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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell people we're still renting when we bought outright.

309 replies

TheChosen · 25/07/2026 00:37

DH and I recently moved house. Our previous house was a rental and we lived there for almost a decade. The old house was a small 2 bed flat where we lived with our 2DC.

The old rent was way below market rate as we had lived there for so long. We sacrificed living and outdoor space a little longer than we probably should have for the financial security and to allow us to build our savings. The smaller home/outgoings also allowed me to cut my hours to part time while the children were younger so we were happy to make the sacrifices as the benefits outweighed the cons.

Our local area is mostly made up of large new build houses that cost above average for the city we live in. All of our acquaintances and friends have much larger homes than us, and were often surprised when they discovered we lived in such a small, modest flat. Especially as we both have 'good' careers.

We have a combined income of approx 80-95k (depending on bonuses) and have managed to save a good chunk for a house deposit. The market has been terrible for a while and we haven't found anything we like, so decided to also look for bigger rentals to give us a little more space while we house hunt.

A 3 bed rental came up locally and we went for it. After a month of living there, the landlord had some major family issues and notified us they would need to sell unexpectedly. We still hadn't found a place to buy that we liked, then the landlord made us a great offer to buy our current place.

The cost of the house was less than our saved deposit so we decided to make a cash offer and buy the place mortgage free. The deal is finally complete and we are really happy here.

Here's the AIBU. Anytime someone finds out we've moved, the first question they ask is if we are still renting or have bought. I don't know why, but it's really bugging me. Never would it cross my mind to ask someone their renting/home owner status. I'm finding it very intrusive.

Would they still be asking this question if we had previously lived in a similar home to theirs? Do they see us being 'beneath' them for being renters rather than owners?

The first few times I was asked I simply changed the subject and didn't answer, but it keeps happening. These people aren't even close friends, just local acquaintances.

I've eventually started telling them we are still renting as I feel telling them we bought outright would open the door to even more uncomfortable questions.

Is it me, or is it intrusive of people to ask someone (that they don't know very well) this?

My real friends haven't once asked my rental/owner status. Why do random people seem to think they have a right to this knowledge?

AIBU to find this question intrusive and unnecessary?

OP posts:
TheChosen · 25/07/2026 00:47

StJulian2023 · 25/07/2026 00:44

I see how it is annoying. But why would you need to tell them you’d bought outright, specifically? You’d just say yeah, we own it. And if they ask anything else, just say you’re not keen on discussing finances outside the family really.

But if you’ve started telling people you’re still renting you might have to keep on doing that for consistency!!

I'm definitely over thinking it.

When I was asked, it make me think that they had been checking the property on rightmove etc.

The fact that it was a rental when me moved in made me think it would be extra awkward to explain the situation.

I was also miffed that people kept asking so wanted to snub them, if that makes sense.

OP posts:
Wingwalk · 25/07/2026 00:47

You're really overthinking a normal question people ask in small talk when someone has moved house.

bellabelly · 25/07/2026 00:46

Well, technically, you did rent it to begin with so it's not an outright lie. But, I agree - why not simply say you were renting and have now bought?

SakuraTea · 25/07/2026 00:45

You could just say you bought it ? No need to go into the specifics

But there's no shame in renting and equally no need to be secretive about buying.

Plus they will be able to look it up on land registry in a matter of months (and they will be able to tell from that whether you are mortgage free)

StJulian2023 · 25/07/2026 00:44

I see how it is annoying. But why would you need to tell them you’d bought outright, specifically? You’d just say yeah, we own it. And if they ask anything else, just say you’re not keen on discussing finances outside the family really.

But if you’ve started telling people you’re still renting you might have to keep on doing that for consistency!!

TheChosen · 25/07/2026 00:44

WhatNextImScared · 25/07/2026 00:40

You don’t need to tell anyone you bought outright, but why not say you own it? (Everyone will assume you have a mortgage and you don’t need to disabuse them of that notion if you’d feel uncomfortable with them having that info)

I'm not sure why I didn't say that I own.

I was really taken back with the question being asked (multiple times) that I didn't want to share any information with them, so choice the easiest answer to avoid any more intrusive questions.

OP posts:
Pinkissmart · 25/07/2026 00:43

Just say the landlord was selling so you bought it. No need for more details

WarthogWoman · 25/07/2026 00:41

i mean it’s no one’s business but you don’t need to tell people you paid off your mortgage. That’s just weird

WhatNextImScared · 25/07/2026 00:40

You don’t need to tell anyone you bought outright, but why not say you own it? (Everyone will assume you have a mortgage and you don’t need to disabuse them of that notion if you’d feel uncomfortable with them having that info)