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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to put out sweets for children at a summer party?

115 replies

Lotusina · 22/07/2026 16:32

I’m hosting a summer party soon and although the majority of guests will be late teens and adults, there are a few under10s attending too.

Food will be provided, but it’s a light summer buffet rather than bbq or sit down meal. There will be cupcakes and squash.

I want to make it as festive as possible for everyone, and I’m wondering whether to provide some little dishes of sweets for the kids.

As a parent, would this sit well with you or would it be annoying as hell?

I have no idea what sweets kids like these days, but was thinking of something like the natural confectionery co - would appreciate thoughts on that, or other suggestions.

YABU - don’t do it, their parents will hate you

YANBU - do it, it’s a party FFS

OP posts:
igelkott2026 · 22/07/2026 17:28

Haribo yuck. Percy Pigs yuck.

I'd say do chocolate buttons but I realise my tastes are not the same as under 10s :) And I guess they could melt. I like hard sweets like cola cubes but they probably are a choking hazard and are quite difficult to get now, I have to go to a garden centre to get them.

Jelly babies or jelly beans might work?

muggart · 22/07/2026 17:24

Lotusina · 22/07/2026 17:01

Thanks for your reply.

Its the first time I’ve hosted a big party like this for these folks so I guess I’m not seeing it as constantly giving kids sweets, but appreciate if they go to lots of parties it may feel this way.

Show quote history

I think this is exactly the issue I encounter as a parent to young kids. Everyone thinks that sweets and cake etc are a special treat when they provide it, but in practice so many people do it that it becomes endless.

Just as an example, i took my child to an outdoor street event at the weekend (people in costumes and music etc) and multiple random people tried to hand sweets to my children.

On Monday this week, i walked past a cafe and some elderly neighbours stopped us to say hello to my kids, and then tried to follow it up with giving them chocolate.

My daughter’s final football class of term recently - complete with a slice of cake and chocolate bars to take home.

My daughter’s first swimming lesson this summer - the teacher brought sweets for the kids to entice them into the pool.

Last night, I hired babysitter for 2 hours
and they showed up with a box of chocolates which they tried to share with my child (and looked at me like I was alien when I said no).

And that’s before you get into daily desserts at school, croissants for “France day”, etc.

I genuinely don’t think many of the people that say “nothing wrong with an occasional treat” realise that in reality it’s nonstop, relentless adults offering sweets and chocolate to other people’s children. It’s not just parties. It’s life.

Obviously, I do my bit to tell my children they can’t have them but then i don’t want to give them a complex or eating disorder by putting junk on a pedestal so it’s difficult to manage.

Naurrr · 22/07/2026 17:11

PoppieCock · 22/07/2026 16:51

It's not the OP's responsibility to see that children accompanied by their parents aren't running around while eating their sweets.

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Cool. I never said she would be.

@Esmeraldathe3rd I am very fussy about sweets, swizzels are like eating paracetamol 🤢

OwlCalledSage · 22/07/2026 17:11

I wouldn’t do it. But we never gave our kids sweets so it just wouldn’t occur to me.

Original poster
Lotusina · 22/07/2026 17:07

Esmeraldathe3rd · 22/07/2026 17:04

Also, as an adult, I would like a few sweets too.

😂 So would my DH! He’s a demon for Haribo

OP posts:
Original poster
Lotusina · 22/07/2026 17:06

Esmeraldathe3rd · 22/07/2026 17:03

Literally just a tub of swizzles would go down a treat with my lot. Who's fussy on sweets? And the kids will be hyper at a BBQ anyway. Presumably you're letting the adults drink. I wouldn't bother portioning them out or anything but maybe we have different types of friends.

I wasn’t thinking of portioning them out specifically, the cupcake case idea was more for a festive look. Others here have recommended individual portions though, but I think more to prevent fallings out.

OP posts:
Esmeraldathe3rd · 22/07/2026 17:04

Also, as an adult, I would like a few sweets too.

Original poster
Lotusina · 22/07/2026 17:04

bridgetreilly · 22/07/2026 16:53

I assume they will also eat the normal food on offer. I wouldn’t add sweets, personally, just make sure that there’s enough suitable actual food including cake and biscuits.

I’ve spoken to their parents when I arranged catering to make sure there’ll be food they like available (in fact I added to the caterer’s list with some of their preferences).

The sweets thing is an afterthought really.

OP posts:
Esmeraldathe3rd · 22/07/2026 17:03

Literally just a tub of swizzles would go down a treat with my lot. Who's fussy on sweets? And the kids will be hyper at a BBQ anyway. Presumably you're letting the adults drink. I wouldn't bother portioning them out or anything but maybe we have different types of friends.

Original poster
Lotusina · 22/07/2026 17:01

muggart · 22/07/2026 16:58

Sorry I do think this is an old fashioned approach and that many parents of very young children hate all the sweets their kids are constantly given. I personally don’t understand the obsession other adults have with giving junk to other people’s children.

Many parents of young children don’t want their kids to be given sugar at dinner time. They probably won’t say anything but my guess is that at least some, if not the majority, of the parents would prefer you don’t do this.

Thanks for your reply.

