Hate my friend's boyfriend

From Google AI
asked: what does it mean if someone is obsessed with and seems entertained by the death and dying of others:

it is a significant warning sign that goes beyond normal morbid curiosity. This behavior often points to severe empathy deficits, psychological trauma, or dark personality traits that require careful attention and boundaries.
Here is a breakdown of what this mindset usually means:
Psychological Meanings

• Schadenfreude: Experiencing genuine joy or entertainment from the misfortune, pain, or death of others.

Desensitization: A numbing of emotional responses, often caused by severe past trauma, abuse, or overexposure to extreme violence.

Sadistic Tendencies: Deriving pleasure, entertainment, or psychological satisfaction from the suffering or termination of life.

There was obv a lot more, but is def worth reading up on and sharing info with your friend.

He’s mad as a hatter. You’re not overreacting.

Completely vile and your friend needs to be careful. One step from deriving pleasure from this sick sort of thing and not calling an ambulance when your friend will need it and watching her suffer. Awful. Sick.

Well said. I think she is likely being love bombed and can't see odd traits as red flags.

Disagree. I've seen death and while I think it needs to be more openly discussed and not 'swept under the carpet', there's a difference between that and ghoulish enjoyment of the process of people dying. There'sno indication the new BF has any link to or sympathy with the people he's following, quite the opposite (and it has nothing to do with 'honesty')

I would reconsider my friendship- I couldn’t be friends with someone who could fund this attractive

I'd be freaked out by that. It would probably be hypercritical as I like watching true crime documentaries. Although I don't recall ever smiling about it, I'd be more likely to cry or be angry.

That’s one of the most disturbing fucked up things I’ve ever heard. Genuinely sick in the head behaviour.

He sounds a bit like a serial killer in the making. I’d hate him too.

To be fair, although people may not admit it there are lots of people who do enjoy watching vloggers who are terminally ill. And often it's the videos that are titled negatively that get the most views. Look at Jenny apple, she had a small channel hardly anyone watched, soon as she started blogging about her cancer she gained literally millions of followers. Her most viewed videos were when she was very sick, not her videos that were titled about good news. Regardless, the way he said what he said and admitted he actively seeks out that stuff is weird and not right. He's clearly taking joy in other peoples suffering. I was just pointing out that if he does enjoy this stuff he's probably not alone as this content is popular with people (and not just those who have cancer or illness themselves, the amount of viewers these channels get it's unlikely to only be people who can relate)

This is super bloody weird and your gut is spot on. Horrible.

The way he explained and showed this to you doesn't seem like he is using this to understand death, it seems he finds it entertaining. That is creepy and I think someone has to be very detached from human emotions to find that entertaining.

TBH I'm not sure how I'd feel about my friend being ok with it. Sure, people turn a blind eye to things in the early, heady days of relationships but that is a very peculiar thing to ok with. Maybe in a while, once the love goggles are off, she might be wondering why on earth she continued seeing him.

Unfortunately in many cases love is blind, not much you can do.

I agree totally with this. He's using it as a hobby, a pastime, not going through the grieving process for a close friend or family member. He's taking an undue interest in the deaths of other people's friends and family members, whose lives he was never part of. And it doesn't sound as if it's based on empathy, sorrow, or shared experiences. He gets a kick out of it.

Perhaps he has to get very, very drunk before he shares this with anyone. I'd be worried about my friend too, OP, but like others here have said, your role is to support her and be there if she needs you.

It is obviously is very weird and creepy, but you know that. That wasn't your question. You asked how to navigate this with your friend. I cannot stand my best friend's partner. He has treated her like shit for the last 3 or 4 years, stringing her along, dropping her and then picking her back up again just as she is getting her life sorted. I have told her my feelings about and we don't do any form of couples socialising. I see her on her own, or we meet with kids. We sometimes have to deal with him if there is a larger gathering, where we are polite, but focus our time on other people in the group. What I don't do is bang on about how much I dislike him. She knows my feelings and there is little point going on about it. I'll be there when it inevitably goes to shit. I neither facilitate the relationship, but nor do I constantly slag it off.

It's a bit weird but I suppose you could compare it to being interested in true crime, or watching/reading horror. And those are considered completely acceptable hobbies. Some people listen to true crime podcasts daily, and those are all about real grisly murders.

He sounds like a creep.

It's ghoulish. Reminds me of the crowds that used to flock to public executions.

And also what's with the " extremely drunk" ? Was this a one off exceptional occasion or is he in habit of drinking to excess ? This would also make me wary of him if heuis a heavy drinker.

Odd behaviour and to bring it up with you on your first meeting was creepy.

In your situation I’d tell your friend that him doing this bothers you and that you don’t want to meet him again. Then don’t.

But, it's not the same as leaving the toilet seat up or not putting your cup in the dishwasher.

He sounds like a freak, and I’m not surprised it doesn’t sit right with you.
Not a lot you can do though as your DF obviously doesn’t mind.

I wouldn't like that either and wouldn't want to spend much time in his presence.

Creepy and pervy is how I would describe this, and would have a hard time stopping myself from telling friend so.

It's not that I have a problem with dealing with death because I don't. I have sat through the night with first my DH and then three months later my mother this year and held their hands as they died. It's not a spectator sport though, and this man is just a short step away from treating it as such.

He is not present in the room, but what he is doing still seems pervy and intrusive.

Yes in one way i think its odd but I think most people have one thing about them that others may think odd or creepy or whatever ao if that is the only thing about him I dont think it is anything to do with me

I dont think of men as robots where every box has to ticked on passing some made up test to make them perfect

They are allowed to be human like women and have faults

New boyfriend is obsessed with the dying and death of strangers.

He sounds like a nutbar. But your friend will 100% side with him if you try to raise it. I’ve had friends with awful DPs twice who eventually realised. Both times I cooled the friendship as much as possible and waited for my friends to see the light, which they both did eventually. In a third case, I had a friend who persistently chose awful blokes to shack up with. We’d been friends all through school but finally in my mid thirties I gave up on her when she brought a baby into her latest drama-filled batshit relationship.