To think Gill Pharaoh had the ideal end of life

I am not far from 75 and I have still got a list of places I want to visit, long haul, Europe and UK. I have a marathon walk planned.

I'm in much the same position, although I am retired and do have some money in the bank, but when it's gone it's gone. Unlike you however I don't think anything about my life now or in the future is "dire" and I hope to be here as long as possible.

I know several people in their 80s living great lives, ageing is not always as dreadful as some on MN seem to think.

Maybe some people on here are ageist but I wouldn't class an entire forum as such - they are obviously speaking from their own experience.

For what it's worth my mum is 72 , has early stage dementia, can barely walk and a heap of other horrendous health conditions.
A lady I volunteered with a few weeks ago, the same age is training for a marathon and did a sponsored walk over hot coals, whilst my mum can barely make it to the toilet on time.

We're not the same.

I agree it should be our choice but I do hope not to feel very elderly at 75 as that's only eleven years away and I won't retire until I'm at least 67.

Yes this seems to be what happens to everyone now.
In my grandparents era (1970’s) you caught pneumonia/had a heart attack/got cancer and died in a very short space of time.
Nowadays advances in medicine mean people survive these things only to have another 10 years of ever worsening health in terrible pain merely existing rather than living.
I would like to choose when I go, I am terrified of getting dementia like my mum. It was a living hell.

My grandad said if there was a button he could push to end his life, he would have done it at 75
His last decade was just medications with side effects, and more meds to counter them. He needed dialysis, but did not want the inconvenience of it. His later years was just sitting in his armchair. He wanted more than that.

I think from 75 you should be given the option annually to end your life painlessly and with dignity.

Was the husband on one of the morning programmes maybe?

I found her reasoning that she’d written.

https://www.mydeath-mydecision.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/MY-LAST-WORD-by-GMPMay-2015.pdf

It depends on the person. Some people at the gym I used to go to, in their seventh decade, were fitter than most 20 year olds, so I wouldn't say I wouldn't want to live beyond X age.
But I agree anyone should be able to have their life ended when they want. We should all have to give our wishes to a GP to be held on file (with safeguards) that if we can't do x/y/z we want euthanasia.
Abortion has been legalised (and was effectively sort of freely available for over 50 years) because we recognise women have rights over their bodies. So why not all men and women with regards to end of life care and choices?

My goodness you class 75 as very elderly! So what are people in their 80s, and ,God forbid , in their 90s in your scheme of things? Obviously well past their sell by date!

The pension Is , or soon will be 67 . So people are classed as officially capable of work up until 67. And yet you think 75 is very elderly???

MN is known to be ageist but I think you really take the prize for being about the most blatantly ageist poster I have come across.

This was August 2015
What has made you think about this lady's decision some 11 years later ?

ETA - just seen article in the Times
What made them decide to write about this 11 years later ?

No, I think the lady in question decided she was elderly and done. It’s not a blanket decision that people over a certain to be age should be euthanised. However I do believe that an individual should be able to make that decision. My father who was a vital and physically active man had a catastrophic stroke at the age of 74 which unfortunately didn’t kill him. So he lived in nappies being spoon fed for another 19 years. His heart was strong you see because he was fit. That individual muscle prolonged the misery for 19 years. This man who had a double first in the classics, was vital and intelligent, who loved life, was kept alive as a vegetable because doing any thing else was ‘ unethical’

I have shot horses suffering less.

Just because you are happy and well doesn’t give you the right to declare everyone should put up with shit if they don’t want to. Not everyone has enjoyment and satisfaction. Not everyone is active. Not everyone has an amazing social life. Some people have literally no one. If the GP or nurses don’t twig, they are left to rot. Not everyone has a wish to continue their existence for another decade or two. Some people are lonely, really brutally lonely. People being paid to visit you (carers etc) don’t really fill that gap. Depression and loneliness in the elderly is a huge problem.

It’s really nice that you’re happy, and obviously feel you have things to look forward to. But don’t you understand that not everyone is like you? Cant you find some compassion for other people?

Why “chilling”? As opposed to just a different decision to the one you would make?

I don't know about her case but agree with assisted dying to allow people to die with dignity. My mum is 89 and is unhappy, with a poor quality of life (dementia, partially sighted). She can't do much but is restless and sometimes distressed because she doesn't know where she is. She lives at home with my dad, which is destroying him. She is loved and well looked after but it's all very sad and she says she's lived too long. She doesn't even have the comfort of memories. I don't think she would choose to live like this - there is little pleasure in her life.

I would rather chilling, sad and her choice than painful, horrendous, desperate and alone .

it's a horrible subject no matter which way you slice it .

If anyone wants to kill themselves and is cable of doing do, that is up to them to decide

if someone has enough money to pay a private business to kill them, that is up to them

asking the state to become involved is when it gets complicated

I read about this. She was happy and she felt she was done. Why not go out on a high note?

Gill Pharaoh was not terminally ill. She had grandchildren and a partner. She was not in poor health. She had apparently always had thoughts about ending her life before she got old. I found her case chilling andI still do.

I'm in exactly the same boat as you. I fear I simply won't be able to afford to live to a ripe old age. The only thing that stops me worrying about the future is knowing I'll be able to end it all.

Exactly. Why do some people think they should be able to dictate the narrative of others - even down to how they should die. I always think they really must be the most horribly controlling people.