I need your help mums :(

There’s no bed like mummy’s bed

Allll my boys have just been little shites with sleep. Likewise nothing worked and hate to say nothing did change until school age. Have a cup of coffee or my gp to was a monster energetic drink 😂 he’s 20 months so your nearly there xx

How do you get him to sleep? Does he breastfeed? What time is bedtime, naptime, wake ups?

I'd focus on getting the timings spot on first. I liked the Huckleberry sleep schedules to figure out what were typical wake windows and nap lengths by age. I made one tweak after reading these when my son was 17 months, he night weaned off breastfeeding and started sleeping through, it was amazing. Here's the 20 month one:

https://huckleberrycare.com/blog/20-month-old-sleep-schedule-bedtime-and-nap-schedule?utm_source=google_ads&utm_campaign=google_pmax_premiumLP&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23899893725&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIiP6_vJ3ulQMVV49QBh3dpi-qEAAYASAAEgJ4svD_BwE

He's almost 4 years old now and mostly sleeps through :)

But she’s not there for them now because she’s spending hours trying to get the LO down and she’s running on no sleep? Honestly I’d just let them snuggle up to you if you all get some more rest that way, can’t understand torturing yourself. Sleep training doesn’t work for all babies, they’re wired to need closeness.

@pleasesomeone I hear you and you know you are able to.parent well because you have done it thrice before.

I'd get him checked at the GP, ears, airways, etc. I'd also no underestimate the paun some children have from teething. Have you tried calpol at bed time?

DD was similar and didn't sleep through until 4ish. She couldn't settle without me near her. Sleep training did not work, those for whom it did will raise their eyebrows because they don't understand. Ditto those who think bf is a breeze and a choice.

DD is 28 now. At 16 she was diagnosed with GAD (and depression and ADD). Looking back it all made sense and I wish I'd just let her nuzzle with me in the early years. It would have been better for both of us.

Having said that, she's fine. A fully functional adult with a professional job who manages her conditions but the markers were there from the beginning.

This too shall pass and meanwhile with love.

Hire a sleep consultant.

another one for banging down the door of GP and don’t give up.

It sounds like something medical that is waking him up when lying down (asthma/breathing, epilepsy, reflux). All which probably take a long time to diagnose in an infant but which once identified probably have medicine solutions to help you both get some rest. My dd was similar and it was both asthma and reflux. Good luck. Hang in there.

Dairy allergies causing enlarged adenoids?
Tongue tie or poor tongue suction blocking airway, Myofunctional assessment.

Difficult birth try cranial osteopath, I know a great guy in London.

You poor thing, it sounds so miserable.

Is there another adult living in the household, who can oversee the children so you have a good sleep regularly?

Gina ford sleep method?

Youre not crazy and it’s not your fault

Mine was the same, he was later diagnosed with ASD. Looking back I think it was sleep apnea but at the time i had no idea and the GP and specialist we saw were frankly no help at all.

Oh we coslept and it caused no issues whatsoever later.

2 of my littles have suffered ENT issues and woke a lot, my youngest was constantly waking and co-sleeping about 1yr old. We already used black out curtains and a white noise machine. I realised he was actually so restless he was kicking off his covers then getting cold and waking. I got sleeping sacks again and he slowly went back to sleeping right through. I think though if your little is constantly sleep deprived a doctors visit is probably the best course of action x

I don't have any advice, just sending you support. You sound like a very thoughtful and loving mum trying so many possible solutions on such little sleep that your own mind will be struggling. 💐

It really doesnt work for every child it’s not just that he needs support for sleep. He’s not actually sleeping much at all.

And you say ‘give in’ but just cosleep until he’s older

Mine was the same. Now diagnosed autistic. Also didnt realise he had sleep apnoea that woke him constantly.

Keep him up with you and the rest of the family. At your bedtime, Sleep in his room with him on a floor bed. Make sure it’s safe, and let him potter and sleep through as he wishes. He’ll fall into a routine if you are there. I found that I could sleep/doze much better because I didn’t have to go anywhere to see to him, or worry about his safety. He’ll start to regulate according to your routine.

Have a look online at The Sleep Charity

Check tonsils/airway/mouth breathing and consider if he has sort of allergy that could be causing night time discomfort. Also consider if there’s anything significant in his developmental history that needs support or consideration. I’m not against sleep training at all but if there are any underlying factors impacting sleep these need to be looked at first. Are they very high energy?

But are you following the methods strictly. Extending the time you leave for before you go back in gradually?

I would not sleep train or do any of that at all. Go to the GP and see what they say. I would also say you may need a second opinion depending on how seriously you feel the GP has taken the issue. I would emphasise the unusual factors of the situation and that you have other children so are not a stranger to this.

Possibly the children's centre may also be able to offer some support or links to a network?

Have you tried gradually moving away from him at bed time? With my DD I led next to her cot for a few nights holding her hand to sooth her, then a few nights next to the cot with no touch, few nights other side of the room, few nights at the door. Initially it was until she fell asleep but when she was settling better I'd leave before she fell asleep.
I know it's very early but it could be a sign of autism. My friends DS never slept, he's recently been diagnosed with autism, he's been prescribed melatonin and it's been life changing for the whole family. I'm not sure it would be prescribed for such a young child but it's worth getting in touch with the health visitor and asking for an early 2 year review, this includes the screening tests that could indicate a referral for assessment.

Because she shouldn’t get in a bad habit of lying there for an hour or two when 3 other kids need her.
i co - slept with my eldest and he needed me to fall asleep, and woke up frequently checking for me! Utter hell.