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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think my boyfriend’s comment was unnecessary?

69 replies

Haalan · 24/07/2026 22:32

For dinner tonight we had a meal from the chip shop. We shared a bag of chips amongst other things. The portions are genuinely massive so there’s plenty for two people.

I didn’t want that many chips but I like the small, crispy chips. I said this to my boyfriend- that I really only like the ‘small and thin ones’ - he replied ‘don’t we all?’

I am very tall and well built. I am not massive but I’m certainly not thin. My BF’a ‘type’ is petite women. Obviously I do not fit his ideal.

i asked him what he meant by this and he said that he was talking about the chips. However not ten seconds before, he’d been saying that he wasn’t bothered and liked all of it. He acknowledged that he knew that what he said could be interpreted as him talking about women.

Aibu to think his comment was unnecessary and that there’s no need for him to say this to me?

He thinks that I am being unreasonable.

OP posts:
TidyNewt · 26/07/2026 20:53

You are NOT being unreasonable, that’s an awful comment to make.

Amiiee · 26/07/2026 20:35

Sandalsandbreadsticks · 26/07/2026 19:17

plausible deniability is the whole point of these snide throwaway comments

Can't say you're wrong there

Ohyeahohno · 26/07/2026 19:27

It does sound like he is making a dig at you. You are not stupid and you know what he means.

Haalan · 26/07/2026 19:24

Thanks everyone. He swears that he only meant the chips so I have to leave it because otherwise I’m going to look insane.

I will keep my eyes open though. Thanks for some of the comments - they’ve made me smile.

OP posts:
OwlCalledSage · 26/07/2026 19:24

Nasty of him. He knew exactly what he was saying.

Gardenisablooming · 26/07/2026 19:22

You should have found the biggest chip and ate it suggestively whilst announcing big is best..

BuildbyNumbere · 26/07/2026 19:22

Haalan · 24/07/2026 22:42

Maybe I am being over sensitive - thank you for your opinions. 🙂

No, he meant want you think he meant! Nasty.

BuildbyNumbere · 26/07/2026 19:21

Next time order a large saveloy … pick it up and say “if only everything was as impressive”

HumbleKatey · 26/07/2026 19:20

Haalan · 24/07/2026 22:32

For dinner tonight we had a meal from the chip shop. We shared a bag of chips amongst other things. The portions are genuinely massive so there’s plenty for two people.

I didn’t want that many chips but I like the small, crispy chips. I said this to my boyfriend- that I really only like the ‘small and thin ones’ - he replied ‘don’t we all?’

I am very tall and well built. I am not massive but I’m certainly not thin. My BF’a ‘type’ is petite women. Obviously I do not fit his ideal.

i asked him what he meant by this and he said that he was talking about the chips. However not ten seconds before, he’d been saying that he wasn’t bothered and liked all of it. He acknowledged that he knew that what he said could be interpreted as him talking about women.

Aibu to think his comment was unnecessary and that there’s no need for him to say this to me?

He thinks that I am being unreasonable.

He just came out with a joke spontaneously,

Sandalsandbreadsticks · 26/07/2026 19:17

Amiiee · 24/07/2026 22:39

I don't think you could prove this wasn't about the fries

plausible deniability is the whole point of these snide throwaway comments

SmashThePatriarchy · 26/07/2026 19:15

Next time order sausage and chips. When he asks for the big fat long one…..

Anyahyacinth · 26/07/2026 19:11

Just be aware and if it happens again, you've got a negger, negging going on...his insecurities

EmmaB1309 · 26/07/2026 19:01

Given the context that you’ve provided, yanbu to think this was not about chips. He’s a rude, entitled cunt to keep going on that you’re not his type. Is he yours? Maybe time to remind him that cheeky little twats with small dicks (or whatever else might be relevant to include here) are not exactly your type either.

LuckyHazelFox · 26/07/2026 19:00

Ah, he's one of those insecure men who prefer petite women. Ever asked yourself why?

NiftyFawn · 26/07/2026 18:57

If this isn't a one off comment then it is not a joke . Don't let someone belittle you and knock you're confidence . You deserve to be loved by you're partner , not compared to other women. Sly jokes are not funny

Kimmers4334 · 26/07/2026 15:53

Haalan · 24/07/2026 22:40

He admitted that he knew that one of the interpretations was that he was talking about woman. He then said that he thought it would be amusing.

Either he has a shit sense of humour or he is doing a weird type of negging that an ex used to do. E.g. I’d had a bad night’s sleep, he walked into the kitchen and said “God, you’re such a mess”. When I questioned his rudeness, he claimed he was talking to the hob…

It chips away at your self esteem and makes you feel a bit crazy that you are always taking someone’s weird “jokes” so personally. Is this the first time he’s said something like this or have there been other times?

PollyBell · 25/07/2026 03:08

I don't always 100% say everything right myself and may have made jokes that didnt work i am human just like a man is why do men have to be more perfect than me?

But people will be treated the way they let and people can label this what they want but put up with crap you get crap

Dozer · 25/07/2026 02:58

In what other ways is he ‘constantly’ communicating to you that he has a ‘type’ (petite/thin6 and that you’re not it?

Don’t date a man who objectifies women and ‘negs’ you.

DysmalRadius · 25/07/2026 02:09

Haalan · 24/07/2026 22:33

I will admit that all of this sounds like we are 15 but we are actually in our 40s/50s.

I just feel like he is constantly reminding me that I’m not his ideal type.

Does he actively remind you of this often, or is it comments that could be taken either way? Because on the face of it, it sounds like you're overreacting to a very common (albeit lame) joke, but if it's part of a pattern of him being unpleasant, then you should just ditch him.

ElenOfTheWays · 25/07/2026 01:41

AppropriateAdult · 24/07/2026 23:01

It sounds like one of those jokes that was just asking to be made - I’m not sure you can take it as a real reflection of his preferences around women.

Except OP clearly says that this what he constantly tells her.

ElenOfTheWays · 25/07/2026 01:36

Haalan · 24/07/2026 22:33

I will admit that all of this sounds like we are 15 but we are actually in our 40s/50s.

I just feel like he is constantly reminding me that I’m not his ideal type.

He sounds like a knob. I wouldn't keep seeing a man who said shit like this. He's basically telling you he's "settling" whereas the truth is, it's YOU who's settling. Find a man who adores you and is bloody grateful every day for the wonder that you are. I wouldn't accept anything less and neither should you. This guy doesn't deserve you and isn't nearly good enough for you.

Ruthietuthie · 25/07/2026 01:14

I thought he was talking about penises.
If you liked him and things were well, you might laugh (or tell him not to be disgusting, but still know it was a joke). If he doesn't treat you kindly or is always criticizing you, it would hurt.
Whether you feel hurt or not is a reflection on the overall relationship.

ClawsandEffect · 25/07/2026 01:10

Haalan · 24/07/2026 22:33

I will admit that all of this sounds like we are 15 but we are actually in our 40s/50s.

I just feel like he is constantly reminding me that I’m not his ideal type.

Been there @Haalan. It's shit and I'd start reminding him how physically, HE wouldn't be your first choice either.

Fucking men.

Skippythemeh · 25/07/2026 01:06

My boyfriend would have made a penis joke if I said that, with a fake hurt look. But we’re childish like that - mumsnetters don’t usually approve of that kind of joke!

I’d really let this go. You said something, there was low hanging fruit there for a joke, he made it. Who actually cares?

Ouuuuccchhhh · 25/07/2026 00:17

You should’ve said “except when it comes to penises but we don’t always get what we want” 🤣🤣