AIBU to consider leaving our knitting group over its new policy?

So its fine to have same sex spaces until men want to join and then we have to Be Kind and let them in with a smile? Does that apply to lesbian groups too?

Unless your numbers are declining and you are in need of growing the group I don't understand why this would be necessary to target and try to attract any one group of people over another

The new chairman (woman) has recently decided that we should announce that we are ‘trans friendly’ and try to attract trans women and non-binary people.

Maybe you could announce that you are are 'age friendly' and try to attract people from every decade, or 'disability friendly' and try to attract more disabled people.

Does the chairman have plans for maybe a different drive each month?

Attitudes are not cured by contributing to the problem. Having a group that is only for women and trans women is contributing to the problem that trans women do not feel safe in spaces with other men in them. This societal problem is not solved by pretending trans women are women, it just creates a way of making it acceptable for trans women to be kept away from male spaces whilst creating massive breaches in the security of women’s spaces.

I mean same, i love going out with a group of women. But if someone trans of slightly different would come up to join, why not. Whatever your politics, is it not just rude at this point. Its a human.

Most of these terf types just see it as a boggyman coming to join. If that turned out to be the case, the person could just be asked to leave the knitting group (same with anyone being a c* in the group).

Yes. Men with the fetish of performing womanface to women are forcing those women to be part of the performance. I do not consent to help a man get off on being treated as a woman . Why can this man not attend as himself, a man? (if the group decides to admit men).

Ok, but why would she be fine with blokes who aren't trans in the group, but not fine with trans women in?
She's not objecting to blokes being there.

@Solentseeker could you suggest an anonymous vote to whether the group should be open to others.

I thought she'd said she'd much prefer it to remain single sex, but if they are going to allow any males in, it has to be all males.

I believe the OP objects to the idea of any bloke adopting 'womanface' and finds the concept misogynistic and offensive.

• or at least that's what I gather from her posts.

Ff's who knew knitting could be so complicated. Its put me right off joining the local group.

Just ridiculous nonsense. We are fully entitled, by law, to single sex spaces. I bet you have NEVER told a transwoman to stop obsessing about whats in people's pants and just piss in the mens because not all men are violent, have you? The sexist double standards of the far left never fail to amaze me.

I don't know why every group needs to be opened up in order to be progressive. Sometimes women just want the company of women and that's fine.

I understand your position but, unfortunately we have to be clear that all men have to be treated the same, the good and the bad. The good men KNOW this and respect women's boundaries. The BAD ones? They trample all over women's boundaries and call them names and threaten violence.

A trans woman is a bloke.

She's said she'd be fine with the group allowing men who aren't trans in.
It's just trans women she doesn't want there.
So it's not that she "doesn't want a bloke in a woman's space."

Women opting out of womanhood isn't a fetish, it is usually to protect from male attention. Men on the other hand, are prone to fetishes and if you dare to google the number and type of fetishes that give men a sexual thrill, and there are many, you will be shocked.

I am unfortunate enough to have seen these fetishist men publish photos and videos of them doing unspeakable things in women's public toilets, changing rooms etc . It is extremely disturbing.

Well in an ideal world i very much agree, it should be "everyone welcome". But as to reasons we see on this thread, MN, and the wider world its not the case.
We seem to be losing a lot of kindness and humanity. The arts should be a place of warmth. I hope none of these women have a teen going though any sort of gender dysphoria.

Oh come on, I’m a life long leftie and I know exactly what she is talking about - a particular type of usually middle class lefty liberal who engages in and espouse luxury beliefs. They are every bit as irritating as the Margaret Thatchers - “I’m a ball busting woman who made it to the top with no help (except for the rich husband, the nanny, the supportive start in life), why can’t you wimpy ordinary women just do the same?”.

Both groups are tone deaf and unable to consider anyone else’s views or needs or experiences. They know what is best for everyone else.

The type has always existed, SM just gave it steroids.

Form a knitting spin off group then if you have got the needle

Mumsnet bingo- The neurodivergent card 🙄 She doesn’t have to be neurodivergent just because she doesn’t want a bloke in a women’s space.

You are also allowed to set up your own group and have whatever rules you want. If you think nobody else will join you, maybe reflect on that.

I go to a knitting and crochet group.
It's all women except for the husband of the organiser who come to make us all cups of tea. I have been going for three years or so, and we have had one man join. He comes occasionally, not regularly.
I feel it is a largely female environment. We talk about knitting mostly and moan about our jobs and/or kids.
I think you may be creating a problem that isn't really there, but if you do go down an official route, it's not complicated, you are either for biological women only (and exclude all men regardless of if they are wearing a dress) or become mixed and welcome everyone. I predict if you go mixed, the amount of men joining will be vanishing small. The amount of transwomen will be even smaller - they are a tiny minority anyway, and knitters among them will be even smaller. Once you are mixed, the appeal vanishes for the transwomen who just want the validation and any TW joining are likely to be a genuine knitter.
I may sound a bit like I am opting for the easy life, but I am a Girlguiding leader as well, so I choose my battles on this issue.

I agree OP but I’ve been called a ‘sicko’ and ‘mentally ill’ for expressing this opinion. To me, the only mentally ill people are those pretending to be the opposite sex to which they were born. But, hey, who am I to say? I’m just an uninformed bigot apparently 🤷‍♀️

#TranswomenAreNotWomen

XX- Woman
XY- Man

That's true
Never really thought about it before but yes I can see that - the reason people probably give such a warm welcome is that they want to show that they honestly don't mind anyone turning up and joining.
As if the premise for some is outright hostility and assumptions that they're just sexual fetishists when they literally haven't done anything but want to join a craft group (like people tend to do) then the group needs to say "course you can join too"
if that's what they do indeed want.
In this case it tends to look like.
It's OP who wants to exclude them.

Sorry, but I disagree with only sending warming invites to transgender people. Either the group welcomes everyone, or it doesn’t and remains women only.

OP has clearly said that she would prefer it to remain a women's group, but if they vote to let men in that is fine.

She has also said: "It’s being expected to endorse the frankly pretty distasteful lie that women hood is nothing but a wig and a frock and calling yourself Susan."
I see nothing wrong with that view. I 'own' the view that transwomen are not women, and that it is a distasteful lie to think that womanhood is just a matter of clothes and names and pronouns.

TERF stands for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. It means a feminist who does not accept transwomen as being women.
@Solentseeker has not claimed to be a feminist. She excludes transwomen from her definition of women, but is not a TERF unless she is also a feminist.

Words matter.