To think Gill Pharaoh had the ideal end of life

And there are those who aren't active and able to go things My mum had a stroke at just turned 75 which left her unable to talk, sit up, eat etc.

That wouldn't have been a nice older lufe

I agree - its comes off as smug and smacks of privilege. It might not be the motivating factor though , It could actually be down to pride or the fear of people thinking you are frail and weak, but the reality is some people are , and you older strong, robust folk need to recognise that.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-humber-68373897

this reminds me of wendy mitchell who had early onset dementia and wrote a number of books about it. Her last book was about various ways of dying and she had planned to go to switzerland but had a bad fall and was unable to go. She took her own life in collaboration with her doctor and daughters by starving herself.

i think she was a very brave woman.

I frankly get absolutely sick of all the posts on threads like this one saying " I'm very happy waiting to die of old age so you should be too“.

Having watched both my grandmothers die slow, painful and undignified deaths in their nineties, and now watching the slow decline of my mum from a progressive illness in her early eighties, I completely agree with the reasons behind Gill’s decision.

I have absolutely no desire to live a long life if it means ending up in a care home, with every day the same and absolutely nothing to look forward to. Give me a quick, clean and efficient death at a time of my choosing please.

I can’t agree that a decision about one’s own existence is selfish, let alone very selfish.

It is difficult, though. Many people try several times and it can be an awful way to go and sometimes unsuccessful with devastating consequences. Plus you surely to have some consideration for whoever finds you? I used to be peripherally involved in funeral care and it can be grim. Especially if you’re not discovered for a while.

This is exactly what my relative used to say - they got to 98, outlived husband, 9 siblings, 9 in-laws, several nieces and nephews, no kids of their own. They used to say I've lived to long, and it was hard not to agree with them. Nearly 10yrs sat in a chair and then a bed in a nursing home…

I do see your point and it is a very difficult issue. My grandmother died at 88, she dreaded loss of independence and worried about it a lot. In the end she was fit and active until the very end (walking miles every day and out with friends most days.) She got ill very suddenly, went to hospital and died the next day. I was her next of kin and had power of attorney and was with her in hospital. I was asked if we wanted everything possible done to keep her alive. I said no, she wouldn’t want to be resuscitated to potentially survive but lose her health and independence. It was 100% what she would have wanted. But there is a massive difference between not actively treating an elderly person with poor chance of recovery, and actively choosing to end someone’s life.

I have also lost a loved one to suicide, it is devastating in a way most people can’t comprehend. I admit that this clouds my view on this issue.

But where do you draw the line between a mental illness and a decision you just can’t understand.

As an example - my grandma is 97, her husband of over 70 yrs died a few years ago. She lives alone in the house she’s lived in for decades. No downstairs toilet or stairlift and is physically pretty well, able to get up and down the stairs etc. She’s never had any serious health issues or illnesses. Mentally she is completely sharp and with it. She has a cleaner and someone who comes in daily to help with dinner because where she does struggle is opening things, lifting pots and pans etc. Currently she’s fairly happy with her life.
If she started to get unwell (let’s say nothing that would specifically kill her but maybe further loss of independence or needing to move out of her home), would it be mentally unwell for someone in her position to say “you know what, I’ve had a really good run, and am not particularly interested in this last bit being awful”? Would we insist on antidepressants and a therapist?

(I hope it goes without saying that whilst I wouldn’t think that decision would come from mental illness, I’d obviously be very upset to lose her. I also don’t think it’s a decision she would make, but who knows)

Unless you spend all your time wearing a crash helmet the "threat of serious brain injury" surrounds us all - regardless of age.

This is a most depressing thread, suggesting everyone in their 70s should prepare for their imminent death and do away with themselves as soon as they begin to suffer aches and pains.

Can you link to where this has been suggested? I must have missed that.

I think a safe and dignified way to die at a time of your choosing should be available. If you feel fit and well in your 70s then you don't have to do it! My parents are in their early 70s and nowhere near 'past it' yet. However, if they did feel that way then I think the option to end their life should be there.

My grandmother had aggressive lung cancer and died in hospital, which she was adamant she didn't want to do. Why couldn't she decide she was going to die on X day in her own home with whoever she wanted present, having had time to say her goodbyes and put her affairs in order?

Well at 71, I don't spend every day dwelling on the fact I may suffer a 'serious brain injury' at any moment! I spend my days enjoying my life and making the most of every day, in the company of friends who go all the way up to their 90s.
This is a most depressing thread, suggesting everyone in their 70s should prepare for their imminent death and do away with themselves as soon as they begin to suffer aches and pains.
I am off to do a bit of gardening before going to tai Chi with my 82 year old friend.

You want to off yourself? Be everybody' guest. Don't push this vile satanic agenda on others. Plenty of people sorted their own wishes themselves in the past, being very considerate of others

I agree with this. If someone is terminally ill and wants to choose the manor and time of their death I support that. But if someone who is currently healthy and well wants to end their life that is a mental health issue. Which is sad and very difficult for the person concerned. Mental illness treatment should be far better than it is and we as a society should be treating and supporting people with mental illness far better than we currently do. But the treatment for a mental illness is not to help that person die. Im not against assisted dying but we need safeguards to ensure it is used appropriately. We also need decent palliative care. Being afraid of a terrible death shouldn’t be a reason for assisted dying, everyone should be assured of a dignified death with proper care. Unfortunately we don’t have that in this country currently.

There is a lot to be said for taking an early exit before serious deterioration sets in. But at 75 and in good health seems a bit sad.

@MrsShawnHatosy

it is not normal to want to end a happy healthy life and we should not pretend that it is.

Have you read what she said about her life? Her own words?

If so, you’ll know that wasn’t the case.

If not, why are you presuming to know how a complete stranger feels better than they know how they feel?

So many people on this thread think their own opinion is more important than Gill Pharaoh’s 🙄.

Thank god none of you seem to be nurses.

Exactly, seems ideal to me. Having lost multiple relatives to painful cancer related drawn out deaths, I'd much rather go on my own terms.

@UniquePinkSwan I think some actually think it’s not old 🤷🏻‍♀️

Totally agree. It should be up to the person. People on here saying 75 isn’t elderly are wrong. They’ll be saying it’s middle aged next

I agree, I think the level of care or lack is the scary thing these days.

It’s MNs so of course 75 isn’t old 🙄

But both my parents and 3 of my grandparents lived for another 20 years after 75, mostly in good health. You know it is not the same for everyone. I just wish that there was an off button for us all to able to press when we have had enough.

Provided she was appropriately assessed I don’t have an issue

what does worry me is whether the fear is the lack of care after a stroke. My worry is not so much my health will fail (it will) but that there isn’t healthcare in the Uk that works any more and especially not for older people. I may make the same decision myself