AIBU to ask what you’d do if your DH revealed he was actually an international gun for hire, and not a salesman?

He is the most unobservant being. If I went missing, fridge or otherwise he'd struggle to answer my hair and eye colour let alone know what I was wearing. If I was hidden in a fridge the baddie would only have to put something in front of me and he'd never find me 😉

How long do you reckon it would take him to find you in the fridge? That's what usually happens in these movies to give them a reason for killing the big baddie at the end (and getting a shag with a 22 year old in the process).

Funny I went straight to Jason Statham (😉) and thought the same. All these US assassins type films always end up with them being chased by some family member wanting revenge or the bosses wanting them offed because of what they know! My DH is good with a gun but as for getting where he was supposed to go, unless I booked it and kept reminding him the dates, times, when and where he'd be useless. Can't even find the mayo in the fridge!@@

Assuming this isnt your life. What a bloody stupid question.

There’s always that one last job, and the squeezers that mean he can’t refuse. You might get a film script out of it, though it’s been done to, er, death.

My husband spent 20 years as an armourer in the RAF. We would often joke - in the privacy of our home, only - about the people who made it on to “the list”. In fact, given the multitude of weaponry he saw on a daily basis from individual small arms such as a pistol or a longer SA80 type that had repeating capability all the way up to aircraft missiles that could take out half a neighbourhood, we had a couple of lists with varying degrees of severity.

Give him a list Of my own World and climate destroyers, and then leave him crack on with his job. If he’s already been doing it for years He’s obviously good at it.

I’d be fine with it to be honest. Particularly if I got to go on some of the trips.

Not a love wolf! That is a cover. Does he howl at a full moon? Is he hairy?

I have a couple of names… one is female but she’s a secret paedo so maybe he could stretch his code

The incompetence is a cover...

DH can’t cope with modern technology like using Google maps or setting up a new smart phone, never mind getting into the dark web.

This is the man, who threw his mouse on the desk, calling it some not very nice names, because it didn’t work! I asked him if he’d checked the batteries? It had never occurred to him that wireless mice need to get the energy to run, from somewhere!

I wouldn't expect to have a 'nice" life funded for me. I value having a happy home and wouldn't want to do all the parenting whilst my dh was away from home for long periods so that kind of set up wouldn't work for me irrespective of whether he was a salesman or gun for hire. I wouldn't want to live a life where we were always looking over our shoulders and him doing such a job putting our family at risk would not be ok. Mostly I just would't want to be married to a murderer however he justified it. I wouldn't feed my family with money earned from ill gotten means. It would come back on you in some way.

You're in danger - this sort of thing always comess back to haunt him. Someone will end up kidnapping you and your children. LTB

The hitman stuff wouldn't be over the phone, it's all arranged via the dark web, keeps everything anonymous that way.

Love wolf or lone wolf, or both?

Lol.

Our former tenant told our senior property manager he was implanted with US microchips. Also a sales man who claimed he owned the business but really he didn’t.

married a woman from Asia from a dating site and planned to bring in/sponsor her family to work on ‘his’ farms only they weren’t his and he was falling out left, right and centre with the farmers.

Behind in rent with us, and then he told his new bride and our PM his USA grain factory burned down and was uninsured, so his fortune (haha) was lost.

feel free to use it in whatever you are writing… but he actually exists.

That doesn’t turn you on?! Okay I’ll agree with the polo next, they look bad on everyone but the rest of it?

It would give me the ick. Not just the murdering but the whole wearing a polo neck and assembling a gun from a leather case. Taking himself very seriously.

He’s hot, right? Otherwise I wouldn’t be with him. Given the circles he mixes in I expect he’d be good for interesting drugs. Ok moral code. Fuck it, I’m in.

Well I’d be pretty pissed off, seeing as DH is inept at any physical/DIY jobs so I have to do everything around the house. So I’d be wondering how successful he is as a paid assassin, seeing as he can’t change a lightbulb, find his favourite hoodie in the closet where it’s always been, turn the hob on or install a new doorbell.

I’d wonder how he can be an international assassin but can’t put the milk back in the fridge when he’s finished with it or remember what time the kids ju jitsu class is. 😂

I wouldn’t marry someone in international sales in the first place so maybe this is unlikely to happen to me.