Need to uninvite someone from a girls weekend

The boys are 17

Omg, so not school mums at all 🤦🏻‍♀️ How would this affect the boys friendship? They are virtually adults themselves … and very likely think you are all a bunch of embarrassing idiots!!

This all sounds horrible and bitchey id cancel the whole thing, but then a girly school mum weekend away sounds like my idea of hell!!

This sounds like hell … why would anyone go to this?!? Just cancel the thing!

Looks like youve made up your mind it is just all her doing. Is that really the case? It takes at least two to have an argument. I think you have 2 options

1. Cancel whole thing.
2. Let it go ahead and hopefully everyone can behave like grown ups. If some drop out then so what. If it kicks off stay out of it.

Sounds like the mums are still at school. What horrible behaviour and definitely mean girl streak to even contemplate uninviting someone.

I’m very confused. You’ve made the booking, but then said that everyone is responsible for their own accommodation.
Regardless, just ask everyone for their contribution towards the cost, with a strict deadline, to secure their place, and see what transpires. Sounds as if she’ll drop out anyway.

Put a note out to everyone saying that the deposit has been paid and you will need reimbursed for that before 3 August. I think you'll find a few drop out then, and you will have a better idea of what you're dealing with.

If it goes ahead as far as possible don't share lifts so that if anyone wants to go home they can.

I thought exactly the same thing. What does that mean?

The principle of pull out = pay, kicked out = don’t pay, is sound BUT I wouldn’t be sending any messages.

OP’s best bet is to say nothing & if anyone raises it, stick with she booked the group as agreed, she expects everyone to pay their share, & she’s not involved in any of the fallings out but she’s sure everyone will get on fine or stay out of each other’s way if they can’t be civil.

If anyone chooses not to come, that’s entirely their choice but they still have to pay OP.

If anyone wants to suggest someone else forfeits their place, they are free to figure out a way OP isn’t out of pocket, but OP isn’t getting involved.

If anyone drops out & refuses to pay up, I know in my friendship group we’d ask around for a last minute replacement, & failing that we’d shrug & split the total cost between the remainder of us.

If OP suspects her group wouldn’t do that & she’d end up eating the loss, all the more reason not to put herself in a ‘well you started this with that stupid message Appealing For Calm’ position.

Exactly

Butlins Adults? Sounds awful.

Plus, their lads are 17!

I bet this is one of those Adults Only Party Weekends at Butlins. Separate accom for groups enjoying a weekend away together.

OP, cancel. I’m sure you’ll be able to resell the tix.

FWIW, I’m still best friends with a small group of mums I met when the children were babies. We’ve been on holidays, weekends etc together. Both as mums as well as with husbands and kids. They’re my ‘village’.

In her shoes I would view it as dodging a bullet. The whole thing sounds ridiculous and childish - I would rather spend a weekend with friends, than with a group of people who just happen to have children in the same class - of course there's going to be friction. These forced friendship situations never end well.

I'm just coming here to flag what a relief it is that most people can see what was wrong with the OP's original approach, and that the OP listened.

Just because a person finds themselves in conflict with more than one other, it doesn't mean they're the one at fault. Some people might remember the (reverse) thread from a few weeks ago where the OP was supposedly taking the side of her bullying friend "Emma" against the saintly "Anna", purely in the interests of an easy life. In that scenario, it would have been "Anna" who was at risk of being considered the problem and uninvited from a group trip.

This felt a little like the same instinct at the start, only without being a reverse- OP grabbing at a solution that would ostracise one person and most likely hurt them very much.

I'm glad you've thought better of this, @OITNB- and I hope it all works out.

Spot on. Cancel this. Then later when things have run their course do an event for one group or the other.

I would do the same, and I would make a mental note never ever to get involved with anything like this again, a large group of people who are not close friends or related going away together, unless you can feel relaxed about possible falling outs and afford to lose your deposit if it goes pear shaped!

Um, their other parent?

Who did you think, the childcare fairy?

I'd message her and ask her what her plans are, given the tension.

What was the "behaviour"?

Hi Group,

As I am the one who did the booking and paid the deposit so I'm here to address the issue of the recent tensions in the group before the upcoming weekend.

I wasn't involved in the fallings out and I'd prefer to stay that way. I appreciate it is stressful all round and hoping it can be sorted amongst the parties concerned.

Regarding the weekend away I'm not happy to have to 'choose sides' and make any changes to the list of attendees. I really hope this can all get sorted.

The house will need to be paid for and I think this is the fairest suggestion -
If anyone pulls out they are still liable for their share.
If anyone is asked to not attend everyone else will have to cover their cost.

This is a really sticky spot I'm in. If anyone has better suggestions on how to be fair I'd love to hear them.

No-one in RL books a house share for a group of school mums, do they? Who’s looking after their kids?

I enjoyed the bonus extra about the wronged party suing another school mum but that storyline wouldn’t even work in Amandaland. 😂

Mum's/girls/girlie weekends away... I now understand why social media content, "I live alone with no friends" is really taking off.

I’d cancel the whole thing.