To want MIL to stop doing our laundry?

What an angel. I’d love this 😅

“Thanks so much for doing the laundry, so thoughtful of you. However not to worry next time, I would rather do it myself. Save yourself the time and enjoy a cuppa and playing with X.”

This doesn’t need to be over complicated.

This is the question that needs answering. Why is she doing YOU a favour and not "us"? Does all the housework and washing fall on you? Is the childcare solely your responsibility. If my husband made this comment to me it would piss me off more than whatever was being complained about. Tell her no. You do not want her to do any housework or laundry and start giving those jobs to husband. If he refuses, then do your own washing yourself and cooking, tell MIL he childcare services are no longer needed and let husband pay for professionals.

I’m in pain and would love some help with housework, send her to mine? xx

I'm sorry, "saves you a job"? 😅

Doing “you” a favour? Doesn’t he have any dirty laundry? If he does, is washing it your job? Is she doing you a favour looking after YOUR child? Does he “babysit” his own children? So many questions!

She is being helpful of course but I don’t think I’d like her rummaging through my smalls either.

I hope you replied "It's probably cum" 🤣

Shes helping just see it for what it is and not pick fault.

Why should Op accept help that she doesn't want?

Because MIL looks after her GC once a fortnight?

I cannot believe all these people complaining about their MILs helping with childcare and doing their washing. I would KILL for that kind of support and help. Wow.

Hi,

guess what? Your MiL had sex ( prob still does) and prob gives no fucks about your bedroom outfit.
if it was me I would have left it because it probably needs a delicate wash and she didn’t want to ruin it.

Shes helping just see it for what it is and not pick fault.
Why look for the negative just appreciate the positive.

My DF used to do this sometimes and I loved it. She's just trying to help you.

I hate other people doing my laundry - I didn't let my ex husband do it when we were together let alone anyone else.
I load the washing machine during the week with stuff I don't mind other people washing and keep a laundry basket in my room of stuff I wash myself. When the machine is full anyone can start a wash (I'm training teenagers!)

Like hell I'd stop her. I'd keep a separate bag in the bottom of my wardrobe for "riske" laundry & my bed would be stripped & in the laundry basket weekly. What a MIL, I hope you regularly make her feel loved.

So these people who have no issue with it, wouldn’t mind their mil going through their drawers tidying them and looking at personal paperwork?

Same thing for those who don’t like their laundry being done, but these people have no understanding of other people’s boundaries, just because it’s laundry and it doesn’t matter TO THEM. To US it does matter. And I’m shouting because I’m as frustrated at these people just as I’d be at a mil who thinks it’s ok to go through my dirty pants. It would be a hill to die on for me.

A person doing things you don't want or need and sifting through your underwear is NOT helping. Is your dh always rudely minimising to you and a mummy's boy?

I’d be telling her in no uncertain tend to leave my bloody washing alone.

Simply put the laundry basket somewhere else. Or put the laundry elsewhere & leave the empty basket where it normally belongs. Or tell her that you are trying to save water in this hosepipe ban.

@RafaFan MIL when staying with other BIL always wanted to be helpful but did things that they didn’t find helpful, so they suggested she do other tasks if she wanted to. Kept her busy (and happy) and also made for more harmonious visits

Something is only helpful if it is what the person you are doing it for is happy for you to do it. It’s not controlling to say you don’t want her to do your laundry. Very few people have responded on whether they would go into their MIL’s house and start doing her laundry.

If MIL had said to OP there are times when toddler is napping that I can do other stuff, I am quite happy to do laundry, cook a meal, housework etc is there something you would like me to do and OP had said laundry (but only if you want to, I’m happy if you just sit and read or watch tv etc) then that would be fine. But that hasn’t happened

I thought that as well...somebody suggested "allocating other tasks to her", like she's the hired help.

I had an identical problem with my ex MIL. She would use the spare key to let herself in and start doing laundry. I'm quite fussy about how I do my washing. Colour liquid for coloured clothing, not mixing lights and darks etc. She ruined a lot of things as she would pile everything in together.

Massive intrusion too, I didn't like the idea of her poking around my home when I wasn't there either. We had to have a polite word in the end.

i think it would be a good experiment to see how much the OP cares about her washing when she loses her free childcare

The hypocrisy of this thread. Outrage that the washing is only OPs chore
but all quite happy to instruct poor old MIL to do the chores you deem suitable for her

Or maybe just pay for childcare and wash your own pants
let MIL go and help people who would hugely appreciate free childcare, never mind somebody kindly trying to take the domestic burden off their family too

Its weird. Have you considered moving your wash basket to an area she shouldn’t go in ?

Eugh. I hear you. I had a bf once who's mum used to change his bed sheets! One time he was driving and he got a text and told me to reply to it and it was a message from his mum asking what a stain was!! 🤮