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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my friend being a CF with her WFH loo visits?

95 replies

MintPoets · 22/07/2026 17:37

One of my best friends lives in walking distance from me, and she has been seeing someone for a few months now who she is head over heels for. On the majority of recent Wednesday’s, she works from home as does he (he lives in a nearby town so has been staying at hers on a Tuesday and working there the next day).

My friend always goes out for a walk on her lunch, and times this differently to her partners lunch. Recently she has popped round for a chat with me whilst I’ve also been on lunch and used the loo each time. She told me the third time that this was because she’s avoiding going whilst her partner is staying with her.

I messaged her last night to say I had a long meeting over lunch so wouldn’t be able to see her today. She asked if I could leave the door unlocked and she could come in quickly whilst I was in the call. I politely said I wasn’t comfortable leaving the door unlocked whilst I was upstairs on a call. She sent me a bit of a funny reply suggesting I was being unreasonable.

So my question to you all is - AIBU, or is my friend being a CF?

OP posts:
Jollyhockeystickss · 22/07/2026 19:20

MintPoets · 22/07/2026 19:10

I did ask her, what would she do if my WFH day changed (which it could) and no longer matched hers. She just said that whilst it’s still early on she wants to leave some things to his imagination - I did point out I doubt he’s imagining that! They’ve had weekends away and she says she has always used the reception facilities or held on until home.

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How is it even possible to have sex with bowels full of poo?

IronEverything · 22/07/2026 19:20

I'm really interested to hear her message back. How bloody rude of her!!

hourspassed · 22/07/2026 19:20

Chilihealer · 22/07/2026 18:54

I’m more amazed that she perfectly times her shit every Wednesday for her visit to yours😂

I was thinking the same! That's quite some skill 😂

Rondayvu · 22/07/2026 19:16

Dumping on demand. I think I am jealous. I can't ask my body to do anything on time for me let alone shit at a certain time every day.

Justonemorething82 · 22/07/2026 19:15

If she tries it again, lock her in and rush round to her house and insist on using hers as she’s been taking so long in yours. Really need to nip that in the bud 👀

HowSweatyMess · 22/07/2026 19:15

mylifeisexams · 22/07/2026 18:34

This is batshit and this thread will definitely be picked up by the tabloids and will be like nectar for the poo trolls

will be like nectar for the poo trolls

Isn't that the whole point? Course it is.

Jollyhockeystickss · 22/07/2026 19:15

What will she do when she has a baby with him and gives birth and a tiny bit of poo comes out of her anus and rolls onto the bed and he says OMG!!

palorina · 22/07/2026 19:14

Cafe, Costa, the pub, somewhere must have a loo for her. This is so hilarious that I don't think I can believe her tbh. I'd laugh in her face first and then charge her a fiver a time.

Cailin66 · 22/07/2026 19:14

MintPoets · 22/07/2026 19:10

I did ask her, what would she do if my WFH day changed (which it could) and no longer matched hers. She just said that whilst it’s still early on she wants to leave some things to his imagination - I did point out I doubt he’s imagining that! They’ve had weekends away and she says she has always used the reception facilities or held on until home.

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This gets the award for the most batty thread this week.

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/07/2026 19:13

A very long time ago on MN there was thread about this sort of thing. It was about losing the embarrassment about bodily functions with someone new.

I remember one poster saying that she was on her first weekend away with her new BF and got horrific food poisoning from an oyster. She knew he was a keeper when he cleaned up after her, didnt turn a hair at her shitting herself whilst she was puking and they ended up married!

RominaDina · 22/07/2026 19:11

MintPoets · 22/07/2026 19:10

I did ask her, what would she do if my WFH day changed (which it could) and no longer matched hers. She just said that whilst it’s still early on she wants to leave some things to his imagination - I did point out I doubt he’s imagining that! They’ve had weekends away and she says she has always used the reception facilities or held on until home.

Show quote history

Absolute nonsense.

malefields · 22/07/2026 19:10

Do I feel her pain? Yes, because I’m just as bonkers.

Would I invade someone’s house because of my insanity? No, I just wait it out like a maybe less insane human being.

Original poster
MintPoets · 22/07/2026 19:10

Aloren · 22/07/2026 18:56

What is her long term plan here?

