To want MIL to stop doing our laundry?

Grown ups would also select and pay for professional childcare as well. What a bunch of ungrateful bastards. If her intent was to interfere and undermine, get someone else to work for free. If it was to help and lighten the load, be thankful and put up with being embarrassed, some people dont have free cleaners and childcare.

😂

After seeing your sex outfit I think it likely she won’t do the laundry again tbh.

He says she’s doing YOU a favour? What the actual fuck! What a ridiculous misogynist.

In this situation, I would reallocate the family laundry to your husband, but wash your own.

She brought up a son who was once a teenager, I am sure she'd have seen it all😅 How about you put the washing on yourself before you leave for work and ask if she would be so kind to hang it all out for you? Women of that generation often find it impossible to not potter around the house and I am sure she means well. My MIL is like that, she came to stay when my youngest was born and I will be forever grateful for her help during that time x

It’s not a gift horse if you don’t want her doing it.

@Twatterati Could you and DH have separate laundry baskets so your dirty washing can be left for you, but she can do his and any DCs?

Your suggestion wins the award for being even more ridiculous than any of the others so far- well done! 👏

YANBU! I do not want my own mother in law rummaging around in a basket full of my worn knickers, JFC.

I’d have felt the same as you but now you know I would sort out loads to go on and leave them for her to do. Then you get the help you actually want!

You are incredibly ungrateful. Not only do you get free childcare from her but also this. It isn't hard to take out what you don't want her to see. She sounds like a nice lady trying to be kind. You are the one being controlling here.

Do the people who think OP should be grateful, when you have relatives staying do you just go in to their rooms and rifle through their clothes, without checking first.

MIL stays with us for a couple of weeks at a time so will want some laundry doing. I will ask her and then give her the option to do her own, or put it in the laundry basket or directly into the washing machine when I am sorting out a wash. I wouldn’t just march into the guest room and take it

He is happy for his mum to do his own laundry, the job is being done leaving time for other things. I’m open mouthed people want to do housework. Perhaps I’m just a slattern.

YANBU, I felt very weird when MIL did ours and would fold my big granny pants for me…

She's not "rifling" through it, with evil intent - rifle means "handle roughly with intent to steal". She's washing it, and probably left that one garment out because it needs a delicate wash or something.

Rifling doesn’t always mean to steal

Eugh. I hear you. I had a bf once who's mum used to change his bed sheets! One time he was driving and he got a text and told me to reply to it and it was a message from his mum asking what a stain was!! 🤮

Its weird. Have you considered moving your wash basket to an area she shouldn’t go in ?

Or maybe just pay for childcare and wash your own pants
let MIL go and help people who would hugely appreciate free childcare, never mind somebody kindly trying to take the domestic burden off their family too

The hypocrisy of this thread. Outrage that the washing is only OPs chore
but all quite happy to instruct poor old MIL to do the chores you deem suitable for her

i think it would be a good experiment to see how much the OP cares about her washing when she loses her free childcare

I had an identical problem with my ex MIL. She would use the spare key to let herself in and start doing laundry. I'm quite fussy about how I do my washing. Colour liquid for coloured clothing, not mixing lights and darks etc. She ruined a lot of things as she would pile everything in together.

Massive intrusion too, I didn't like the idea of her poking around my home when I wasn't there either. We had to have a polite word in the end.

I thought that as well...somebody suggested "allocating other tasks to her", like she's the hired help.

@RafaFan MIL when staying with other BIL always wanted to be helpful but did things that they didn’t find helpful, so they suggested she do other tasks if she wanted to. Kept her busy (and happy) and also made for more harmonious visits

Something is only helpful if it is what the person you are doing it for is happy for you to do it. It’s not controlling to say you don’t want her to do your laundry. Very few people have responded on whether they would go into their MIL’s house and start doing her laundry.

If MIL had said to OP there are times when toddler is napping that I can do other stuff, I am quite happy to do laundry, cook a meal, housework etc is there something you would like me to do and OP had said laundry (but only if you want to, I’m happy if you just sit and read or watch tv etc) then that would be fine. But that hasn’t happened

Simply put the laundry basket somewhere else. Or put the laundry elsewhere & leave the empty basket where it normally belongs. Or tell her that you are trying to save water in this hosepipe ban.

I’d be telling her in no uncertain tend to leave my bloody washing alone.

A person doing things you don't want or need and sifting through your underwear is NOT helping. Is your dh always rudely minimising to you and a mummy's boy?