To tell people we're still renting when we bought outright.

I find that saying "Ask no questions and you'll be told no lies" tends to shut people up pretty well.

OP, if you're in a fortunate financial position, it's always far better to pretend that you have a lot less than you do. Absolutely do not tell anyone that you own the house outright. And to those people who ask if you're renting or owning, just say you're renting, if you find it too personal to talk about. And don't feel bad. I live by the maxim "Ask no questions and you'll be told no lies." Most people are free with the information that they own, if they are owners, but come to think of it, no one needs to know whether you rent or own.

Congratulations on being financially savvy and then getting such a great deal! Am happy for you.

Nobody has ever asked me whether I am renting or have bought. Ever. In my whole life! Who are all these people asking you this?? How bizarre!

Also…what difference does it make to anyone else that they are so invested in your housing situation, that you feel the need to lie about it??

Weird!

Yes this. I mean lie if you want but it’s just a bit odd that you care about disclosing this.

I sympathise OP because I have dealt with many incredibly intrusive questions lately. I say I don't want to discuss that. If the person has another go ( which they always do) I repeat myself. As I said I don't want to discuss that. Like you it's never proper friends that ask, it's acquaintances.

As PP said, it is probably because if you own it you can do stuff, no point in mentioning doing house stuff like kitchens and carpets if you rent it. No need to know financial details of the sale though, that isn't relevant.

I think sometimes it's because if you own you can do stuff to it. And then that opens up more conversations about DIY gardening etc. in the same vein - if you were renting and having problems I know an awful lot about rental law and might be able to help. It's probably not about judgement. And nowadays owning is a massive achievement if it's something you want and so be proud!

This is very odd. Lying about buying a house and over thinking it. It’s really not a big deal or something to lie about.

I agree OP and I'm finding some of the responses weird on this thread.

So, a friend moves house and they tell you excitedly they are moving and what, the VERY first thing some people would say is: "do you rent it or own it?"- I mean, WTF, thats really bloody rude.

Also, why on earth would people in the neighbourhood treat you differently depending on if you rent or own? I have no clue whether half the people in my road own or rent and it wouldnt occur to me that I ought to be treating them differently because thats snobbish AF.

I understand your reaction OP- I think its fine to discuss these things but it should be info offered by the person- to fire questions at them about their financial situations is rude no matter how you look at it. I get why their intrusive question made you think you wouldnt give them anything

What is the general demographic of the people asking?

I wonder if it is either
"I say, are you awful renters who won't care about the maintenance and turn the house into a ghetto? "
Or just as bad
"We rent, everyone here rents, are you stuck up snobs who own? Dont get ideas above yourself"

How was my response aggressive? OP stated that it was casual acquaintances asking personal questions about her living arrangements which is really no one else’s business!

I think people ask and like to talk about buying a home because for a lot of people who have bought a house it’s a big thing for them and causes a lot of stress what with the extra fees and worries about whether the chain will last etc.
For me it’s a really boring topic… but I have never bought a home!
I do get your feelings, OP… I find it annoying when people use the words “….or are you still renting?” because the word “still” in this context implies I am in a position waiting for the next inevitable stage of life. They don’t consider that perhaps renting suits me better.
In your situation, I agree it’s not anyone’s business, but I suppose they might look on Right Move and see that it’s been bought – and it’s going to seem weird that you’ve outright lied. So I would be truthful next time someone asks (or even drop it in conversation with the people who’ve already asked and who you lied to), and just keep it brief and general – say that you were renting it and then the landlord offer for you to buy it. There’s absolutely no reason for you to have to explain that you used cash and bought it outright. People will presume you’ve got a mortgage. If anyone then wants to go into more deep conversation with you on it, you can just change the subject I’m sure.

I’m with you OP - it’s a social status question in their eyes. I had someone ask me how much I sold my house for - when I declined to say they pushed on it and I felt very uncomfortable. I didn’t feel their question was understanding of my situation and I expected better from a friend. There was context and context determines how you feel when it’s asked and what you think their intentions are in having that info.

I understand and agree that it's an intrusive question, but also it's a bit weird to lie.

If you're not comfortable answering then you have two options -

1. Just tell them you don't normally discuss finances outside family
2. Be vague, say that you own, don't give further details

Answering untruthfully is just a bit strange, not sure why you would say you're renting when you're not.

This sort of answer is why so many posters come on MN wondering why they have no friends 😮💀

it’s a really aggressive response to a perfectly normal piece of small talk

The next time anyone asks that question simply reply ‘why do you need to know?’ And shut the conversation down.
It is no one else’s business whether you buy or rent and reading your post you seem to have prioritised matters very well. Good luck in your new home 💐

People ask because buying a house is an exciting milestone and so somewhat celebratory.

it also suggests a permanece in the community that people like to tap into, especially if you’re not from the local area.

in terms of small talk it opens up a whole raft of additional topics to talk about around plans for the house: decorating, renovations, & repairs as well as an opportunity to complain about the process which for most people has at least some drama or irritation.

PS I have no idea if my friends bought outright or have a mortgage (unless it came up in conversation, like I know one friend has a mortgage cause all the Liz Truss stuff happened and she nearly didn't! So much drama!!) so that bit probably is TMI. But renting/buying is pretty normal small talk if you ask me.

Pp on this thread really underestimate how nosy people can be and how much information can be found online.

Paying for Land Registry information may say if there is a mortgage on the property, and give dates of change of ownership bur properties do get sold with tenants in situ.

Def over thinking but equally I’m shocked if that’s the right word that you had manage to save such a huge deposit , while renting to be able to buy it outright and no mortgage

but no need to say mortgage free. Just that you brought it

I would just tell them that's none of their business and quite rude of them to ask

I ask because my friends with children, who rent, it's super stressful because the landlord can decide they want to sell, kick them out, their lives are turned upside down, etc... Most of them have have wanted to buy for ages. Some don't because they might move again/want to put the money into a business and that's 100% their choice BUT ALSO the sort of interesting life thing you talk to your friends about?

So I wouldn't ask randomly out of nowhere, but if someone was moving, I'd ask if they're renting or buying because they're my friends and I want them to have a happier more stable life, I am interested in their wellbeing so I'd ask 🤷🏻‍♀️

Although tbh they would normally tell me before I asked because it's quite a normal thing to share and not a state secret or anything!!! You are being quite weird about this TBH...

We are long term renters. And I’m with you, OP. We found people asked us the same question last time we moved and also wondered why they did that. Whenever people we knew moved house (parents from school, colleagues etc), I’d never think to ask whether it was a purchase.

I have long held the view that they think we are second class because of our housing situation. And I hate it. But I do think to some degree that’s my hatred towards my situation making me paranoid about people’s views.

Yes, it is mildly intrusive but still falls very much within normal small talk. I would feel comfortable telling them what happened (without any of the financial detail). If they then asked how you funded it - well that would be intrusive and I would not be answering. Saying you bought it outright would be quite the overshare to the original question.

It sounds like you maintain a healthy gap between your spending and your income and are disciplined savers. No keeping up with the Joneses. You’re probably going to have to get used to people making [incorrect] assumptions about your finances without correcting them. Yes, some people do say things in a certain way so you get an inkling that they are being nosy/levelling you. I’m mid fifties and I have collected a lot of anecdotes now…

Just say you own it. No need to divulge any more. I own my house outright, only a handful of people know. I'm sure other people do by now was well (age 50).