Was MIL the AH at my wedding?

His parents were supposed to book the cars for the wedding. That is what they offered to do as a gift. They didn't bother but told us they did. So he had to book a taxi last minute. He can and does stand up to his mum. Thankfully she has calmed down as she has gotten older, but she pulled the same shit has her daughters wedding. Weddings seem to make some people go a bit crazy.

Congratulations on your nuptials.
Don't let this be anything more than an amusing story to tell in years to come.
One of my friends had the MIL turn up in full on white bridal...

Sounds like she has a personality disorder, the crying and demanding attention is not ok. Who gives a shit if her outfit clashed?

Red and white have been considered crass for at least 50 years.

Absolutely fine. Just bored with the continually changing and entirely arbitrary rules about what can and what cannot be worn at weddings, as over the years the cannot wear and it means x about the wearer list has expanded so much that it doesn't matter what a woman wears, somebody will complain about it being a terrible faux pas if not a deliberate attack upon The Bride.

I'd have pointed out that marrying your brother is both disgusting and illegal.

@ellie09

Sorry to be playing Pollyanna here, but just be 'glad' that it happened at your wedding and your DH wants to go right now NC as a result. Better that than some of the threads where spouses are putting up with that behaviour from their MiLs for years and can't get their spouses to 'see the light'.

Support him in NC in every loving way you can. And remember your wedding was just one day. Your marriage is for the rest of your days. Be happy and don't let 'just one day' ruin the 'rest of your days'. Let it go and never speak of it again.

First two points are petty. She can wear what she likes and she didn’t make your son late so they’re no biggie.

YANU, except for calling your husband your "partner"!

Oh dear. Someone's mummy didn't want to let her little boy go.

At least he sees what she's like. Imagine if he was sticking up for her, like many husbands do when MILs have upset their wives.

she should be allowed to, yes, which make the behaviour of that MIL from hell even more unacceptable.

Shouldn't a bride be busy enjoying her special day to notice others 'misdemeanours'?

She sounds mentally ill to me or has Main Character syndrome. Shocking childish behaviour and very unkind to behave like that at your wedding

This. Clothes don’t matter. Not good to get drunk though. 🙄

I think you'll all calm down. Was she a bit petty and annoying, yes. Also, we're you a tiny bit high maintainance, possibly - I would never have dreamed of insisting on a colour for my mum/mils dresses, they don't have to match the bridal party (they even asked if I cared and told them to go wild and wear something they loved). Likewise, taking photos of your son on his wedding day is lovely, dh should've just said "sorry really have to go now" and run, plus he wasn't actually late, so non issue. She shouldn't have got wasted and caused a scene/been rude to your family, but it's not the end of the world really - perhaps she has a problem, perhaps this wedding has triggered her, perhaps she is a drama queen - who knows. Remember all the beautiful memories and happy moments. You weren't in the wrong, she's clearly "challenging". I'd just support dh with whatever he chooses to do re contact/managing her, it's his job to do that really and your job to be there for him. Don't let it cloud your lovely day, and don't hold too much against her, it's not the best MiL behaviour but it's also not the worst I've heard of, and I think when the dust settles it'll all go back to fairly - so don't do anything drastic that needs undoing later when everything calms down!

My MIL is a bit like this. She has severe undiagnosed ADHD. She has to be the centre of attention and sabotage other people’s happiness. She exaggerates and manipulates so she controls the narrative. She is a narcissist in many ways.

you won’t change the behaviour. Just set your boundaries and dont give her any of your time/attention/focus.

Yes agreed

the only thing that you mentioned that was ott was all her family leaving with her ? Really half the guest all upped and left with her on her say so ????

And this…

1. Kept my partner back in the morning when he visited despite him saying he really needed to leave to get to the venue, to the point he was almost late - just so she could get photos

Of course she wanted photos of her son on his wedding day!

Did you not have photos of the groom, groomsman and his family, taken as he got prepared for his wedding, photos with his dad, photos setting off?

Did you have photos at home, with your bridesmaids, your family, your dad as you left the house?

We have no photos of our son with his dad, or with just his dad and I on his wedding day. Very sad!

Fuck no. Not a bridezilanin rhe slightest.

@ellie09 support yoir DH in going AND he wants try us and it’s grace for him to see the light and do so. My Asha wanted NC and I encouraged him to keep contact against my better judgement and i severely regret it now

What's a doozy?

You lost me at the first point about her dress not matching the bridal party. That’s just nonsense.

But the rest was unreasonable.

I'm sure there are nightmare daughter in laws, father in laws, brothers, husbands etc.
I wonder if it had been the grooms father getting drunk it wouldn't have raised so many eyebrows?

I often defend MILs but she was very much out of order. In your situation I wouldn’t do anything now. If your husband doesn’t want to see her that’s up to him and between them, don’t get involved in it.
If anyone tries to talk to you about it tell them they’ll have to speak to your husband as it’s his mother.

Are you defending the MIL here that tried to make her son late for his own wedding, got trashed then encouraged her family to leave the wedding early?

So funny, even funnier that some don’t get it 🤣