AIBU to expect my mum to cancel her gym session to look after my kids?

Naughty grandma looking after your children every week, naughty husband having to work 5 days a week, it sounds like your mum knows her boundaries good for her and she said she would come in the afternoon, maybe she doesnt want your bug, how do you think single parents manage when they are ill?

Why are you only mentioning your MIL and mother OP - do you and your partner not have dads?

I think it's a bit mean when you are ill especially as you can usually use a gym membership any day but it might also be that she's booked a particular session that she wants to do. She did say she was going to come afterwards.

But generally speaking, your kids, your responsibility. It always amazes me how so many people think that their parents should look after their kids for them.

You chose to have children - she is already helping out!

I’m sorry you are feeling ill, but I don’t think managing along during office hours for 4 days pw is too big an ask, especially as you would be entitled to a free nursery place for your three year old, so would just need to look after the baby for a lot of the time when you don’t have your husband to share parenting or your mum to help. You should be pleased your mum is looking after herself, if she is fit you are less likely to be called on to care for her. Someone I know had childcare help from the grandma, only in her early 60s, she was doing too much and had a heart attack.

She has help every week and all her mum said is she would come later. No one is denying raising children is challenging at times but why is the expectation here that their grandma should help but their own father is excused from parenting.

Their own father apparently.

But she turned down the help. Her mum actually said she would come in the afternoon but that wasn't good enough.
If she is that ill and 'D'H refuses to come home then surely she could have done the best she could to get through the morning, knowing mum would arrive later to take over.

Women on mumsnet are martyrs who think raising kids is a thing to be done alone and constantly complain about it.

In real life, everyone I know has had help and my mum would have definitely helped. It's the decent thing to do. YANBU.

I'm finding these replies a bit harsh. I'm in the same position as your mum and did childcare one and half days every week from one year old until they went to secondary school. Still do one day a week in school holidays. I would and did cancel the gym if there was an emergency such as illness. It wasn't very often and I could go to the gym another time. Still, it's up to your mum at the end of the day she's under no obligation, but my reply would have been a yes.

You made the choice to have kids based on getting help? Why have you had a second? I’m assuming your mum helped once a week when you had one so why have another one knowing what the level of help was?
It’s completely pathetic that two adults can’t manage two kids between them.

We probably should be able to but with rising rent, fuel and food, we unfortunately cannot

Oh so basically you think it's women's work. YABU.

I would expect your mum to help. Is your dad available?but it doesn't matter what your boss thinks, employees have rights.
https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

I'll be honest, I don't fully understand why you've got your mum helping you a full day a week if you're on maternity leave?

Bringing up kids is hard but we make it through. The days when we are sick become tv days.

We didn't have any help from either my parents or my husbands and, I won't lie, it was bloody tough. At one point I swore I would't let my own children struggle the way I did but by the time I retire, I'll be knackered (I'm pretty knackered now) and can't imagine looking after two small children for a whole day twice a week.

They gym will be important to your mother, there will be people there who she sees weekly and enjoys catching up with. She didn't say she wouldn't help, she said she'd help, this afternoon, after the gym. She's already gone through the stage of giving up everything for her children's' needs, why can't she have a few things for herself now?

Well your husband is bringing home £750 a week, maybe you could save some of it.

This has to be a reverse.

Do your father and Fil help too or is 'the village' solely reserved for women?

No I don’t have £150 in savings

But the father of these children is not pulling his weight!
The OP should be angry with HIM not her Mum

You don't have £150 in savings? If so then yes you could afford it.

it's hard enough to manage kids sickness, school or nursery holidays etc, so no it's not NORMAL for an adult to have to leave work because the other adult is a bit under the weather 😂

She offered to come later. Why did you dismiss that? She probably won’t bother again.

WOW - how very entitled...

I hate how on Mumsnet you are not expected to get any help from your mum or mil. I feel so lucky that both my mum and mil have helped us out. My children have a lovely relationship with them. We never took the piss but they would both help out when needed. I will do the same for my kids. Takes a village and all that!

You are very lucky to have help every Tuesday. Many people, myself included, don’t get that. Your DCs are yours and your DHs responsibility. When either of us or DCs are sick, we take it in turns to care for them.