Childcare for nephew

Amen to that
" The Village" is always one way imho

She needs to get on local Facebook etc groups asap and if there’s any recommendations for childcare.

Where is the child going every day now for the 6 weeks?

She chose to

• have a child with a deadbeat
• move away from the grandparents
• remove him from a school where he had wraparound care, to a new school without securing wraparound provisions first

Not many clinical healthcare workers can finish their work at home! Bus drivers, power station workers, delivery drivers, construction workers, hairdressers….you know…people that have important jobs!

She chose to

• have a child with a deadbeat
• move away from the grandparents
• remove him from a school where he had wraparound care, to a new school without securing wraparound provisions first

Have you read the OP’s posts where she says her daughter’s college hours make this impossible?

In morning I would just stick on tv or iPad could you leave out a snack and do same evening I doubt he’d want much chat, doesn’t sound much really and places might open up at clubs so wouldn’t be be forever.

Posts like this make me wonder if people even bother reading the OP’s detailed posts.

I can’t believe some of the posters here who think that you should just…

agree to have him mornings despite finally after years of child rearing being able to have a lie in, and after school till 6, despite working and despite him being the sort of child who needs entertaining.

do this despite working yourself and being paid to do so.

do all this free

do all this despite having dogs meaning the child would need to be supervised.

Do this, whether they are ill, the child is ill, it’s an inset day or the holiday.

Offer to cook the sister dinner afterwards because she’ll be tired after a day at work!

I would help with the before school part but not after school as you are working.

To all those saying that OP is terrible for not doing this, have you read the first post ?
OP and her husband are actually at WORK ! The same as the sister is..They just do it in a different location. If the sister is not allowed to take their child to work then why is it deemed fine for OP to do it ?

Of the OP agrees to this then she will have to change her work hours and the days will be longer for her, take her annual leave at times that perhaps dont suit as she will be needed during school term.

Your sister needs to make a flexible working request to her work.

I would offer a compromise. Nephew comes to you in the mornings, 4 days a week. If he arrives at 8am (having already had breakfast at home), then if school starts around 8.40am, he’ll presumably leave at 8.30am to walk there . I’d say no to after school entirely, explain your work is often busiest in the late afternoons, with online meetings, etc. She’ll have to adjust her own working hours or employ someone somehow.

"It takes a village!" The war cry of entitled parents.

This is so easy, say no. Your sister is the Mother, down to her to sort childcare.
The be kind village people may not have a life but you do. Ignore them.

I would say no to it full stop but if you do one day make sure you sister understands its one day snd you are not doing anymore free childcare.

Could you're daughter who is at College do it as a paid job but at his house? That way it doesn't intrude on your family life but she could earn some money? Just a thought

If course it's not always possible. But everyone has a legal right to make a flexible working request. A business can often accommodate someone leaving at 3pm & finishing their working hours at home, or staggering with a partner so they work slightly earlier or later hours than average to do either that drops or pick ups. Businesses want to keep good people and they are used to people being limited by what childcare hours they can find.

Here it doesn't sound like her sister has put in a flexible working request and been told no, it sounds like she wants OP to cover it so she doesn't need to ask about rearranging her own hours. Which is a bit unreasonable given it's within OP s normal working day.

But there is a central difference of opinion. here that sister thinks it won't disrupt your work, OP. and you disagree. She thinks she is asking for a much smaller favour than you think she is asking for. And that has potential to cause a lot of resentment on both sides.

OP is WORKING until 6pm. She's not available to watch the child. I'd say I'm needed at the office now, and won't be home anyway.

The problem with doing it temporarily is you become the bad guy if you push for the arrangement to change - the good deed will not go unpunished.

Fair enough, but if you pick a school and it advertises breakfast and after school clubs but when you sign up they don’t have the space, there isn’t much you can do about that. When we started primary school we got a space, but the following year they had very few.

Can she change her work start times so that she can take him in the mornings? And then he comes to you after school, with strict rules that he is not to disturb you when you are working. He would have homework to be getting on with most likely, or he could watch TV.

I would try and help her, it sounds like she’s in a difficult situation.

Tell her to get him onto waiting lists for childcare, it’s likely this would only be an arrangement for a year as places will free up as next year’s Year 6 kids go onto secondary school.

This x 1000

That last line sounds like a judgement. Maybe as a single mum she doesn’t have the same choice as you do to be a SAHM or work flexibly.

I’d do this in a heartbeat for my sister. She was also a single mum. Although I lived too far away to do anything regularly, my nephew stayed with us for some of the school holidays. The difference is, I like my sister. If she had come round at pick up and wanted to stay for dinner, I’d be fine with it. In fact, I’d offer it so she didn’t have to cook after getting home so late.

But, as you don’t seem to have much of a relationship with her, you should say no to all of it, not even one day.

It is a big ask and of course you can say no but personally I would do it for my sister, in fact I did it for my friend for several years with her son and daughter.

She has a child. Before moving schools you have to plan your future childcare during your work hours or change work hours or change job. The poster doesnt have to suddenly provide childcare 4 days a week

She decided to move and not think through and plan future childcare thats her problem not yours. When I looked at schools for my kids I checked out the wrap around care.
i have how everyone have to become a “village” for people who dont think through their plans.

I havnt an opinion of what the poster should do….however it seems to be the mumsnet answer to all these problems that someone ‘should just change their working hours’
Dont people realise that just isn’t possible in most cases?
It’s an unknown concept that people just can’t pick and choose when theyll work…we don’t all work from home, make up time in the evenings, stay in to collect the Amazon deliveries, take the dog out in our lunch hour, have the kids running around our feet when we’re supposed to be concentrating on the job that pays our salary.