Its the first time I’ve hosted a big party like this for these folks so I guess I’m not seeing it as constantly giving kids sweets, but appreciate if they go to lots of parties it may feel this way.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lotusina · 22/07/2026 16:59

MrsMoastyToasty · 22/07/2026 16:57

Don't put out any sweets until they've eaten some savoury stuff first otherwise they'll go straight for the sweets and ignore everything else.

Yeah, that’s a concern I have and again wouldn’t want to piss off the parents.

Its an indoor party, which might make “monitoring” a bit easier.

OP posts:
muggart · 22/07/2026 16:58

Sorry I do think this is an old fashioned approach and that many parents of very young children hate all the sweets their kids are constantly given. I personally don’t understand the obsession other adults have with giving junk to other people’s children.

Many parents of young children don’t want their kids to be given sugar at dinner time. They probably won’t say anything but my guess is that at least some, if not the majority, of the parents would prefer you don’t do this.

Original poster
Lotusina · 22/07/2026 16:58

Createausername1970 · 22/07/2026 16:57

Stuffed with sugar....... I used to get given sugar sandwiches 😱. White sliced bread, spread with cheap margarine and liberally sprinkled with sugar.

I have no idea if it was a generational thing or a Midlands thing.

Can you imagine sending a child to school today with sugar sandwiches for lunch 🤣. There would definitely be a letter in the book bag.

Show quote history

Not just Midlands - I’m south and remember friends having sugar sandwiches!

OP posts:
BranClaps · 22/07/2026 16:58

Hide mini bags of Haribo (sealed packets) and send them on a hunt!

MrsMoastyToasty · 22/07/2026 16:57

Don't put out any sweets until they've eaten some savoury stuff first otherwise they'll go straight for the sweets and ignore everything else.

Original poster
Lotusina · 22/07/2026 16:57

six666 · 22/07/2026 16:40

Little indivdual bags of Percy Pigs from m&s always go down well at parties....but get plenty, teenagers like them too!

Perfect thanks, I’ve got these on my radar.

OP posts:
Createausername1970 · 22/07/2026 16:57

ThisWiseRobin · 22/07/2026 16:39

I usually ask folks if it's OK to give their kids sweets. I'm 69 years old and realise that thongs have changed.
Wr stuffed our kids with sugar. But new parents are different....and dare I say, a bit wiser food wise.
There are loads of sweets that have natural flavours and colours.
Of course most ice creams if you check the labels are OK and maybe just throw in some e numbers for those like me that don't care.
I think it's really good of you to care. Enjoy the party

Stuffed with sugar....... I used to get given sugar sandwiches 😱. White sliced bread, spread with cheap margarine and liberally sprinkled with sugar.

I have no idea if it was a generational thing or a Midlands thing.

Can you imagine sending a child to school today with sugar sandwiches for lunch 🤣. There would definitely be a letter in the book bag.

Original poster
Lotusina · 22/07/2026 16:57

ThisWiseRobin · 22/07/2026 16:39

I usually ask folks if it's OK to give their kids sweets. I'm 69 years old and realise that thongs have changed.
Wr stuffed our kids with sugar. But new parents are different....and dare I say, a bit wiser food wise.
There are loads of sweets that have natural flavours and colours.
Of course most ice creams if you check the labels are OK and maybe just throw in some e numbers for those like me that don't care.
I think it's really good of you to care. Enjoy the party

Thank you, and I’m 60 - think we’re on a similar wavelength.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lotusina · 22/07/2026 16:56

Kelvingrove · 22/07/2026 16:40

Children don’t always cope well with the idea of taking a few sweets and leaving the rest for someone else. Could you do a little bag for each child so they can take their time and know their portion is theirs to eat when they would like it?

I was thinking of setting them out in empty cupcake cases, so they could have their own little stash if I kept it quite light, and mixed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lotusina · 22/07/2026 16:54

PoppieCock · 22/07/2026 16:48

My friend did this for the kids at her baby's christening and I thought it was a lovely idea.

However, rather than dot the sweets around, she put them on a separate table next to the buffet so the kids could go up and choose with their parents.

I don't understand why you think parents may 'hate' this?

Well, I suppose as a PP said - they might not want their kids hyped up on sugar. Back in the day, it never bothered me for a party although that was twenty years ago.

I don’t think they’d literally hate me 😂

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 22/07/2026 16:53

I assume they will also eat the normal food on offer. I wouldn’t add sweets, personally, just make sure that there’s enough suitable actual food including cake and biscuits.

PoppieCock · 22/07/2026 16:51

Naurrr · 22/07/2026 16:35

If it's outdoors I'd think of wasps, and choking if the kids will be running about while eating the sweets and how annoying kids on sugar would be
🐝

Edited

It's not the OP's responsibility to see that children accompanied by their parents aren't running around while eating their sweets.

PoppieCock · 22/07/2026 16:48

My friend did this for the kids at her baby's christening and I thought it was a lovely idea.

However, rather than dot the sweets around, she put them on a separate table next to the buffet so the kids could go up and choose with their parents.

I don't understand why you think parents may 'hate' this?

mcmuffin22 · 22/07/2026 16:45

OttersOnAPlane · 22/07/2026 16:38

Mini bags of (vegetarian) Haribo go down well in my experience.

I'd go for these. If they don't eat them at the party they can take a bag each home with them.

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