AIBU to expect my mum to cancel her gym session to look after my kids?

This might have been booked and paid for in advance.
The OP seems to cut her nose off to spite her face by then seeing that help in the afternoon is not enough. I think people have missed the fact her mum said she would help, but not til the afternoon.

If OP is struggling that much then starting up two businesses and returning to work isn't going to help. If sounds like she didn't want to be a mum (there is the excuse she gives of how her mum said she would help lots, so I guess she assumed mum would be there full time for free).

I think her best option is to pay a nanny or get an au pair.

Just as well you were not me. No help and a husband often working away from home or working very late. I learnt to just get on with it. We all survived.

Indeed. What this post actually means is she can do what she wants unless one of her children requests her presence then she must immediately rearrange her plans to ensure she is 100% available to look after them and her grandchildren.

God forbid she can only commit to half a day of childcare.

Depends if she’s doing the gym or booked in a class, classes of all descriptions are not run everyday in gyms in the uk.

I seriously hope that GM doesn’t have other hobbies on other days or commitments like meeting friends for coffee, so she can’t just love gym days.

I mean how very dare she have a life outside babysitting in retirement!

None of us know what the mother's gym session means to her though. I do some exercise because it keeps me out of pain. Maybe this is true of the mother too? It might be more than just exercise, it might be managing something. Or her commitment to her friends counts, so she thought she could honour that then go help her daughter in the afternoon, as she offered. That seems more than fair.

She could go to the gym on one of her other spare 4 days then they are open 7 days a week if in UK

It doesn't sound like her husband ever helps his job is so important they ignore the law.

It's interesting that all those saying ignore the comments in support of her mum seem to have ignored the fact she never said she wouldn't come and help.

I have managed my maternity pretty much on my own with my husband in the office 5 days a week. It has been hard with a baby and a toddler.

you're a grown adult who chose to bring 2 children into the world, what do you want, a medal?

Op please ignore all the crazy comments on here. Of course yanbu. In the times your husband can't help and your ill of course your mum should cancel a gym session to help. She is still your mum and it's a one off. Unless, the husband never helps. That would be an issue!

Your husband is the one who sjoukd be taking time off to look after his children and wife!! VERY entitled to be mad at your poor mum! She raised her children and now deserves her retirement but instead you have her spending 36 hours a month at least looking after YOUR kids!!!

Not on a Tuesday as she looks after OPs children and not on the other day when she looks after other grandchildren.

Bo explanation other than DHs employers are difficult? Not really an explanation? DH needs to address that difficulty as being a parent is also difficult!

Wow, a mum who comes to help with kids every week, all day on a Tuesday. That's incredible. I wish I had that.

It's a bit entitled to expect her to do more than that. It's fine to ask but she clearly has her own life.

You chose to have children and she's already helping you loads!

OP has already explained her DH is unable to do that. GM doesn't work she can go to the gym anytime

I am usually always of the opinion that parents should work out childcare between themselves - BUT some comments on this thread are awful.

You are shaming a mother for needing a little extra help.

Yet the very same people react with “if only she had asked for help” when they read a tragic mother/children news story. 😒

Wow I can’t believe the comments you are getting OP- I am so glad I come from a family where everyone wanted to help out whenever they could. My in-laws loved looking after my DD who is now 18 and did so much childcare and support, voluntarily, because they love us and my DD. They now do the same for my niece and nephew. And they have the best relationship with all their grandchildren who adore them.
My sister in law also used to help before she had her own kids and my DD and her are so close. We help her out too when she needs and my DD will also help with her cousins when she’s free. We are a very close family.
My own parents are no longer around and weren’t in the best of health but loved spending time with my DD and would do anything to help that they could.

I cannot imagine for one minute my DD when she has kids asking for help because she’s ill and I turn round and say no, I am going to the gym.

She didn't say any of that though. She said she would come in the afternoon to help. What's the point of making up a narrative that didn't happen?

I find it weird too. Yes the husband should look after his family but that’s my child I would never see her struggle. I would never want to see any of my children struggle. I can’t imagine saying to my daughter that’s your husbands job if he’s not doing it then you’re on your own, I’m thinking about myself

Without more context I don't now how you can be so sure and so judgemental.

Sorry OP. I got lots of help from my mum as I was struggling with CFS. She's a saint. Also, I come from an Eastern European family and they are close knit and help each other out at times like this....that's what family is for. I find the UK approach rather cold. I would be there for my kids like a shot.

Your mother is already very generous with her time. By way of suggestion, I used to cope with a number of kids when I was sick by just having a quiet day at home, resting on the couch while I could still interact with them, watch TV with them, do the bare minimum - like feed them. If I was genuinely sick enough, my DH took off work. If he couldn't, or was overseas with work, I just dealt with it and got through. It's nice if your mother can come and help extra but her commitments to other people and activities count too. I'm sure she'd have cancelled it for a true emergency.

Neither did OPs, she was willing to come in the afternoon

Very commendable, maybe her DH could use his?

Your mother is older and likely to catch your illness. Do all of you have flu vaccinations etc?
Don't ask her to come over: ask your DP to take a couple of days off work.

I'm baffled as to what you need so much 'help' for, that you had to point it out so very clearly in your OP that you parent your own kids 6 days a week with no help. I mean... isn't that what parents do?
I think your expectations are off. You should be parenting without external help most days, especially seeing you are on mat leave (your side hustles are a choice, if you're too overwhelmed, you could let them slide for a bit).

In saying all that though, if you are really too unwell to parent, and your mum's gym session was just a standard gym session (ie not an injury rehab or similar), then yeah I think it's a little rough that she can't cancel just one day. Or if it's in the afternoon, why couldn't she come in the morning? Personally I would want to be there to help my daughter.

OP some of the replies on here are horrible. I am a grandmother and work full time but I would do anything to help my daughter with my grandchildren if she was ill. I have used my annual leave for that before now.