To not let DS (15) sleep out again?

I think it is unusual to expect the mums contact number when the dc are 15 years old.
Primary age, yes.
Getting home at 6am is weird though and I'd suspect that they had been out all night rather than at friends house.

You said the friend has just mum at home, but your DS said friend's dad came home and it was "awkward".

How could the dad come home if friend lives just with mum?

Has the dad turned up at the house at 5am and caused a scene?

Or is this all a lie because they've been out and about all night and something has happened that your son is unhappy about, meaning he's walked home at 5am?

His coming home early in the morning because of his friend's father suddenly appearing is a bit odd.

I wonder whether the man was drunk and turned up unexpectedly.

Could you send the boy's Mum a Friend Request on Facebook?

He’s 15. I had no clue about parents numbers when DD was in senior school. Not sleeping when he was sleeping over is ridiculous.

Some of his behaviour is very odd though. Not inviting him over to yours. And turning up when the dad came home. My guess is this boy is more than a friend, the boys mum knows that and is accepting of it, he’s worried you won’t be, and the dad isn’t happy about it.

I’d say they are either not at the friends house and using sleeping over at each others to cover it, or the mum is not actually there, perhaps working nights.

my DD is slightly older but i only had one parents number so we could co-ordinate lifts it is embarrassing at 15 for a "hi I'm X's Mum " text
turning up at 5am I would think something happenned my DD knows she can call me at anytime if she needs rescued she has location on her phone she doesn't switch it off I very very rarely check it

I would want a number, he is 15 and your responsibility. Three years before uni and these are years where you allow more freedom, independence and growing up but not suddenly and not when you are not sure where he actually is overnight.
It all does sound a bit strange. Could he be using this friend as a cover for seeing the girl he had a date with.
Everything is fine when kids are sleeping out until it isn’t.

Well if it was a dire emergency I guess the police could track someone down. I can honestly say when my kids were 15 I didn't know most of their friends parents, I had a vague idea of where they lived and definitely didn't have their phone numbers.

They don’t drink lots or get obviously high from weed now. They take that laughing gas and other such stuff. You wouldn’t see him high or drunk. It wears off pretty quickly. Sounds like he was out in a field somewhere rather than at his mates house.
Do you have his location on?

I think they mum might not actually be there. Hence the dad kicking him out when he came home.

I really don’t think you’re being unreasonable to ask for the mum’s number. I have three boys all now 18 and over. The youngest one had a friend whose mum contacted me when he was 16 and sleeping over to check it was ok. Have also had similar with other parents. I’ve always been happy to have a contact - so that if there is an issue I know who to contact.
There’s a massive difference between 15 and 18 away at uni.
I really don’t think any reasonable parent would mind a quick message checking its ok for the sleepover.

The mum's number doesn't seem a big deal to me either way, but what is odd is that he is SO determined not to get it for you that he'd prefer not to stay over rather than give you her number. And coming home so early in the morning is definitely strange. If he is gay, I would suspect they in the other lad's bedroom together and the dad found them and wasn't happy. But you don't think he's gay, so... no idea.

It’s weird to insist on contacting the mum in year 10 tbh. For a second point of contact, you could ask for the friend’s number and agree not to use it except in an emergency.

Coming home early is a bit odd. I’d worry that with your helicoptering he’s more likely to hide stuff from you. Be honest with yourself, if it was something medium bad (eg the dad seemed strange or in a bad mood) would you tell DS your pleased he’s shown you can trust him cos he made the choice to come home, or would you ban him from staying there again

Don’t send a letter that is weird. Your son is hiding something.

It's fair enough for him not to give out people's numbers without knowing them or asking permission.
But why on earth couldn't he just put the mum on the phone while he was in her house? Then just ask her name, check it's ok and ask her for the number?

Kids can be weird about stuff it's true. I think at that age I might've found that whole speak to mum thing a little cringe. But it's better surely than just constantly not being able to stay at someone's house.

I'd say he can still go there, but it's not acceptable to nerd to leave at 5am?! The dad can't be that horrible?

Obviously just speculating, but it sounds like they're more than friends. The other lad is probably out to his mum and doesn't want to risk you contacting her. And hence why the dad thing was awkward.

Can you compromise and have him on a app so u know where he is

I have had a similar thing with my DD14. She goes to this girls house but refuses to invite her here or let me speak to the mum. I actually got the mums number from another mum and did end up speaking to her via message but I get the impression that maybe we don’t share the same parenting style. I think my daughter and her friends can pretty much do what they want there - vaping, boys over in bedroom etc and she knows that she wouldn’t be allowed to do that at home.
Could you get the mums number from someone else?

When your child goes to uni they will be living on their own and you will be reliant on their mobile to contact them.

if they don’t want to talk to you then they can avoid your calls for months.

abd they certainly won’t be giving you the mobile of the mums of the people they are sleeping with.

you are very over protective

I did this as a teen, I'm ashamed to stay. Lots of my friends were allowed to stay out all night but I had a curfew because my parents were hugely unreasonable and overprotective and no fun at all (in fact, the exact parent I am now 😂)

I would always give the name of a friend that my parents knew enough to know was "safe" but not well enough to call the parents and expose the lie. They could be using each other as their excuse/ alibi, or the friend could be completely unaware so the idea of you calling his mum is mortifying.

I think it is a bit OTT at 15 to want the parents number. I've not had a text or text a parent for sleepovers since DD was 12/13. I understand it's different for you with your DS only recently starting to have sleepovers.
The early morning arrival after the first sleepover is odd, I'd be more concerned about that. Especially saying it was awkward because his dad got home. Why would the dad be going into the kids room at 5am. Either DS is lying or there's something off with the dad that made him feel uncomfortable.

I also wondered if he was gay and that was why he wasn't bringing the friend round to you. Maybe he doesn't want you to see them together incase you notice and he's just curious or unsure yet.

The friends mum might know or not. Maybe the dad is homophobic so it was best he left early.

Why do you drop him at the end of the road and not the house?