To want MIL to stop doing our laundry?

I'd imagine she'd leave it because it's probably not machine washable. If it's lace or leather or has straps so probably didn't want to ruin it. I'm assuming she's nice.

Just ask her not to. Say it makes you uncomfortable her seeing your dirty clothes and lingerie. But as a side note. Could she do mine instead? Doesn't sound like she's done a bad job of it.

Not if they go through a laundry basket without asking!

Speak to MIL yourself. I wouldn’t want anyone else washing my (totally boring) underwear.

I don't understand how YOU op, as a grown woman can't speak to her yourself?
'Barbara, please don't do our laundry. If you are looking for a way to help, I'd appreciate you vacuuming/mopping/trimming the bushes or whatever'.

This would drive me nuts and I'd feel it really oversteps a personal line. I wouldn't want her touching the old bloomers I wear when on my period for example!

Mother in laws can't win,can they?

OP shouldn't have to leave anything out of the laundry basket.

It’s her house

Did I get that right? Your DH said your MiL is doing YOU a favour?

What made him incapable of doing some washing?
(Sorry if I read that wrong).

My MIL (who is lovely) also had an obsession about ironing. I found it intrusive, I used to hide it in a cupboard.

I mf you don’t want her to wash your underwear put it somewhere else. I keep all my underwear in a separate small bag and wash it separately as the normal washes are too severe.

Do this and let her get on with the other stuff.

I was staying at my wife’s DGM and had been on my period and stained some pants. I came back and she’s gone into our room for the washing, which we had planned to do ourselves, and I came back to my big stained granny pants hung up to dry on an airer.

I’d hide the dirty washing or take out delicates I’d be uncomfortable about her handling

Dont involve your DH. Either you a) ask her not to, b)remove items you dont want her to see or do, c) sort washing yourself and leave it in piles near machine.

Why is the DH being unreasonable? It’s saving him a job and he’s happy to let mil do it. There is only one person being unreasonable and it’s not DH or mil.

I’d love it if I had a mother in law that helped. Instead mine expects waiting on hand and foot. On the very rare occasion she babysits she will expect me to do her dinner before I go out and always leaves a pile of dirty washing up for us to tackle (my hubby usually deals with it as he knows I’ll go mad if I walk into my kitchen looking like a bomb site) and always brings her stinky dog.

My mil was like this, even before kids. She’d let herself in and take washing back to hers and generally destroy it - random white bras turning red, ironing stuff to shit so now xh’s polo shirt collars were all ruined…I put up with it for a while but in the end had to go apoplectic and I took the keys off her.

Yeah I'd hate that too. It is invasive to go through someone's dirty laundry without asking first. I've let my own mother do my very dirty laundry after giving birth to my DS but I absolutely wouldn't want my MIL doing it!

I'd also be irritated at her putting on a washload that wasn't full as that's just a waste of power when you could just put it on later or the next day.

Perhaps better to tell her how she can make herself useful. Like doing just childrens laundry?

I think your DH is being unreasonable for dismissing your feelings too! I'd be leaving something similarly embarrassing in his laundry for her to find!

Even then, op might have period blood on her pants or something… not something you want in laws handling and rifling through.if she is dying to do laundry then only kids. Or get separate laundry baskets for you and your DH so she can do his if she feels the need (as apparently in your home laundry is your job op not your DH!)

God no! I don’t want people doing my washing with my underwear! Nope!

Tell your partner to ask her to please leave the adults laundry as it’s a bit personal
but you’re so grateful for the tidying up
she does for the kids (and maybe give her permission to do the kids laundry!)

also kick your DH in the bum for saying it’s one less job for you rather than for ‘us’

Echoing others who want to borrow her! Seriously, just talk. She is trying to be kind, but it is your house, so politely just say you like to do your own wash and she should just relax anytime LO is asleep. Even better, make her feel valued and useful by leaving a list of library books you want for LO and asking her opinion which is best, or something like that.
Don't worry about the outfit. She knows how her grandkid arrived and won't be shocked!

I wouldn't want anyone else doing my washing. I get weirded out handing it over to laundry services in hotels when I have to. I wouldn't want to cause an issue with my MIL either though. So I'd probably just hide the laundry basket when she's over 😂Have you got a wardrobe big enough to stash it in temporarily?

Sympathy here. My ex-MIL didn’t do the washing but she’d insist on doing any ironing lying around. But she’d iron everything on the same really hot temperature and would iron jumpers and t-shirts so you’d end up with a big shiny imprint of the neckline on the back of the item. I’d then have to wash it all again to get rid of the marks. I ended up hiding the iron if she was due round.

I won’t even go into her other obsession with leaving me a pan of peeled potatoes and veg each time. Didn’t matter what I had planned for dinner, there were always several saucepans on the hob ready to go!

She was quite batshit at times but I do miss her since our divorce.

Thank her profusely for everything she does and keep your risque items out of the laundry basket.

Get some of those mesh laundry bags to put your "delicates" in before they go in the laundry basket.

Yeah, I'd find it really intrusive, I don't want anyone (except DH) going through my dirty laundry!