Husband having a go when I touch up make up on holiday

In fairness I went on holiday with a friend about 15 years ago and she took SO long to get ready to go out, she said she would be 10 mins but it was more like 30-40 mins of make-up and hair while I was ready and sitting there to go out to do what we had planned. I did find it quite frustrating when I had thought we had planned to go out at X time.

I’m awake a couple of hours before DH on holiday so I make sure my (minimal) make up, deodorant etc is in the bathroom. I get myself ready in there and leave him to sleep whilst I head to the pool to chill with my book. If I felt the need to freshen up during the day, I’d nip back to the room and leave him by the pool or bar.

On an evening I take longer than him to get ready so he will chill on the balcony with a beer and his phone or book whilst I do my hair and make up.

I agree with others though I wouldn’t be dictated to but also be mindful that your 10 minutes might actually be half an hour which is frustrating if you’ve planned an excursion or to do something at a certain time.

Controlling partner tend to become worse after marriage. They tend to rush to strong commitment quickly so it’s harder to escape and easier to control. Just saying.

I remember years ago going on holiday with my friend and her sister.

He sister drove me fucking mad with the amount of time she expected us to wait for her to do her make-up and 'curls' and then to keep touching up throughout the day.

She wasn't happy when I started to just go to breakfast without her because I refused to wait.

It was bad enough that she'd spend all day around the pool, shrieking if anyone splashed her precious hair.

I have no idea how I managed not to dunk her stupid head under the water! 🤣

Just tie it back ffs and get on and enjoy yourself.

Why is he so needy that he needs to go back to the room with you or wait for you? Cant he be on his own?

Thats what's weird about this.

So he has all the control in what you do, how you do it and when you do it. Wow. Honestly, good luck.. it doesn’t get any better. I couldn’t ever go back to that kind of “relationship”.. learn to love yourself and appreciate your time. Don’t let a man control you.

How long are you taking to get ready in the morning? If you take a long time (an hour or more?) then it would be rude, I think, to insist on doing it in the bedroom with the big light on, if your other half is prioritising sleep.

I do tend to agree though that your 'ten minutes' is likely to be longer than you think.

What's weird though is that he's your husband, so you must have known each other a fair amount of time- has this issue not cropped up before?

Sometimes, I read people's op and feel unsettled. I cannot imagine being around someone who dictates what I do or whose mood depends on what I do. I feel great joy that I share my life with a fellow adult human who does him and I do me and we help and respect each other generally. He can be infuriating but he is allowed to be himself. Life is so short and precious. And even I dont bother with make up on holiday, I dont even dry my hair. It all sounds so stiff and suffocating.

The 'forbids' was probably just to get MNetters onside and rile us all up so we say YANBU I think.

I'm a bit confused here so I've assumed he doesn't want you to put the big light on in the morning as he's still in bed sleeping.

I don't really know what you're freshening up for or when, but it would get on my tits having to go back to the room for someone to re-do their makeup, except if it's to actually chill, shower and change to go out in the evening.

Genuinely, it's exhausting being with someone who's very uptight about how they look.

Is it really 10 minutes or are you saying "I'll just be 10 minutes" when it's actually half an hour or more?

He “forbids” you? What do you say, after you’ve stopped laughing?
No, my DH does not do this. He will ask, quick turn around or getting ready to go “out out”? Quick turnaround is 10 minutes, so he will probably check emails.
If it’s “out out” he usually has a nap!

If you’re faffing about doing hair & makeup before going down for breakfast in the morning, I can understand that he might find that annoying. I can barely be bothered throwing a t-shirt on & dragging a brush through my hair. But I chill out as much as possible on holiday. Isn’t that the point?

I know right 😂😂 no one tell me what to do

@AImportantMermaid "Is it really 10 minutes though? ‘A few curls’ will easily take 10 minutes and probably closer to 20 minutes - on its own. My mother is like this - always primping herself."

Oh god, I could've written this. The number of times I used to hang around on holiday waiting for my mum to "tidy up". It invariably took nearly an hour by the time she'd got back to the room, set her stall out etc.

Maybe he’s worried other men will eye you up? But whatever the reason I’d have told him to shut the fuck up long ago.

How many times a day are you insisting on going back to the room to touch up your make up and hair?

I voted YABU because I wouldn't keep anyone waiting for me, not even a friend.

If I wasn't ready when they were, I'd tell them I'd meet them wherever we are going.

I almost never wear make up so he’d probably wonder what was going on.

Seems like an extra faff to be bothering about on holiday.

can you not relax without it?

If I couldn't have ten minutes to myself for whatever reason between one activity and another I'd feel pretty smothered. He needs to accept that a few minutes of your day belong to you, whether that's for make up or doing the macarana on the balcony, and he either waits patiently, comes up to the room ten minutes later, or goes down and meets you in the lounge.

He shouldn't be telling you what to do but to be honest my husband drives me mad faffing about in the room on holiday and it does feel like we are wasting our holiday time.

Really weird, want to say he is BU but.. how dark is it that you need to put the big light on in the room on holiday? Why is your stuff not already unpacked into the bathroom assuming its big enough, or the dressing table/desk etc? How noisy are you being with the make up and hair, I can't imagine it making any noise to do make up, maybe spraying a finishing spray on your face but that's not going to register if he is asleep. Is it using the hairdryer for 20 mins or something, that would annoy anyone I think, especially if on holiday to relax and get away from usual routines. But in that case if you're adamant about wanting to blow dry he could go sit in the bar or start breakfast / get coffee / read his book without you. You could also de camp to the pool changing rooms if available and hair dry there, maybe do alternate days so you are both equally inconvenienced?

I think maybe you are both BU. Do you argue over these issues at home as well or just on holiday?

I thought holidays were meant to be relaxed, happy times.

This all sounds depressing and regimented.

Can the man not entertain himself for ten minutes?
Why is it so important the room remains dark until 10 minutes before he goes out?
Is he any fun or relaxed in any other department or just 100% an arse?

Why does he even need to be with you for your mid-day touch up? Tell him to sod off and leave you to it. You’ll meet him at the bar when you’re ready. Impatient fucker!