To tell people we're still renting when we bought outright.

I agree, it’s nosey and rude
I don’t know why people think it’s acceptable.
personally I would reply with ‘I don’t feel comfortable sharing my private financial business publicly, thank you’
or the good old ‘why do you want to know?’ ‘Weird thing to ask someone’ and watch them squirm

People are weird to ask those type of questions, it's no business of them to pry. A next door neighbour moved in 4 years ago and he rented. It was only the other day when we were chatting about his new fence that I realised he'd bought the house and he told me it was a cash purchase, off his landlord 3 years previously. My partner knew he'd bought it years ago because our neighbour told him not because my partner asked.

It's just making small talk....the reply to yes we bought is oh how lovely you can put your own stamp on it, is there much you want to do? Cue conversations about paint and who did their patio. Don't overthink it.

OP, similar to you we rented for a long time and we built up a deposit. Then we were asked to leave and had to find a rental quite quickly. It turned out new landlord was selling all his properties. We hashed out a price, did a private sale and that was that. I didn't even tell my parents or anyone really. We just got on with it. We did need a mortgage though, prices have stayed high in our area.

I am quite a private person so don't post much about what I'm doing on socials. And i wouldnt bring it myself, only if someone asked. Just say "we own our house. Yeah, got a great deal and after renting for so long, it's nice to have a home that's really ours." You'd be surprised how freeing that is and in your case, it really is yours! The building society owns 3/4 of my house 😅

I know what it's like being in a community where you feel less worthy or you don't quite fit in. It goes away, once you realise you deserve what you have. All the best.

really? you can put someone's name in a search and it will tell you what their mortgage is?

If you want to snub them then just say "why do you ask?"

A move from renting to buying. is normally seen as a step up the success ladder. Perhaps they want to congratulate you?

Exactly. Can’t see you have a problem. Just

they are probably just making conversation. It’s weird to lie about it, but nobody would answer oh no I’m a cash buyer, that’s wanky. Just say bought it and they’ll all assume you have a mortgage like they do? I would honestly expect to know whether friends were owners or renters as a casual conversation topic. In the US I think you can look up people’s mortgages - now that feels intrusive!!

Same

I think you have got a bit obsessed about your status. It's so incredibly common to discuss houses and mortgages and the problems with buying and selling that people will just ask the renting or bought question as it gives a guide as to which route the conversation can go down.

I'd be very surprised if anyone (although I bet it happens) orders deeds from the land registry in order to find out if their friends have mortgages or not.

Are you afraid of losing the "modest lifestyle" label? It sounds like it.

An no, we never congratulated to each other when moving between rentals with my friends. I would never think of that. Wait, one or twice actually. "Congrats on escaping that shithole". Otherwise it's just bit odd.

I have friends in rented who have had to move 2 or 3 times within a short number of years due to landlords selling up. I'd be delighted to learn they'd bought a property because it would mean greater stability for their families. I have no interest in their financial situation. I certainly don't think it's an unreasonable question to ask someone who's in a well paying career.

Maybe that’s the thing - they want to know whether to congratulate the Op.

Bought a bigger house? Congratulations!
Downsized and are now mortgage free? Congratulations!
Moved from one rental to another? Sorry about all the agg and expense!

I don’t do this as a matter of course but as I said I upthread I do do it sometimes if there is something about a house nearby I am curious about. I also do it for any house I am seriously considering buying.

I would DEFINITELY do it if I asked someone a very normal question and they were cagey in their response!

Why would anyone say congratulations on moving? It just part of life, most of my mates hate moving when renting it generally a
massive inconvenience and stressful.

if you are at the age where people start buying houses it’s a pretty normal question.

you are thinking it’s a value judgement and it’s really not.

Its no one else's business but people are generally curious and ask questions. Its not unreasonable to say youd rather not discuss your finances but its a bit weird to have lied imo

You can order a copy of the registered title from land registry.

This will show whether there are any charges (eg mortgages) on the property. If there aren't any listed then you know the person owns outright

You can also see the name/s of the registered owners, their contact address, and how much they paid for the property

Obviously I have never done this to snoop. But people can. So it's a bit daft lying about something that's in public records.

It can be useful e.g. if you are unsure who a parcel of land belongs to.

I get you @TheChosen people are weird about renting in this country and seem to want to know if you are, so that they can advise you about mortgages and home buying. We did the same as you long term super cheap rental for convenience allowing us to save a deposit.
If you can just keep changing the subject.

It could be a precursor to congratulations - they may well take the view that if you're still renting it's no big deal, if you've bought it's a matter for congratulation because you have a secure home that you can decorate and furnish as you like etc etc.

Neighbours ask that question to see if you’re temporary or permanent neighbours. If a neighbour say they bought it, people will be pleased that you’re more permanent than a renter. People would just assumed it’s mortgaged, unless you told them otherwise. I was asked both times I moved. Congratulations on owning your own home!

First of all congratulations on being incredible sensible and frugal. Your hard work and sacrifice has paid off.
secondly I would not take umbrage if someone asks if we buy or rent. You will find this a very popular topic of conversations everywhere you go. House buying is like the weather. A neutral topic. Just say you are thrilled to have bought your first home at last, and if anyone is crass enough to ask your mortgage just smile and say "oh cash actually ". That will shut them down.
well done you.

Exactly.

I agree with you OP -it’s very bad manners to ask people how grey are paying for something and I’m surprised at the amount of people who think it’s ok.
I think I’d just say we’ve bought it and if anyone follows through with do you have mortgage, I’d just laugh and say ‘so many questions - would you like to see my bank statements’ and then change the subject.

I think they're just making conversation, since if you've bought they might ask you if you've got plans to renovate or decorate etc.
However I wouldn't mention that you bought outright as they will start prying into how you have managed that.