To tell people we're still renting when we bought outright.

Who is judging though? And what is there to judge about a couple buying a home?

That’s exactly the point - The OP isn’t interested in being judged by these people one way or another.

Sorry, but no. I wouldn't congratulate someone that moved home. I would congratulate someone buying their first home. If they then went to move again I still wouldn't congratulate them.

Buying a home IS an achievement. Moving your belongings from one place to another, isn't.

Congratulations for moving?? Is that a thing?
Congratulations for buying a house- sure. Perhaps that's why they were asking!

What a ridiculous thing to lie about 😂 you sound quite immature, and I dislike liars in general, so my vote is that you are being unreasonable.

Could easily just say you bought one, without having to tell anyone that you bought outright.

Being able to buy a house find the deposit get the mortgage approved is an achievement. These are tough times it shouldn’t be a secret.

Having rented for most of my life, moving many times, I'd have been a bit confused if people kept congratulating me. Not because renting is lesser, but moving almost never felt like a goal or milestone, just something I had to do. Whereas buying is often something people look forward to for a long time.

‘We bought it’. You do not need to elaborate that you bought it outright.

The ex and I bought our council house, but split after a couple of years. I stayed in the house to sell it. When the estate agent’s Sold sign went up in the garden someone came along and was very put out that I hadn’t told her that we had bought it. There’s some very odd people about, and she was just someone we would say hello to if we passed in the street.

🤣

It may, but doesn’t work for everyone. I prefer not to create unnecessary tension and emotion with people who I want to keep at a distance. I want them to have neutral feelings when they see me, so try not to manufacture reasons for them to think I’m either a dear or a witch.

I do think it comes across as defensive.

i have a weird situation in that i live in a nice area in a expensive house and also a rental property that i put a big deposit down on but am in a tight financial situation my house has lots of defects ( bit of mould, broken windows / door kitchens broken drawers hanging off you get the picture property rich income poor

i am a little awkward around chit chat that involves money recently another mum let slip her garden renovations cost 70k. She doesn't know but ive been at the food bank this week

people are always casually saying things like we've done Disney and centre parks so want to do something different this year while i am going nowhere st all with my kids because we have no money ( i bought some paints from b and m today which felt really decadent spending

everyone is asking if we are going away which i fucking hate as idle chit chat as each time its asked i die of mum guilt shame

poverty shame and judgement is dumb in such a horrible cost of living crisis

A women three doors down told DP that she could no longer talk to us as she had bought her council house! I still laugh about that and referred to her as Mrs Bucket from then on.

it seems a weird thing to lie about. just say year we bought it. the assumption will be mortgage and if they also for monetary details tell them it's private.

I’m the sort of person that would look puzzled on purpose and say, “Why do you want to know?”.

Yes, the only reason people congratulate someone on their new home is because they secretly judge renters. Not because they recognise it's an exciting and maybe stressful milestone for someone.

I tell loads of people I rent but I actually own outright. None of their business. Also really helps when someone knocks on your door offering guttering, driveways etc as I simply say sorry it's not my property 😂

This. In the case of friends….But it’s quite rude to ask if you don’t know someone well!

terse works for me, not sure why its defensive?

ooo ooo I've got one
Them "did you rent or buy?"
You "neither, we are cuckooing the old lady who lives there"

Guaranteed to stop the questions

“Why do you ask?” is a little terse and defensive. The idea of having a way to reply without answering is good though. Better still is distancing yourself from people that make you feel uncomfortable and judged.

I usually go with a joking reply when I don’t want to answer a prying question. “Oh, we’re squatting! Please don’t tell anyone. The owner is in the Caribbean and we are hoping they won’t notice.”

You aren’t wrong that people judge others based on this info. You also will not be likely to be able to keep it a secret for long.

I don’t think it was good advice. To me, if I’d asked just to make conversation, it would come across as extremely defensive, unnecessary and plain rude. I think you have a bee in your bonnet about people looking down on renters, which I don’t think is generally true. Look at estate agent windows in wealthy areas and you’ll see loads of very expensive rental places advertised.

Just say you bought it? They'll assume you've got a mortgage.

We paid off our mortgage in our early 30s due to the unexpected sudden death of my fil. Only our closest friends and family know that we own outright. No need to tell others. It really hasn't come up in conversation.

It’s just a conversation starter, if you say you’ve bought then it leads to other chat about decorations, improvements etc. things you can’t necessarily do when you’re renting.

Why do you want to know?" is a great response
Clearly the answer would be ' i was just wondering if you had any plans for any renovations or making any changes' ( things that you cant normally do in a rental)

As people have said, people ask just to keep conversation going rather than giving two hoots what others are doing. No one cares!