AIBU to not compromise on my daughters birthday dinner for the sake of my niece and nephews

They can literally just eat chips too for a single meal. Not any kind an issue.

Hopefully they won't go as they'll probably try to spoil the daughter's fun as they're normally pandered to.

I would not be happy to accommodate such fussiness.
The fact that all his children are like this makes me think there is no medical justification, just bad parenting.

But the brother’s kids bend the entire family to their whim all the time, by demanding that meals out are restricted to three restaurants. These restaurants are acceptable to the brother’s DC because they can order the ‘right’ chicken nuggets as well as chips and possibly plain pasta.

Care to speculate on how delicious the rest of the family finds the food, or reconsider who is the most selfish?

No. It's great OP won't be spoiling her daughter's special treat to pander to fussy eaters :)

Some cousins want to go to the restaurant and I assume they normally have to compromise too for the fussy eaters, so maybe just for once the 3 picky eaters compromise so the rest of the cousins can enjoy a special treat

Well go then! What is the point of this thread? Some posters have offered alternative viewpoints but you're set on this restaurant for the birthday meal, so go for it! 🤷‍♀️ It's not like your brother can change his children's entrenched eating habits overnight ready for going to a seafood restaurant so you just have to say this is the plan, let me know if you want to come.

She didn’t know that did she?
And it’s her birthday. Of all days, that shouldn’t be the one where you fold over yourself to fit other people’s taste.

And seriously, they don’t like fish and chips?!?

I would have arranged the expensive fish restaurant just for immediate family then arranged something more reasonably priced for everyone.

Well I would find my love for my brother declining each time he insisted on getting his own way

If you all compromise the rest of the time, then your brother and his family can suck it up for once.

I nearly put that in my post 😂

It's no good, I've got to say, do you mean OP's daughter is shellfish.... I'll get my coat.

I assume your daughter value the food over the company of her cousins, which is fine

And I would assume that the daughter is really excited to be going somewhere really special on her birthday. If I was her auntie I would be happy that she is getting a special treat!

It doesn't really sound like you love your brother and his children very much, you are being very judgemental.

Either your daughter wants to eat at this particular restaurant, or she wants all her cousins there - it sounds like she can't have both. At 12, she's old enough to accept that and there's no need to bitch about it. We can't shape the world to our whim, even on our birthdays.

The OP’s brother makes the extended family go to the three restaurants his children will eat at. Doesn’t that mean he doesn’t care about his family?
@Sirzymakes it clear that her son shouldn’t be the deciding factor in a restaurant choice.

It is a very different background.

She should absolutely be able to pick the restaurant she wants on her birthday. Let’s not teach a 12 year old that on her special day when she’s been told she gets to make all the choices, she has to be self sacrificing to placate others. Tell your brother he can explain to his kids their day ends after all the other activities or they can have chips.

So, you have lunch in the restaurant with those that want to eat, then go on to the cinema, then maybe drinks and nibbles in the park or your garden. The three cousins won’t then feel miffed that they can’t eat anything at the restaurant.

OP, if you afford it, take your daughter to France one year for her birthday. Fill all your boots with fish. 🐟🦐
My teenaged nieces were horrified to see French children eating Mussels, various fish, pate, oh, all sorts of foods that weren't beige, and actually joining in the family table conversation at dinner in a restaurant. No children's menu, just half plates if required.

Then he can be upset. It is your DD's day and this is what she wants. Sounds like the fussy eaters already dictate a lot venue wise, this time they can like it or lump it.

I assume because she is responding to posts saying her child is selfish

Surely the answer is your brother and his kids don't go. If you are having a birthday party for your DD you should be picking up the tab anyway.

87% think YANBU, but for some reason you seem focused on justifying yourself to the 13% who think YABU. Can I ask why? I’m always intrigued when people do this.

Wth am I reading? Do NOT relent OP, under no circumstances. Go to your daughter's favourite restaurant 100%.
As for the 'selfish' comments.. So let me get this straight. A girl who is celebrating her birthday needs to consider others' needs before her own, choose a place she doesn't want to go to, foregoing her favourite restaurant, even though everyone else other than one of her uncles is happy to attend. Otherwise, she's apparently 'selfish'. On her own birthday, no less.
But OP's brother, with his ridiculous beige kids, who dictates every family occasion, and who is apparently can go to only 3 restaurants - he and his chicken nuggets kids are perfectly reasonable and fine. So OP, her daughter, and all the extended family have to dance to the tune of some McDonald's sprogs.
If you relent on this, OP, you're teaching your daughter to be a people pleaser, to overlook her own needs, put others before her, and that she doesn't matter. Because in life there will always be 'that cousin', 'that colleague', 'that friend', 'that whoever'. She needs to learn to prioritise herself and say no. Your brother can stay home.
💯
I said earlier, it's her choice. Why give her a choice and let her be excited that she is hoing somewhere that she really wants to go and then take it away from her and then have to go to some beige place to keep BIL and his kids happy. That would be such a disappointment for her.

Even if there were vegan options

Some people would say they should just learn to eat what they're told to, but others would say that these days that attitude isn't ok as we understand things like ARFID etc (not saying they're got that, just saying that in the past children were just supposed to not make a fuss and eat what they were told).
Personally for a birthday meal, I'd always pick a place that's likely to be ok for most people, as lots of my family and friends have different religious/ethical or other reasons for food needs. It is your daughter's birthday, but if she's aware that this place doesn't work for everyone, I'd discuss this, and say that she's said she wants her cousins, so would she prefer to pick another place?
If not, that's a choice, but I would just make sure she's aware.