To want MIL to stop doing our laundry?

What? You think offering childcare gives you a free pass to be an interfering, overbearing bulldozer with no manners who ignores what the woman who actually lives there actually wants?

You don't sound delightful. At all.

What? The women who’s looking after her grand child for free?

you sound delightful.

Better still, the woman who doesn't live there can learn some manners and do as she's told.

Could you do it this way - tell her you run the wash overnight as it’s cheaper. Then leave the wet stuff for her to hang out or dry stuff to fold. That way you control what’s in there and she gets to help you.

It's not help, because it's not required and OP actively doesn't want her to interfere in this fashion.

So does your mum do the laundry even if your partner hates it?

Reminder, it is neither helpful nor useful to insist on doing something in someone's home that they don't want, don't need and find intrusive.

And even suggeting that someone hide their laundry basket - thus creating even more stress and hassle for them, rather than telling the woman to stop behaving intrusively - is actually quite fucking bonkers.

And your husband is rude to you and a mummy's boy. Tell him to sort his mother's boundary bulldozing behaviour out.

This thread is wild. Why on earth should OP buy a secret second wash basket to hide her sexy undies in when the very bloody obvious solution is to just ask MIL to stop as OP doesn’t want it?! Too many posters are projecting their own desire for laundry help onto this thread. 😵‍💫

I think let her if it's her way of helping and being useful. My dad always used to wash up even though we had a dishwasher. It was his way of helping, and he was very good at it.

So I have no issues with my mum doing it but my partner hates it, particularly his boxers. He finds it weird that his MIL has touched and washed his boxers. That being said, I'm not sure how I would feel if it was my MIL and I love her to pieces!

You're a lot more organised than me, in that case!
I've always been really self conscious about my knickers since I got caught out with my period in my teens. I always have a bottle of hydrogen peroxide in for stains, cleaning and whitening whites.

You're a lot more organised than me, in that case!

Really? Without wanting to be crude, do you never have the odd bit of discharge or period leakage?
Of course I have!
But I put my knickers in cold water with hydrogen peroxide straight away so they dont stain and ruin them.

It’s highly intrusive. Tell your DH to tell her to stop going in your wash basket, and make clear that if he doesn’t, you will, and you will not bother trying to be polite.

Again, it's not helpful to do something unwanted, un -needed and fiddle with a person's underwear.

Nope, having to hide your laundry from a painful overstepping mil doesn't work and is a batshit suggestion.

Your house is yours. She needs to be told to stop overstepping.

And your husband needs to stop being a weird mummy's boy and tell his mother to quit it.

I would absolutely never regret putting a stop to this nonsense. It's your house. Your choice.

End.

That is SO the sort of thing my MIL would say. 😄

My late MIL never did anything in our house but if she came round when we were out, she would re-arrange the washing on the rotary drier in the garden so that all underwear was carefully concealed on the inner lines by larger items. I just shoved things up any old how. At the time I was annoyed but decided to say nothing. She must have found this a bit frustrating because she commented one day on a neighbour's straight line of washing and said she preferred rotary driers because you could easily conceal "underthings"! I nearly bit my tongue trying not to laugh.

My thoughts exactly. She's providing you with free childcare AND housekeeping. She's sees you as family and doing her bit. Don't be so precious just keep your lingerie out of the washing.

Ok I get u feel its a little invasive. She probably left your lingerie item as needs handwashed. Dont over think it

YANBU but I would not say anything.

As you know when she is coming I would hide the contents of the laundry basket before she arrives and make sure the basket is empty. Will take 30 seconds - probably path of least resistance and ‘hurt’ feelings if she has issues with boundaries.

I agree. Its too personal. Just ask her not to do it.

Really? Without wanting to be crude, do you never have the odd bit of discharge or period leakage?

Wow I’d love this! You must be mad take all the help you can get

I can understand people liking different clothes washed in a certain way and being upset if someone washed them without care

I am genuinely struggling to understand is people getting upset at someone else seeing their knickers and pants. My mum and mil who used to put a wash in and eldest son who will put in the washing if he calls around and sees it needs doing have all seen knicks and undies on the washing line or airer anyway.

So yeah, it's not helpful to do something unwanted, un-needed and fiddle with their underwear. Your house is yours. She needs to be told to stop overstepping.

And your husband needs to stop being a weird mummy's boy and tell his mother to quit it.

And I would absolutely never regret putting a stop to this nonsense.