To expect 15 year old DD to share a room with the family on holiday?

Some of my happiest memories are of all 4 of us sleeping in a row in a hotel. I have a DD and DS - they never share a bed but frequently share rooms when we are on holiday. They are 21 and 18. So long as they’ve got a bathroom to change in and our son has been raised not to be a weirdo about periods. I’d be really concerned if DD was embarrassed to be around her dad. We aren’t skin flints with holidays but I’m not paying for 3 rooms. In New York we had a fab room with massive bunk beds. It meant the 3 night stay cost £800 instead of £1600 and we could spend the savings having fun.

I don't blame her one bit.

you love being dramatic and self-important, I get that.

my point doesn't change.

You are just very privileged to have a wealthy enough family to ensure you had your own room all your life. You are genuinely spoilt 😂

Glad normal kids love sleepovers and sharing a bedroom once in a while!

On holiday I don’t see the issue. I still share with my adult DC at times, of both gender.

I've shared with my sons for the odd Premier Inn night or two and kipping down when visiting family, but for holidays we've always had our own rooms. We love each other and (mostly!) get on, but after a day of happy family holiday we all need our own space to unwind and sleep.
We've compromised on location and other amenities in favour of having our own rooms. There are 10 years between DS1 and DS2. It's their holiday as well so while I have the final say, they are very much part of the discussion.

The OP says shed share with mum and sister not dad

The biggest issue will surely be that everyone will have to be quiet/awake when the 2 year old is. Get her her own room.

I always shared with my parents and did not care, right up until I was 18. I really don't understand the issue. Not everyone can afford two rooms, and why does it matter? All you do is sleep in there. Me and mum used to plan bathroom times. You just get changed in the bathroom 🤷 As I got older, if I wanted to be alone for a bit, I just used to go and chill somewhere in the hotel for a while!

This is honestly such a middle class problem. I literally didn't know anybody who had separate rooms when growing up holiday. It's only for a week usually. It's no big deal.

My DD, 15 at the time, was perfectly fine sharing a room with us and her 10 year brother last summer. But I can see that some people wouldn't want to.

We do it for two weeks so we can spend more on an expensive holiday. We’ve just done a long haul with DS18 and we did a fortnight all in the one room. Everyone uses the bathroom to at least get underwear on. If we take his older brother then we get two rooms, but we’re ok sharing so we can have a great holiday. It would have added another £3k on if we’d got him his own room.

When we’ve all shared or had to divide girl room/boy room we’ve had a family discussion, explaining that sharing means we can have longer or go further. The kids then bought into it. TBH I enjoyed it the least.

😅😆
It’s not a family dynamic.
It’s a recognised biological and neurological diversity in humanity. Not all humans like to live on top of each other 24/7. There’s nothing to worry or disdain about how some of us genuinely need private time alone every day and when sleeping.

So yes, if it ‘worries’ you that some humans are different with the implication it’s abnormal and somehow degenerate then yes you need a professional to open your mind and develop tolerance.

Does he snore like my dad. That would be my reason.

Dd always shared with us, sharing with male family members is normal and ok, not wanting to share with male family members is also normal and ok.

I did have an issue sharing with my dad, he took offence at that and act like I’d accused him being a sex offender, he would emotionally try and blackmail me to agree and say I can’t go on holidays with him and my brother then.

He was a very sexist man who didn’t think much of women though, he didn’t like being told no and had lots of ways he’d try to control and manipulate women in his life.

I would never ever put any child of mine in the situation my father put me, like I say though, my dd always shared with us through choice, she was always give then option of not sharing and she wasn’t threatened with no holiday.

My daughter won't be given the choice, I'm not paying for 2 rooms if we all fit in 1

I'm going to assume that if a girl gets her period on holiday with her family and is embarrassed about it, she's not going to announce "DAD, I'VE GOT MY PERIOD, DON'T COME NEAR ME"!

Also, we should be teaching our young girls that periods are nothing to be embarrassed about.

Anyhoo, different topic, sorry 😅

I’d have had a problem, at 15, sharing with my dad. An alcoholic and all that goes with that. Has your daughter explained her reasons? Do you know what they might be, only you can answer.

I disagree. At 15 I wouldn’t have wanted to share with my dad. Nothing untoward happened. I explained to my cousin’s dh when their dd was about 13 that she no longer wanted to sleep in the double bed in their camper van. He just couldn’t see it. The van was sold within 2 months.

And I wasn’t keen sharing with my brother at that age. He’s older. We are all different.

Ridiculous to expect to pay for a separate room for 15 year old!

How is it inappropriate for a family to share a sleeping space? I just don’t get that at all!

I don’t think your DH is BU at all. There’s no reason why your DD can’t share, based on the info given, as long as people can get changed in private (like in the bathroom) but even at that, what if you were all getting changed at the beach, would that be an issue too?

My DD’s shared with us at that age, sometimes I managed to get two rooms but often it was a family room

I have a 14 year old and a slightly younger child of the opposite gender, and we always book for the 4 of us to share a family room, whether it's at the Premier Inn or on a longer holiday abroad. Both kids still say they prefer this set-up, but it may change at some point soon. If we were to move to booking 2 rooms though, the kids would still have to share despite being opposite genders.

It can be embarrassing for a teen.

Depends where you're going.

Places like Disney are set up with two double beds and it's common for four to share. Its often the difference between affording to go or not.

I can see this both ways. I have 3 sons. Would the 14 year old rather not share with me? Probably. Can I afford seperate rooms? No. So if they want to go away they suck it up and get changed in the bathroom.