To want MIL to stop doing our laundry?

Face cloths sorry it auto corrected. The things you wash your face with. I’ve got muslin ones and Terry towelling ones. I’ve got mega reactive skin and don’t like fabric softener on them.

SHE has the problem so SHE can mention it if she’s so bothered - or is SHE too wimpy?

My late MIL used to do our washing and change our beds once a week, I used to love coming home after work to a lovely clean & tidy home, never bothered me at all it was such a lovely kind thing to do.

What are face clothes?

“Oh MIL, I don’t expect you to do our laundry! That’s too much to ask!

”But if you really have time and want to, putting the kids’ bed-linen in or doing a load of towels would be great! “

Yeah, I'd say 'thanks for [whatever she did that wasn't overstepping, but honestly I'd rather do the laundry myself because I know what's coming up and when there'll be a full load - really nice of you to think of it, but just leave that job for me in future!"

I'd ask her not to touch the laundry, and plant a pair of filthy old W fronts in there with suspicious poo chocolate skid mark stains and see if she ever touches the washing again. 😂

She probably didn't wash the risqué item to avoid it being washed I correctly or shrinking and also so that if your child helped you unload the wash as they often do, it wouldn't be seen. She was doing you a favour both with the wash and your delicate item.

If you don't like it either tell her not to or just put in PC things. But I think you'd be crazy not to accept some genuine and clearly supportive help!

Does your wimpy husband often back mummy over you? That would be worrying if so.

I wouldn’t want anyone else doing my laundry, or even my ironing. In your position I’d be very unhappy that my husband was too wet to bring up the subject with his mother, as you have reasonably requested, so I’d probably speak to her myself, letting her know I appreciated that she was finding things to do, but please leave the laundry alone.

DH sometimes puts a wash on and washes my face clothes and sports wear with fabric softener 😱 so now anything I put in a net bag in the wash basket he knows is off limits so I’d be inclined to do something similar, or just say to her Doris I really appreciate you helping but I’d rather tackle laundry myself but if you fancy washing up, vacuuming I’d really appreciate it.

Buy something like this, add a hasp/staple and small padlock.

Buy Habitat 100L Wood Storage Bin - Natural | Laundry baskets | Argos

I thought this. She probably looked at the wash label and it said it was unsuitable for the wash that the other clothes were going on. I doubt very much it was done to shame anyone. Not that it’s shameful keeping the fire burning in your relationship

Browse away, my knickers get dirty and I have sex. I also wear bras and they sometimes get wiffy in hot weather. I believe I have that in common with 99% of the female population. I’m unsure what I have to be ashamed of, what needs hiding or why another woman would judge me. And to be honest if someone did want to judge me because occasionally my period (when I had them) leaked a bit, judge away that reflects more on you than me.

The mixed responses on the thread show many people wouldn’t have any issue with it.

The OP does which is fine but she needs to be the one to say so to her!

Surely if she wants to do some boring chores, there's other things she can be doing like deep cleaning the bathroom grout or cleaning out the oven?

Tell her thank you but you have systems about sorting, waiting for the good weather to hang it out, waiting for a full load etc and you'd prefer it if she didn't do the washing.

Yes you should absolutely tell her. I look after my granddaughter a few times a week. While I'm there I do all their housework and washing, sometimes I even prepare dinner for them. I always ask and they're happy for me to do it but I hope they'd tell me if I ever overstep.

I do think this is invasive. Purely because anything could be in there. Period pants etc. anything other than surface cleaning she should ask. My MIL would clean if she came round but then she would be in draws and sorting those out. To find my bank statements on the side where she took them out a draw she had no reason to go into was when I spoke up. When I asked her not to do it again and I was grateful she was helping but there are personal things I want to keep private she actually made a remark on how much I spent in spent in next. Something she would only have known by looking through my statement as I’d ordered a piece of furniture that I was waiting to be delivered & hadn’t told her about.

I think running the hoover, washing up and a bit of polishing & a little tidy up is massively helpful, but anything that requires putting things in wardrobes. Throwing things out is to excessive

either tell her not to worry about laundry and make light of it, or move your laundry basket. Where is it? Bathroom? Hallway? She shouldn’t be going into your bedroom certainly, if she is, fix that!

Do you really think it's appropriate go fiddle around with other peoples laundry? 🤯

She didn't do all of it. So she must have "browsed"...

If you don’t want her to do it then it needs to be you who says so to her. She is trying to be helpful

OP, just fling a cock ring in there next time, that'll put a stop to it.

I would hate this. Once when my DH was having surgery and my MIL was taking care of the kids she put my washing in the dryer. That alone was too much for me. I'd have flipped if she'd actually put on a wash. I made it very clear to her that she was never to touch my clothes (I don't care about DH's clothes!).

If she's looking after your child you must be able to speak to her. Forget what your DH says, just tell her to please stop washing your stuff.

There's a difference between her knowing that and seeing evidence of it!

Yep this.

Either speak to her or lock your laundry away somewhere (garage).