AIBU to consider leaving our knitting group over its new policy?

She makes it clear that she doesn’t see why the group should be persuaded by the chair to accept men who say they are women simply because they say they are women.

Have you met any men?

Dream on. I haven’t suggested any of that. I can feel the desperation coming off you. It’s a hobby group for knitting, it’s not a women’s group.

Have you met many men? It happens, even when there's one of them in a women's space.

Lots of WI groups near you that get their kit off, do squats with kids and/or close the gender gap are there? I thought they were generally about women getting together to socialise, try new activities and learn new things.

You know what I mean. You’re doing things like squats and so on that men will leer at. I’ve never even heard of a man leering at a woman knitting,

You don't have to fight back just say that you prefer it the way it is and suggest that a new club would be better for those people who want to change it.

Er, I went to a women only weight lifting class last week (private, not council run) and I certainly didn't have to undress in front of anyone, and had I needed to change there's a women's and men's separate changing room. So, no, undressing isn't the reason.

Why would you even let a man dominate a knitting group? They are going to be a minority in the group.

I used to be a member of a women's only bible study group. It had been running for over 30 years. Then a TW asked to join. The mixed sex group wasn't of interest. The vicar lectured is on being kind. So we let the TW join. The dynamic completely changed. We were spoken over, corrected, almost sneered at. If we related a bible passage to being female the TW would claim it was triggering. One by one most of us left.

Bible study, like knitting, can be done as a mixed sex group. But if the group that exists is women only, then the men/TW/NBs will have to set up their own. Not take over the existing one and then tell the women to make a new one.

Wow. So far you have suggested that women who do not want to allow men into a women’s group are:

• racist
• Sexist
• want the men to kill themselves
• Right wing

Any more you want to throw out there?

Is there any circumstance where you think women should be allowed to set boundaries about who they spend time with, or should we just accept that there is nothing we can do without including men?

You could equally argue that a TIM could find a mixed hobby group and has no need, apart from vexatiously inserting themselves into a group where existing members don’t want him.

Are you saying you're not allowed a single sex group then? As that's not true.

Yes she does. She wants to convince her group to change their mind and exclude men

Yeah trans knitters are a real problem in society.

The things people worry about, Jesus H Christ.

The new chairman (woman) has recently decided that we should announce that we are ‘trans friendly’ and try to attract trans women and non-binary people.

Has the chair explained why she feels this is necessary?

I have been a member of several knitting groups since I began about 20 years ago. There's always conversation but we can all manage to knit and talk at the same time, except possibly when counting stitches or when at a complex part of the pattern.

I can't ever remember a man wanting to join. One of us describes herself as non-binary in the "about me" section for one online group but she's never said anything about it. Contentious topics are avoided - apparently one person is a Trump supporter but that's never discussed.

Men do knit, and I expect join knitting groups but not in large numbers.

So, I regret that I suspect anyone born male wanting to join your group might only be doing it to feel accepted as a woman, rather than sharing in your hobby.

But it's also likely that no men will apply.

Quite. As long as they are clearly labelled, you can have men's groups, women's groups and mixed sex groups. All are fine and all are good. What you can't do is call one a thing that it is not. And you can't mean gender rather than sex in the the single sex groups.

Simple. Groups for all according to their wish. If they can be arsed to set them up.

No, those groups do activities that require undressing, or have minors, or are part of closing the gender gap. None of that applies to a knitting group.

Well, here's the point....

....there are TONS of hobby groups just for women. Locally, off the top of my head: walking; social; games; book club; crafts; networking. Those are just the ones I know of. I'm in a couple of them and do things with a few of them.

There's no reason there CAN'T be a hobby group just for women.

And, to balance things out, in my village we also have man cave. I don't know what's in it because I'm a woman and happy to accept that it's not for me.

The OP does not want to exclude men from a hobby group. She wants to belong to an all female group because of previous sexual abuse based trauma. She explained this perfectly clearly.