AIBU to consider leaving our knitting group over its new policy?

Women wanting spaces of their own, is not 'hate' towards men. A lot of men agree with you though and think women saying no to them is hate, so you're in good terrible company.

It just changes the dynamic it’s ridiculous ask for a group vote
but if it goes ahead leave
doesn’t mean your anti anything it just your preference

That is perfect. Take yourself off, away from women who want to meet and chat with other women and avoid men in womanface who insist you call them "she" .

Sounds as though there aren’t any actual trans people wanting to join but this woman is wanting to virtue signal?

That seems like the biggest issue. She’s actively wanting to go out and attract trans or NB people, thereby changing the nature of the group.

If you had an actual trans person wanting to join you could probably quietly make a decision about that person and whether they were likely to affect the tone of the group etc

Transwomen a blessing? No, they're men with a sexual fetish of performing 'woman' and being pandered to by women like you .

It's funny how trans people make up a tiny per cent of the population yet mumsnetters all have many trans friends. The only one I know comes into my workplace as a customer and frankly is not a nice person.

It didn't clarify at all, just obfuscated and confused the reader. Best not use this ridiculous and unnecessary prefix when it relates to people.

What are you basing that fetish thing on, out of interest? Anecdote, or reality?

Why ‘a blessing’? Are transwomen more ‘special’ than actual women? This is why women object to men in their spaces, because if a man is a woman, they’re suddenly the best type of woman ever 🙄

I'm broadly GC. But over the last year, two separate trans people have come into my circle, and it does affect how I see this thread. Both those people are calm, intelligent and gentle types, so all this 'they'll be dominating/mansplaining/leering' said doesn't match my experience.

Ask for a secret ballot of all the members and make sure that the count is overseen by several people. If the group vote in favour then form a new group.

Oh. I think you've made your position clear here. It isn't really about the knitting or about men, is it?

It would have been better if you'd been upfront in your first post really.

I wouldn't want to be in a knitting group with people with bigoted attitudes like this, be they men, women, or somewhere in between.

I'm guessing that you've not met many, if any trans-women at all OP. I think your reaction to the inclusion of trans people may well be based off media coverage only and that is usually showing politicized, extreme aspects of the pro and anti trans culture in the uk.

I think if you allowed some gobshite man into the group you might have a problem, but trans-women, genuine people who want to sit and knit with you? They'd be an absolute blessing. And if you do mean what you say, you'd be able to listen to them alongside all the younger women you enjoy hearing from.

I hate the cis thing, but I needed to use it here for clarity.

She didn't say that. She said if it was fully mixed sex and everyone agreed, that would be fine.

But she doesn't agree that some men are allowed to join (because they claim to be women) and others not. And with having to pretend that doesn't make it a mixed sex group, which it would.

I haven’t read the replies so likely already recommended, could you suggest an anonymous vote for all current members and let the numbers do the decision making. We use this for a group I’m part of a simple link online everyone votes then the numbers are shared and that gives the answer no further discussion needed

Having a man in the group would change the whole dynamic. You can say you're happy to have 'trans' and 'non-binary' people join, as long as they are biological women. If men want a group, they can form their own.

Why can't women just have something for themselves? Once men are involved it becomes something quite different and once the trans ideology raises its head the whole thing goes to shit. If you think men and trans ought to be included why don't you start a knitting club just for them? And then the women who want to can carry on enjoying a pleasant evening with female only company and have a well deserved rest from knowitall, selfish, loud and entitled men after having spent much of their working day and/or life with them! Jeez, it's not that fucking difficult is it?

Male sex pests aren't bothered about craft - they just want to get into women's spaces. They're perverts Janet.

What on earth is "cis men"? Don't you mean "men"?

Totally agree with this.

can't believe this answer tbh