Do you believe in this often said term?

I prefer to think that there are many routes to happiness/success, and one not working out doesn't mean there aren't other options. You just need to work out what they are and follow another one.

Not at all

No.

Some of the reasons are fucking horrible.

this

I don’t believe in fate. But I do think opportunity comes in many different forms, and bad news like yours can ultimately end up being an opportunity eg if it comes with a big payout, or maybe it gives you the impetus to do something different with your work life.

Fate is passive - I prefer to be an active participant in whatever happens next.

Everything is just temporary the only thing thats guaranteed is death.

No, it's just what people say to try and make sense of bad situations.

You can always come up with a "reason" once time passes and things transpire, but you can never know for sure whether things going differently in the past would have made things better or worse for you in the long term.

For example, you lose your job and buy a scratch card and win £20,000 on the way home - you wouldn't have left that early if you hadn't been sacked, so wouldn't have bought that particular card.. so is that why you got sacked? Did the universe know?

But you would never know if, had you NOT been sacked, you would have been offered a huge promotion from a competitor who noticed you at a work event, which would bring more money in the long term.

So a "good thing" doesn't mean "better things" couldn't have happened if things had gone differently.

No, absolutely not.

I’d love all those who agree with it explain to the rest us what the reason is that babies die and children get cancer etc

I bet they wouldn’t say it to the face of a grieving parent.

It’s a really shitty saying.

Really awful things happen to people but it certainly isn’t due to fate or destiny and the only reason people have to go through awful times is because that just the way the world works.

No. Could be worse though - someone once tried to reassure me with 'It's God's will.' All that made me think was: 'If that's His will, He's a cunt.'

No it's a very silly ( and sometimes thoughtless) phrase that I can't stand!

No, But the twee phrase that has got me through some tough times is “ Everything will be ok in the end, and if it’s not OK, it’s not the end”.

Well I believe it in as much as the 'reason' being that sometimes life is just shit.

My dad always used to say 'When one door closes, another one opens'. Always cheers me up. Was a great bloke (Terrible cabinet maker though).

No, I don't. If people find this a comforting thought in relation to their own lives, fair enough. But they need to be mindful of the risk of coming across as irritating and lacking in empathy if they react to the bad luck of others in this way.

No

It is a rubbish term. But I have been through redundancies myself- and known many people who have too- and I can't think of anyone who wasn't better off where they ended up once the dust settled. It wasn't easy going through the unsettlement of the changes though and there are no guarantees.

Wishing you all the best of luck with whatever is going on with you OP.

Not really. I prefer 'You will somehow get through this' as a philosophy. Whatever happens, time will keep ticking, I will do something, my life will go on.

No.

I do think you can often see with hindsight that things worked out better that way. Eg breaking up with my fiance was horrendous at the time, but with hindsight good things led from it, which otherwise wouldn't have happened.

Similarly, we lost our house purchase but ended up with a better one.

My Mum lost her job, but met my step-dad in her new job (which also paid better).

But some things are so awful that it would be truly offensive to say "everything happens for a reason". You might live through it, but never truly get over it.

No I don’t. It is true that sometimes something suboptimal can turn out to have positive outcomes not apparent at the time. But clearly this doesn’t apply to everything. So saying all things happen for a reason can be very insensitive. But obviously people are just trying to be helpful even though it’s not.

Well there's a reason why everything happens I suppose. Didn't get the job? Reason, someone else applied they liked more or you weren't a good fit.
I don't think things happen because there's an unknown mystical force at play directing your life though.

I hate it when people use the term as a form of comfort but I do believe that where you are now is where you’re meant to be. I do often say ‘whatever is meant for you will not pass you by’ which is probably just as pathetic.

No pile of pish..ooo redundancy is so much fun
Like fuck it is when you're 50+ and no fucker wants you

I prefer "what's for you won't pass by you" - I can't quite articulate why but it feels more positive than everything happens for a reason.

No, but I do think you can learn and grow from most shitty life situations and then look back and think ‘that wasn’t so bad, I wouldn’t be where I am now if that hadn’t happened ’, which can make it feel like it ‘happened for a reason’, even if logically that’s a load of old shit.

(I don’t mean deaths and terrible tragedies, btw, but job losses, relationships ending etc.)

Its nonsense. And its very unhelpful.