. I don't know if it's felt worse because ILs were exactly the same with the baby comments. Even now if I'm home and DS runs to see me, MIL and DH do a kind of joking eye roll with something along the lines of oh surprise surprise mum is home, that's us bombed out. He will also say things to DS like " mum doesn't like dad" if we have a silly bicker about something, eg the other night I asked if he hung the washing up and he said he forgot, I jokingly said oh for goodness sake what are you like.! I don't think he should be making comments like that to DS and have told him this.
Well now DS is definitely moving towards a "dad" stage which is fine and to be expected. It does hurt a little as I miss the closeness of putting him to bed and things but it is what it is and he just wants some time with his dad. I can't help feel a bit worried though that this has been actively encouraged and like DH has almost encouraged to DS push me aside?
His interactions with DS are so intense, it would take me a whole other post to explain it, but he is just so overbearing and stifling around DS that I'm glad when he goes to work or I can take DS out on my own somewhere. It's far easier and more enjoyable as bad as that sounds. I can't work out if DH is a very insecure person that desperately needs DSs love, or just doesn't like me lol. In all honesty I think it's the former. I'm just worried about how this is affecting DS and if in the long run it's going to weaken my bond with him because of his dad saying things all the time and being completely overbearing.
Perhaps I am being too sensitive and please feel free to tell me so.