Housing Crisis - 5 in a two bed flat

It’s easier to squeeze 1 child in than 4 or 5.

A couple of kids sharing a room absolutely fair enough - when I suddenly found myself a single mum and could only afford to privately rent a small two-bed, that was what my two boys did until I could afford something bigger.
But I just don't understand couples who find themselves tight for space and yet they keep having more children? Especially those who are in the Social Housing system then expect to be given a bigger house "just like that."

two, the previous owners were a family of five (three adult children).

What will you do with him if you and/or your DH lose your jobs?

I know someone in a 2 bed council flat, husband wife 2 boys 1 girl, 2 eldest mid-teens, youngest approx 11.
the living room is classed by the council as being a bedroom so don’t qualify as over crowded.
personally don’t know how they do it

I only have one sibling and grew up in a 3 bed council house in the 1970s. (Quite large with separate dining room.) I lived near half a dozen families with 6, 7, and 8 children though. All in the same type of council house as mine. In each case the parents had the boxroom, and the 6 to 8 children were split between the 2 other bedrooms and the dining room that was used as a bedroom. Many times there were 3 children in one bedroom.

Not uncommon at all, and people did just go along with it. My friends with 5+ siblings were very envious of me having my own room. I was envious of them having 4 sisters and 3 brothers! Then they were envious of me for only having one brother. Said they didn't get much attention from their mum or dad with there being so many children! Also, the oldest one or two girls were made to do housework and chores, and made to look after the younger children.

tl;dr, it might have been OK 40+ years ago, but I don't think a family of 5 should be in a 2 bed flat. Even a 2 bed house would be better because at least you have the garden! (Even so, a 3 bed house would be better.)

A lot of things that happened pre 1990s are not OK now!

The concept that every child gets/ needs/ deserves their own bedroom is a modern concept. Growing up the only person I knew who had their own bedroom was an only child.
It’s not the end of the world if you have to share a bedroom, or live in a smaller space.

There were 5 of us between 2 bedrooms. Us kids had bunk beds and a single bed. It was absolutely fine! We were clothed, food in our belly, educated at local school and medical treatment whenever required. A very happy childhood, you just cut your cloth..... none of us are materialistic as adults...we were brought up with other values ...tho all high earners.

I grew up sharing a box room with a much younger sister and hated it! I wouldn’t inflict that on a child of my own. Definitely in the camp of ‘don’t have kids you can’t afford’. There are so many split families now who seem to feel a need to have more kids with a new partner without any consideration to the children’s space or view on life as they grow up, I don’t get it.

We moved out of a city and the south east as we wanted more than one dc and housing was an issue.

How many of you are in the apartment?

Quite common.
We relocated at Christmas to a Nordic capital from UK.
We have 65m2 for 2 adults and a teen. We have very small bedrooms. A lot of our coworkers have similar housing conditions and the families I have spoken to at the teen's international school are in the same position.

We could more out of the capital and buy a house with more m2 and a garden for the same money as we have put in this flat. We don't want to move out again rural and we can't afford more m2 here. So here we are. No big deal really.

Out last house in UK was extremely rural so we had much more m2 and a garden but we enjoy being a city now.

When I was a child, my mum and I lived in a bedsit - i.e. one room - for a couple of years. Shared kitchen and bathroom. Mum had the double bed, I slept on the sofa. It was okay until my dad joined us.

I am by no means poor. I live in a small apartment in central London, albeit it’s probably worth low seven figures. I just don’t have much stuff! I hate the stuff, for me personally it’s a waste of money having the stuff and I prefer to go out/ events/ trips etc…..it’s also not all about money. I would hate to be maintaining the bigger home I could technically afford…..but to me I know I would be annoyed maintaining bathrooms I don’t need!

It’s quite a nuanced and complex discussion but statistically families in more deprived areas do tend to have higher birth rates and have more kids than wealthier families.

For which we should be bloody grateful.

European govts have finally clocked they’ve starved the middle classes out of breeding so we now need families who bust a gut to bring up as many kids as possible.

Social housing is the only way to afford a lot of children. Low-income homes could never be more of a gift to the rest of us.

Yes, ideally you’d have the doctors and lawyers who fund the homes having their own high-income DC, but that ship sailed with house prices and tax rises.

I don't want to say check your privilege OP but surely you had an inkling that large numbers of people in the UK live in sub-standard and overcrowded conditions?

My first home was a 2 bedroom flat - we lived there until there were 3 children. We then moved to a small 3 bed semi and my mum and dad had another baby, so it was a bunk bed and a single bed in one bedroom for the boys and me in the box room. It was definitely one of the deciding factors for me only having 2 children myself!! Although we now have more bedrooms than people and I never take for granted how lucky we are to have all the space

In student residences in China there are 6 students to a smallish room, with 2 three-tier bunk beds.

Lots of reasons.

Women who live in poverty generally have children younger, hence having more children. Whilst the women who wait until 30’s-40’s tend to concentrate on a career and financial stability before having children.

Cultural norms. People who grew up in large families tend to create larger families themselves.

Lack of sex education and education on contraception. Mistrusting the healthcare system or having a limited advantage to access healthcare.

It’s quite a nuanced and complex discussion but statistically families in more deprived areas do tend to have higher birth rates and have more kids than wealthier families.

I shared a small bedroom with my sister and brother until my parents had an extra bedroom built when I was 12. We had an absolute blast. A bunk bed and a single. We fought over who slept where, so Mum had a rota and we swapped every week🤣 We used to have our friends round and use the beds as an obstacle course, climbing onto the top bunk and jumping onto the single bed. I don’t remember where our clothes were kept as there was only a small chest of drawers and a toy cupboard in the room. No room for a wardrobe. We couldn’t really have slept in one room any longer than we did as I started my periods while the extension was being built and would have been mortified to share a room with my brother.

I grew up in a two bedroomed council flat. I shared a bedroom with my three brothers. This was normal for that era 60's into 70's.

In some other countries it's seen as much less of a big deal. I know a wealthy family where mum and son and daughter (9 and 11) share a bedroom. And another where a successful businesswoman in her thirties chooses to share a bedroom with her 13 year-old sister.

I think it’s pretty standard to have small homes and children sharing, unless people have a high income.

what I do think needs to be addressed in the uk is the trend for new builds to have tiny rooms with little storage space etc.

I must admit growing up in the 80s/90s I didn't have any friends whose parents slept in the sitting room but this is quite common now. Maybe it was normal going further back.

When my cousin's son and daughter were teenagers, they had a bedroom each and she had a sofabed in the living room. She had a decent job, but rental prices are high and she prioritised living in an area with good schools rather than space.

In my own social circle, no one I know is living in overcrowded housing (some have 2 kids sharing a room but in most cases kids have their own room) but almost all of us are living in small houses that a couple of decades ago would have been viewed as 'starter homes'. We're in our 40s in well paid jobs - so given we're in the small houses it doesn't surprise me that many people in lower paid work are living in even smaller houses/flats in very overcrowded conditions.