To not take child to party?

As a parent of twins myself, if my twins were in the same class both always got invited. I suspect the parent doesn't know yours are twins. At 3.5 in nursery, I would either decline the invitation as your children are not used to being separated, or bring your son along and pay separately for him.

If they are in different classes (mine were in the same class for pre-school, but different classes in school) then they are used to being separated and doing different things, and one going to a party alone is totally fine.

That's the way it worked when mine were little. They are individuals but may not be ready to be separated for the party, which to me is totally understandable

At this age, I would just decline. They don't need to be "learning lessons" about this at 3.5 and I wouldn't want the hassle.
Once they go to school however, I would expect them to not always be invited (especially as a lot of schools out twins in separate classes to help them socialise) and at the point, it would become necessary to teach them that's how it goes sometimes.

You will stay with your child at soft play do just ecplain that there are two of them and will pay the entrance fee for the uninvited child - win win situation no drama!

Agreed this is a very common situation.

You are totally over thinking this. Whenever my child has a party invite and I can’t get childcare for my younger one I often ask if he can come and either pay for him if an activity or bring his own packed lunch etc…I have never had a “no” yet. And there are usually lots of others at parties with their other children in tow.

pretty sure the other parent is just not aware of your situation.

My twins are 6 and still I would decline because they do everything together they are each others best friends I wouldn't hurt the feeling of my own child to save the feeling of someone else's child when that adult didn't care how my child would feel. Who invites one twin and not the other at 3.5

What the fuckity fuck?

She can when her child is 3 and as the mother she needs to do what’s best for her children’s relationship and mental health.

I would let my dd attend party who knows next party could be son invited and not dd. I would do something nice with my son as mum and son day out .

I’ve been on the other end of this. My daughter’s 4th birthday I asked her which friends she wanted to come and she gave me some names. I sent invites and got a response from one parent asking if the invite was for both girls. I was mortified as I had no idea they were twins, my daughter only played with one of them and they were not identical. I adjusted the numbers and it was no problem to add an extra. My point is, just message the host and explain. As they are boy/girl it’s likely they didn’t know either. Just offer to pay for the extra, although I’m sure it won’t be necessary.

Exactly. It might be different at 7/8, but at this age? Very strange for the parent to have invited one twin and not the other when it’s the opposite sex DC who had been invited!

Double post.

It isn't mean if the boy plays with the girl twin more than the boy twin. That's what parties are for.

I can guarantee you schools certainly do. every Christmas we get a list of names so we can do Xmas cards

Agreed. Ask someone else DH or Grandparent to do something with your son while your daughter goes to the party.

When they start school they won't both be invited to the same things.

You are overthinking this.

They can both have a nice time (separately).
X

I think at that age it’s mean to invite one twin and not the other. Especially a boy inviting the girl twin and not the boy twin. I’d probably decline, but I get why others are saying not to.

So what?! They are individual children and do not have to do everything together. They can have their own friends and get invited to parties individually why punish one child and not let them go because the other may get upset about it?? Think of it as teaching moment for the other child that sometimes you can go places together but sometimes you can't and teach them how to deal with any potential disappointment

This is what I’d do.

If you had two children extremely close together in age but not twins would you not let one go because the other hadn't been invited. Many children who are not twins have one child invited and the other not even though they are in the same social circle as the birthday child. It's something worth normalising when they are young that sometimes one will be invited and the other won't. If you don't think the child invited will enjoy it that is different.

Absolute nonsense!

If you have someone else (dad/other parent?) then I would take one to the party and the other parent takes the other child to do something else. There will be times where the opposite will happen so it’s good that they realise from a young age that they might not both be invited all the time and that’s ok. I would think at 3.5 you cannot leave one at the soft play and it’s expected that you stay with them.

Year 5? So ages 9-10? I wouldn’t know anyone who would stay at an 8 year old’s (for example) party with their kids!

Please read back what you have written….. 😉😂

I don't see what's wrong with asking if the twin brother can go. If the answer is no the mum can say no.

Just pay for your boy twin to go as well. Text the other mum and explain. I have 2 older kids 18 months apart plus twins the same age as yours and this is what I do as it makes it easier to navigate parties.