AIBU to expect my mum to cancel her gym session to look after my kids?

And the issue doesn't lie just solely with my mum. If your friend, relative or anyone asked for some help cause they were desperate, you're telling me you would be like 'i'm busy' with the gym. Or you would say 'well you chose to have children!'. 'Use contraception next time'.

And yet you didn't ask your father, MIL or father in law for help and you chose to start a thread online to criticise the one person who actually does support you. That says a lot about how you feel about your mum.

This! I was more polite in my very similar reply. Lots of people here who obviously get no support sadly from family who are then triggered by your Post.

If i were you I would get the heck off mums net, know you are not being unreasonable whatsoever to ask your Mum to help when you are ill and then to feel hurt when she prioritised the gym.

Turn off your phone now and let these toxic people vent amongst themselves.

Mumsnet is batshit on this stuff. I knew before reading replies that you’d be bollocked for expecting your mother to be supportive and your husband would be expected to drop everything because there is zero comprehension from many that not all people work in jobs where they can take a day off every time they need to. It’s really selfish of your mum to prioritise a gym session over her ill daughter and grandchild, I would cancel a gym session to help a friend out never mind my own child!

Hi again. I think the message has been lost along the way. I am very grateful for my mum helping on a Tuesday. She loves coming and seeing her grandchildren, and chooses this because she has said she won't see them otherwise. I have said I can go PT or extra nursery day when I'm back at work, but she has explicitly said no. FYI my sister gets the same set up. This is not the issue, I'm very appreciative to her.

The issue I had is not being able to miss a single gym session over your daughter being ill. I am feeling better now hence these messages. I was suffering from an illness from the past few days. I was out of it! So no, it wasn't viral.

And the issue doesn't lie just solely with my mum. If your friend, relative or anyone asked for some help cause they were desperate, you're telling me you would be like 'i'm busy' with the gym. Or you would say 'well you chose to have children!'. 'Use contraception next time'.

Surely you'd make adjustments? As a one off? Like i said i don't take the mick and there's many times I have gone through illnesses and cracked on. I go through extremely painful heavy periods with endometriosis every month and crack on. It was literally a one off cry for help which I needed from the morning.

Also I would always go to my retired mother before my working husband with a difficult company and manager. My mum said she was retiring to 'help with the kids', so why wouldn't I go to her first?

Sorry but your husband should of took a days leave to help. Not nice you want to risk infecting your mum.

When I was too sick to care for our child, my husband took a sick day.

Gosh VIII, I think you are seeing this in a very tunnel visioned way. Pushing an odd gender agenda (why not dad or grandad) for some reason rather than seeing it for what it is - the OPs very understandable hurt when someone she loves chooses the gym over helping their child and vicariously her grandchildren. To you, that’s a perfectly normal reaction and I think that’s so sad. To me, there is nothing more natural than helping someone you love. It’s sad that you don’t have that and as a result don’t appreciate just how much of a difference it makes to raising children.

Just because something can be done single-handedly doesn’t mean it must be. Most things are better done as a team.

Hi again. I think the message has been lost along the way. I am very grateful for my mum helping on a Tuesday. She loves coming and seeing her grandchildren, and chooses this because she has said she won't see them otherwise. I have said I can go PT or extra nursery day when I'm back at work, but she has explicitly said no. FYI my sister gets the same set up. This is not the issue, I'm very appreciative to her.

The issue I had is not being able to miss a single gym session over your daughter being ill. I am feeling better now hence these messages. I was suffering from an illness from the past few days. I was out of it! So no, it wasn't viral.

And the issue doesn't lie just solely with my mum. If your friend, relative or anyone asked for some help cause they were desperate, you're telling me you would be like 'i'm busy' with the gym. Or you would say 'well you chose to have children!'. 'Use contraception next time'.

Surely you'd make adjustments? As a one off? Like i said i don't take the mick and there's many times I have gone through illnesses and cracked on. I go through extremely painful heavy periods with endometriosis every month and crack on. It was literally a one off cry for help which I needed from the morning.

Also I would always go to my retired mother before my working husband with a difficult company and manager. My mum said she was retiring to 'help with the kids', so why wouldn't I go to her first?

Gosh VIII, I think you are seeing this in a very tunnel visioned way. Pushing an odd gender agenda (why not dad or grandad) for some reason rather than seeing it for what it is - the OPs very understandable hurt when someone she loves chooses the gym over helping their child and vicariously her grandchildren. To you, that’s a perfectly normal reaction and I think that’s so sad. To me, there is nothing more natural than helping someone you love. It’s sad that you don’t have that and as a result don’t appreciate just how much of a difference it makes to raising children.

Just because something can be done single-handedly doesn’t mean it must be. Most things are better done as a team.

And the issue doesn't lie just solely with my mum. If your friend, relative or anyone asked for some help cause they were desperate, you're telling me you would be like 'i'm busy' with the gym. Or you would say 'well you chose to have children!'. 'Use contraception next time'.

And yet you didn't ask your father, MIL or father in law for help and you chose to start a thread online to criticise the one person who actually does support you. That says a lot about how you feel about your mum.

Hello. I’m not a SAHM. I’m on maternity leave. I go back full time to work and I’m currently launching two businesses. I cook and clean and make fresh homemade food everyday and I workout. I’m not lazy as your post seems to imply.

And when I’m off maternity, I will be keeping days free to take off for unexpected illnesses. My kids will be in nursery and pre school.

Grandma here who also does one day a week free of charge to small baby & toddler.
Have now for 3 years.

However im taken aback at some of these comments here, they are harsh.
Presumably from Mums who have little or no Grandparent support.

First of sorry you are ill with a toddler and tiny baby that requires a huge amount of resilience.
Secondly your hubby really should come home if you are sick.

However if thats impossible on this ocassion then as a Grandma too I would skip the gym and be there. Honestly nothing is more important than family....suppose you fainted?

My daughter knows im there for her 24/7
Parenting does not stop when your kids have children and this particular time with a newborn toddler is hardcore for any parent.

Im sad and sorry for all you young Mums who have no family help. That was my own personal experience too and thats why I help my daughter. Because I know hard and lonely it feels.

Time with my grandchildren is wonderful and precious and a gift.

Cannot imagine turning my back on my daughter if she was ill. Never.

Hi again. I think the message has been lost along the way. I am very grateful for my mum helping on a Tuesday. She loves coming and seeing her grandchildren, and chooses this because she has said she won't see them otherwise. I have said I can go PT or extra nursery day when I'm back at work, but she has explicitly said no. FYI my sister gets the same set up. This is not the issue, I'm very appreciative to her.

The issue I had is not being able to miss a single gym session over your daughter being ill. I am feeling better now hence these messages. I was suffering from an illness from the past few days. I was out of it! So no, it wasn't viral.

And the issue doesn't lie just solely with my mum. If your friend, relative or anyone asked for some help cause they were desperate, you're telling me you would be like 'i'm busy' with the gym. Or you would say 'well you chose to have children!'. 'Use contraception next time'.

Surely you'd make adjustments? As a one off? Like i said i don't take the mick and there's many times I have gone through illnesses and cracked on. I go through extremely painful heavy periods with endometriosis every month and crack on. It was literally a one off cry for help which I needed from the morning.

Also I would always go to my retired mother before my working husband with a difficult company and manager. My mum said she was retiring to 'help with the kids', so why wouldn't I go to her first?