AIBU to think weight loss conversations in the office are unprofessional

People have been discussing dieting at work since dieting and work was invented. And they always will.

that being said given your mental and physical health history you might consider discussing with HR what support they can offer you.

I used to really dislike it when colleagues went on and on about weight loss. It was so boring and not really something I could join in on as i have tended to be underweight especially if stressed. I don't mind the odd conversation but it did dominate.

I don’t think it’s completely unprofessional as a one off if you’re in the sort of office that talks about those things, but if the chat really is “completely dominated” by it then I can see how that would wear any normal person down, never mind one with a history of related issues.

I think you’re being sensitive due to your history. You could easily say by your logic anything that isn’t work related is unprofessional. People chat at work about non work stuff all the time. Even if you didn’t disclose your recovery id still think you were being sensitive.

One track conversations that are incessant or dominant are not ok, regardless of the subject. Same if you had an office where they talked all the time about Love Island or football or something else.

I personally do not find that comment about the tummy tuck operation to be full of self hate and self loathing. To me, the person who said that didn't like an aspect of their body and took a course of action to change it. I have no issue with that at all, and that sort of comment wouldn't have produced much reaction from me at all other than a moment's interest and curiosity and then I'd have mentally moved on.

I agree. They are allowed to feel how they feel about their own bodies. For example, I am in my mid 40s and the other day one of my colleagues was going on and on about turning 30 and how "old" it made her feel and how its all downhill from there etc. I just nodded along. I am not going to start throwing a tantrum about how that makes me feel as I am even older than her so what does that say about me? because I know it was a throwaway comment about her and it wasnt directed at me.

Unless someone is being directly rude to you, you cannot take every comment so personally because otherwise you will spend your life feeling offended.

Ok, so your colleagues are more confident to discuss and share personal thoughts about their bodies than most people I have worked with.

I personally do not find that comment about the tummy tuck operation to be full of self hate and self loathing. To me, the person who said that didn't like an aspect of their body and took a course of action to change it. I have no issue with that at all, and that sort of comment wouldn't have produced much reaction from me at all other than a moment's interest and curiosity and then I'd have mentally moved on.

You must work somewhere strange. I’ve never heard a bunch of female colleagues talk like this, ever. I would find it bizarre and tedious too. Are they doing this in the office when they’re working or over breaks?

I think that it naturally does form part of office conversation. We are in an extremely calorie rich environment, with an evolutionary predisposition to make the most of accesible food. Whilst also consuming all the media of slim people and the logical arguments of health.

It is such a well-worn topic because everyone has to think about healthy (or unhealthy) choices everyday.

I have never worked in an office where it wasn't regularly discussed.

Op, you can’t dictate what people choose to talk about . It is not illegal to talk about weight loss
This is akin to saying that people with children should not be able to talk about their children at work because a colleague is unable to have children and it would be distressing for them to hear about baby Johnny’s teething issues

In my opinion your reaction is extreme and comes from your own past issues.
Where I work this kind of chat is very common. We talk to each other about all
sorts of topics- we find it quite therapeutic!

Sorry OP, but I think this is normal office chat sadly. Barring clearly inappropriate conduct and conversations (sexual overtones, bullying, harassment, etc), people need to talk about something. Weight loss is a common area which groups of people who would not ordinarily choose to hang out will often talk about.

You can't police what people talk about. I went through a phase where I was deeply depressed about being single and living alone. It would bore me rigid and reduce me to tears after work when colleagues would constantly talk about their families, children, etc. I had to just try to tune it out.

Is it chat instead of work or just chat in breaks, etc? If it's continuous chat while people should be working it is inappropriate. If it's people chatting at times when it is appropriate to chat I guess they can talk about anything except the obvious racist, sexist, etc. If you feel your history of anorexia means the chat is attacking your disability it is maybe borderline.

I agree it is unprofessional and I do think it crosses a line, but then lots of people are unprofessional at work. I

Part of being at work is being part of a social group. Chatting about your life (as far as each individual wishes to) and building relationships is important to many people. What they are discussing is not illegal or derogatory to others?? Is their own personal stories?? They are not forcing you to join in the conversation??
Then they are doing nothing wrong. It is not unprofessional to talk to your colleagues and share things with them.

It doesn't cross a line. It's not typical to feel how you do, I believe your reaction is due to your eating disorder. Could you ask for reasonable adjustments at work? Maybe some time working from home/single office/noise blocking headphones.

It sounds as if it’s fine beyond normal office chat if you are picking up vibes of self loathing

No, I dont think you can police this kind of talk in the office. It would be different if it were discriminatory or breaking the law in some way but otherwise, you cannot tell people what they can and cant discuss in public.

Even if you could - who gets to dictate that? what if a topic you enjoy talking about upsets someone else?

Yes!

Rather that than Love Island

What sort of hateful and self loathing things are they saying?? Sounds like it's very extreme if it's upsetting you.

I think this is tricky. People do discuss personal things at work with colleagues so this type of chat probably isn’t that unusual. Equally I can understand why you feel uncomfortable. Do you need to be sat with these people? Can you work from a different space?

Have you said anything to anyone there about this? A quick word with your line manager and they can be asked to tone it down.