DD and friend had drinks spiked, now in ITU AIBU?

It happened to my very attractive friend in 1999, aged nineteen. I wasn’t drinking much and we realised something was very wrong as it was only her second drink.

Hospital visit, stomach pumped, the works. Her mum rang the bar when they opened the following evening. They couldn’t have cared less. Police also did nothing.

Always look out for your friends, never leave a drink unattended. It’s maddening we need to protect ourselves like this.

Reasons people spike other people's drinks:

• to make the victim vulnerable to assault or theft
• to see the victim lose control for a 'laugh'
• to ruin the victim's evening

As PPs have described, anybody can be a victim, anybody can be a perpetrator.

I’m really surprised at the posters that sound as though they’re defending the police for doing FA.

The bare minimum they could do is review any CCTV footage and go from there…people die from being spiked. The police shouldn’t just be shrugging their shoulders!

@sunshinesuzey

the drug could be at the bottom of a wine or beer glass? Two stacks of glasses - take from the left (no drugs) if it’s a bloke and from the right (drugs) if it’s a woman you want to rape. If you are working alone it’s not hard to imagine how a bar person could do this. Unless you fully inspect the glass prior to a drink being poured?

The wine or spirit bottle may have the drug in it- unless you buy a bottle it is feasible

I'm sorry to hear that this happened. If it would help your dd to feel better about going out in future, you can buy nail varnish which changes colour if your drink has been spiked and you dip your finger in.

We obviously don’t know for sure if it was one of the girls in the group, but often it is done as a prank, they do it to have a laugh watching someone lose control.

It’s horrendous and it is bloody illegal.

Rape gangs raped as a group of men. Families raped together and colleagues raped together. That’s why I ask if the bar staff knew the other people in the bar.

I didn't read anywhere that the op said her DD and her friend had their two drinks in their hand at all times.
When I read your first post I was going to say I commend you for being so proactively eagle-eyed making it your business to make sure nobody does any funny things around the drink intended for you.
There are many reasons as already mentioned that young people especially who aren't thinking that way when they visit a bar with a friend and this can happen very quickly either behind the bar, or in front of it by someone who is experienced.
The tone of your post suggests that they, the girls, are to blame for their predicament.
Let's just leave it at you "can't understand" because it's clear that you can't.

Was it a man or woman who served her? I think you said they felt they were being watched? Were the watchers chatting to the bar staff? Did they know any of the people or had they been in that bar before? Were there other staff or customers or a doorman?

Lots of girls who were groomed by the rape gangs were given drugs by the men and lots on here saying they think they have been drugged by staff in bars - maybe it’s more common than we think. I mean the drug could be ready at the bottom of a glass - it doesn’t need to even be put in by a staff member especially one working the bar alone.

I have not been drugged in a bar but I have had a few friends who were drugged.

The it’s her word against his is appalling and reminds me of rape cases. Why don’t they have the same query over a stolen car - maybe the thief was given the keys by the victim?

They're goading. I've ignored their comment to me just before the one you've quoted as I don't believe it was in good faith. It came across as prurient.

My son also at 18, he felt weird and ran home. We found him throwing up in the sink, he fell backwards. We got him to hospital. Earlier I’d sent a text saying we were heading home. I was troubled by his reply, didn’t seem like him. It transpired that a man he played pool with put his name and number into DS phone (sent me the text), when my son ran he sent a text saying “why did you run off? Come party at mine” with an address! At hospital they just gave him saline, I asked if we could stay to monitor if he got worse. He was on an armchair under my coat. That’s when the story started coming out. I told staff and they said police would have to do independent blood tests and they wouldn’t get there in time. I had a name, number and address but what good was that? It is real - I looked him up on Facebook later. I shudder to think what would’ve happened if my son hadn’t run so fast. Also, we’d just made a train and the next would’ve been a half-hour wait - he’d already have been out cold on the floor. The sad thing is, he’d only walked 5 mins to the local gym to find out about signing up. On the walk back he fancied a quick drink and game of pool - novelty as he’d only just turned 18. You’d think you’d be able to do that in your local area!

It happened to me. I was at a street festival (counsel ran), I wasn't drinking alcohol and was only 16. I was sipping from a tin of coke I don't remember ever setting it down. What do you think I should have done differently?

My delightful friends left me on a park bench to "sleep it off" I woke up a few hours later, in the dark, covered in vomit not knowing where i was. I have no idea what happened to me between losing consciousness and waking up.

Is this comment for real? Fucking hell.

One of the girls did it for a laugh? No offence, but are you fucking kidding? Surely not? It’s an incredibly dangerous thing to do, not to mention downright nasty. If life as a female isn’t tricky enough, are they seriously drugging another now?

Just to clarify, I’m not doubting you but bloody hell, that’s awful if another girl was responsible.

yes, that's what i mean - all men benefit from one or more (usually many more) of the various self-curtailments that women are forced to make to survive the patriarchy.

@Mesk it’s disgraceful the police just brush it off.

What would you like them to do ?

I had a drink stolen in a crowded bar. I still don't know how, it was behind my foot and i was standing right up against the wall, so bottle was wedged between my heel and the wall.

Fortunately it was taken and not tampered with but it made me feel sick to realise that could just have easily happened.

My DD had her drink spiked at a closed private event two years ago, she doesn’t drink and was drinking a Diet Coke, she said she noticed it was extra fizzy, she had a few sips of it, said to her friend this feels strange and that is the last thing she remembers, we suspect it was one of a group of girls she was with, they do it for the laugh.

Her friend filled her in on what happened to her, vomiting and bouncing off walls and falling all over the place, I am still shocked no one brought her to hospital, she felt unwell for a week afterwards, but she was so traumatized by it, that it ruined her last year of university as she didn’t want to go out or socialize.

I hope your DD and her friend recover okay, it’s disgraceful the police just brush it off.

This obviously applies to men and women…

How did they get it in her glass? Presumably it was the bar staff?

A friend had her drink spiked (35 years ago). We noticed immediately as she didn’t drink alcohol. It was my first experience of this and sadly not my last, although I have been fortunate not to have been on the receiving end.

I’m so sorry this happened to your daughter OP. I hope she makes a full and quick recovery.

Crimes against women aren’t taken seriously enough in this country. Just look at the amount of
rapists they’re releasing early from prison or the amount of rapes never convicted. It’s abhorrent.

For what purpose?

Unless they had "friends" waiting in the wings to take advantage of the situation....yuch...

It’s awful but it’s not exclusively men against women. My brother was spiked in his early 20’s. His friends found him passed out on the bathroom floor of a bar. Rotten folk out there