To want MIL to stop doing our laundry?

Rifling doesn’t always mean to steal

She's not "rifling" through it, with evil intent - rifle means "handle roughly with intent to steal". She's washing it, and probably left that one garment out because it needs a delicate wash or something.

YANBU, I felt very weird when MIL did ours and would fold my big granny pants for me…

He is happy for his mum to do his own laundry, the job is being done leaving time for other things. I’m open mouthed people want to do housework. Perhaps I’m just a slattern.

Do the people who think OP should be grateful, when you have relatives staying do you just go in to their rooms and rifle through their clothes, without checking first.

MIL stays with us for a couple of weeks at a time so will want some laundry doing. I will ask her and then give her the option to do her own, or put it in the laundry basket or directly into the washing machine when I am sorting out a wash. I wouldn’t just march into the guest room and take it

You are incredibly ungrateful. Not only do you get free childcare from her but also this. It isn't hard to take out what you don't want her to see. She sounds like a nice lady trying to be kind. You are the one being controlling here.

I’d have felt the same as you but now you know I would sort out loads to go on and leave them for her to do. Then you get the help you actually want!

YANBU! I do not want my own mother in law rummaging around in a basket full of my worn knickers, JFC.

@Twatterati Could you and DH have separate laundry baskets so your dirty washing can be left for you, but she can do his and any DCs?

Your suggestion wins the award for being even more ridiculous than any of the others so far- well done! 👏

It’s not a gift horse if you don’t want her doing it.

She brought up a son who was once a teenager, I am sure she'd have seen it all😅 How about you put the washing on yourself before you leave for work and ask if she would be so kind to hang it all out for you? Women of that generation often find it impossible to not potter around the house and I am sure she means well. My MIL is like that, she came to stay when my youngest was born and I will be forever grateful for her help during that time x

He says she’s doing YOU a favour? What the actual fuck! What a ridiculous misogynist.

In this situation, I would reallocate the family laundry to your husband, but wash your own.

After seeing your sex outfit I think it likely she won’t do the laundry again tbh.

Grown ups would also select and pay for professional childcare as well. What a bunch of ungrateful bastards. If her intent was to interfere and undermine, get someone else to work for free. If it was to help and lighten the load, be thankful and put up with being embarrassed, some people dont have free cleaners and childcare.

😂

Where do you keep your dirty-washing basket?

My MiL is gone now, but I’m sure would not have dreamt of going into our bedroom unless specifically asked to, and I’m sure would have thought it intrusive to handle any of my underwear.

This. It really is that simple. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth

Re making it obvious she had seen it....my mother did something similar.

She decided to "help" by doing my sister and BIL washing while they were on holiday. All washed, dried, ironed and put away....except the little pile of my sisters (perfectly ordinary) underwear. Not thinking much of it, Sis opened her underwear drawer and there on the top was her "neck massager" 😉. Mum had obviously tried to pretend she hadnt seen it, but by putting everything else away except the undies, she couldnt have made it more plain that she had!

She never did their washing again though!

Grown ups would also select and pay for professional childcare as well. What a bunch of ungrateful bastards. If her intent was to interfere and undermine, get someone else to work for free. If it was to help and lighten the load, be thankful and put up with being embarrassed, some people dont have free cleaners and childcare.

(Should be clear in relation to my post above: they are in their 20s! Not children)

When my kids are here I ask them if they have anything they want putting in if I’m doing a wash … I don’t go in and take stuff because they’re adults and might rather I didn’t. So I wouldn’t do that if I was visiting them either

Except I’ve never ever once seen a thread saying anything like this

The secret of being a good MIL or indeed DM when you are in someone’s else home is to ask first. I would not dream of going into anyone else’s house and rifle in their laundry basket to do laundry without asking first.

Many people will have their laundry basket in their bedrooms and that can be seen as a private space, so again wouldn’t want a parent going in there.

Only exception would be if someone was ill in hospital and needed clean clothes, but again where possible I would ask first

When DS is staying over at ours (he splits time between here, GF and uni), I will check whether he wants any laundry doing and usually ask him to put laundry basket outside his door so I don’t need to go into his room, as that is his private space. As he doesn’t spend much time here he never has enough laundry of his own to do a full wash, so will just add any items to ours

Funny how we're all different, isn't it? My MIL would never do our laundry but if she randomly did I would be completely mortified! It feels very personal having someone handle your used underwear etc. I definitely wouldn't like it and would have to say something, kindly, about it being unnecessary.

My ex partners gran once let herself in when everyone was out, took my washing basket and done all of my laundry at her house (great!)… until she handed me several small brown paper bags at the dinner table in front of my FIL and BIL declaring loudly that theyre my ‘smalls’
Literally got handed paper bags containing my thongs in front of everyone over dinner 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

I'd absolutely LOVE someone to come in and do my washing every week!
Id deliberately sort out the washing basket so only items I wanted her to see were in there though from now on......
Or, you could have some serious fun with this and leave random items in there each week for her to 'find' 😂😂