Is she just going to keep going to your house every time she needs a poo? Will she never poop in the same building as her boyfriend?

What if they go on holiday together? Move in together? Is she just going to keep knocking on neighbours' doors or nipping to the nearest supermarket? At some point he's surely going to wonder how she's been holding it in for the last year or two.

I'm not sure she's thought this one through...

I did ask her, what would she do if my WFH day changed (which it could) and no longer matched hers. She just said that whilst it’s still early on she wants to leave some things to his imagination - I did point out I doubt he’s imagining that! They’ve had weekends away and she says she has always used the reception facilities or held on until home.

OP posts:
DogearedPaperbackWriter · 22/07/2026 19:09

I'd have to tell her that the sooner she loosens up enough to use her own loo while her partner is there, the better. Is she waiting until they move in together? Very weird behaviour.

And of course yanbu to not want to leave the house unlocked for her very silly benefit.

CalliopeFosterBeauchamp · 22/07/2026 19:03

LondonLass2026 · 22/07/2026 18:23

This is one of the reasons I worked out my ex (long ago) was cheating on me. He was cheating with someone down the hallway (it was an apartment complex) so kept going round to "visit the husband" but in reality he was cheating with the wife - but he kept popping back to ours to use the loo! I knew him from years previously, and I knew exactly when he was trying to impress someone. That was what first planted the seed into my mind, and I wasn't wrong! I'm sort of laughing now but at the time it was a huge mess.

Your friend is definitely using your bathroom to take a number 2, and believes herself to be too dainty to do so when the boyfriend is in her home. It's really childish behaviour. Does she also get up at 6am to do a full face of makeup before he wakes up?

Edited

I used to know someone who would go to the bathroom before bed and take her make up off, wash her face, then put a whole new face on. Just in case her boyfriend woke up before her. (The friend isn’t her - she’s a teacher so can’t wfh)

I also used to work with someone who got up at 6am to use the bathroom (and presumably poo?) before her husband was awake, clean the bathroom for his highness, and do her hair and make up so DH didn’t have to endure the awful sight of <checks notes> his own wife with no make up on. She told us (her colleagues) this, as though it was entirely normal.

LightlyRoamingOcelots · 22/07/2026 19:02

If she doesn't want her boyfriend to know that she poos, she shouldn't be having him to stay over. You need to cut off her loo access and tell her to either admit the shocking truth to her boyfriend or to dump him if she can't bear him to know the truth.

JesseDavisGonnaHangOnInThereNSoul · 22/07/2026 19:01

She's a full on loony tunes

BillieWiper · 22/07/2026 18:59

If she's visiting you for social purposes then of course it's fine to use the loo. But if she's solely coming to yours with the intention of bathroom use and expects you to accommodate this regardless of your other plans then yeah that's ridiculous.

When you say she won't go toilet when her partner is present, how is that possible if they spend the night together? That surely isn't a long term solution even if you were fine with it?

Mariets · 22/07/2026 18:58

So she okay with stinking up your bathroom but not her own. She's a CF alright.

kittensinthekitchen · 22/07/2026 18:56

What I think is really weird is the number of freaks who sign up just to make a post about someone's shitting habits.

Aloren · 22/07/2026 18:56

What is her long term plan here?

Is she just going to keep going to your house every time she needs a poo? Will she never poop in the same building as her boyfriend?

What if they go on holiday together? Move in together? Is she just going to keep knocking on neighbours' doors or nipping to the nearest supermarket? At some point he's surely going to wonder how she's been holding it in for the last year or two.

I'm not sure she's thought this one through...

GreenWhiteViolets123 · 22/07/2026 18:55

Shes being weird. Its beyond time for her to reveal to her partner that she is in fact human and has normal human bodily functions. Your house is no longer available as her bathroom option.

Chilihealer · 22/07/2026 18:54

I’m more amazed that she perfectly times her shit every Wednesday for her visit to yours😂

Sibc465 · 22/07/2026 18:53

I once read a thread on a different site about a woman who was too embarrassed to go to the toilet with her bf there. So shit in the shower instead.

never finished it always wondered the outcome

icingonmycupcake · 22/07/2026 18:52

She's using your home like a public convenience and had the nerve to be miffed when you said that wasn't appropriate?

She sounds bonkers. And immature.