Should partner leave his club over sexual messages

Him leaving the club would be irrelevant to me as the relationship would be over.

Why are you staying with him?

It sounds like he must have felt very confident those messages would be well received so it begs the question what else went on

Plus the messages alone are so grim

Oh god, I’d have to leave him for his cringeworthy messages alone. “Buy bigger shorts” ew ew ew ew ew what a knob! If a man sent me that I’d die of secondhand embarrassment.

The comment re: the chair is so creepy. You deserve better

I’d leave him if he sent those messages to ME let alone anyone else. Just gross. 🤢

Apart from his cringey shit attempts at flirting, he clearly doesn’t respect your relationship so fuck him off and do some work to try and understand why you’re willing to work on a relationship with such an absolute loser.

No way would I get past this. This is who he is

I’d leave him. My ex-husband started like this and eventually it progressed to physical affairs. If I’d left when it first started I wouldn’t have spent the following five years in a high state of alert, eventually justified by his actions. Get out of it, he’s shown you who he is now - don’t waste any more of your years on him, we only have so many.

‘She got his number from the WhatsApp group’.
so she’s to blame, femme fatale, lured him in?
what a loser, let him go.

The intent to cheat is the key factor. If he’d joined Tinder would you even be debating? I’ve stayed with a cheater and learned my lesson the hard way.

Even if he leaves the club and joins another he could be leering at someone else there. It’s not the club, it’s his boundaries and lack of respect for you that are the issue. How do you ever look at him again or trust him after this?

I'd dump him for his crass attempts at flirting if nothing else.

@Rachibe did he come clean and tell you as he realised what he was doing was wrong and wanted to be upfront with you? Or did you catch him and then it’s all it’s a stupid mistake… if you caught him and you’re not married/no kids. No no coming back. If he came clean was honest and wants to work through why he was messaging someone else then maybe yes you can come back from it. I’d be wondering what would have happened if you hadn’t of caught him.

I’d be telling him to leave the house not his club.

If she's just sending emojis, maybe the feelings aren't reciprocal. Not that it makes what he's done any better.

Start making plans to leave. You deserve better.

If I were you, I'd never be able to look at him the same way again. It doesn't matter if he stays at the club or not; what matters is that you leave this disrespectful and, quite honestly, creepy and immature man.

What were her responses to his texts btw?

It's funny how any time ever that a woman catches her husband or partner messaging some other women, it's always miraculously before anything physical has happened!

I think you're being very naive

Ah sorry I missed your question.

I think unless he voluntarily leaves the club without you asking, you should leave him.

That behaviour will tell you everything you need to know actually.

How can you ever look at him in the same way after seeing those messages?

My, I would struggle with this.

I guess a lot depends on DH’s response and future behaviour.

If he deletes her number, no longer sees her (gives up
padel or changes club) blocks her, shows a lot of remorse and is generally amazing for a good amount of time, I suppose it may work. But you’d need to believe and trust him and I’m not sure if I could after those comments.

Less emotional affair and more disgusting sleaze surely? Whether he stays at the club or not wouldn't be my immediate worry. Whether I stay in the relationship would be. Could you ever look at him in the same light again?

Exactly, at best hes cheating, at worst sexually harrassing someone

He HAS done something. He’s betrayed you and disrespected your relationship. That’s a very big thing.

He’s got no respect for you. He’s trying to see if she’s interested. Disgusting from a man who is supposedly in a relationship. Absolutely binable offence.

Dump him fgs. He cannot be trusted at all.